Abstract
The Meaning of Wife was a disappointment. The enticing subtitle is cast on a striking cover depicting a woman's raised ring finger set against a Tiffany-blue background, leading to high expectations for a book of controversy and discussion of the Western role of wife. However, as Kingston defines in the second to last page, there is no singular meaning of wife. “That is the meaning [that there is no meaning].” One could imagine that this statement would leave readers thinking, “I just read this entire book for that?” It is only at the end of the entire text that the thesis statement of the book is clearly stated, having been only hinted at before. Frankly, the book is too analytical for the leisure reader and not analytical enough for the researcher or those well-versed in issues of women's or gender studies.
On the positive side, Kingston does provide the reader with a relatively in-depth historical perspective of the changing conceptualizations of wifehood in Western society. Multiple popular culture references are given. Additionally, personal narratives and anecdotes are used as examples throughout the work. These serve as points of interest for the reader.
One major problem with the text is the use of extreme statements, often based solely on anecdotal evidence. For example, in the chapter about bridal lust, Kingston compares historical coveture to current bridal trends. “Coveture has been replaced by commercial forces that work to reinforce conformity and make women subservient to events spinning beyond their control” (p. 58). Some anecdotal experiences follow to support this statement; absent from the chapter is empirical or other supporting data. Another somewhat offensive chapter focuses on the abused wife. Kingston seems to reject the idea that abused wives are victims. Although part of her point is that women can also be aggressors in relationships, she seems to lose sight of the plight of the abused woman and focuses instead on the commercial value of the abused wife. For example, one of the concluding lines of the chapter is, “She [the abused wife] had become a noble commodity, able to sell magazines, win awards, further careers, and even promote products such as tobacco” (p. 169). This conceptualization trivializes the reality of abused women.
Kingston also often refers to the wife gap, which she defines as polarizations in the meaning of wife. Throughout each chapter, multiple examples of the wife gap are presented, with the author seeming to take an almost condescending view of each extreme of any given continuum. Kingston appears to be frustrated at the stereotypes of the wife role. For example, in her “Sex and the Married Woman” chapter, she gives the impression that neither the chaste wife nor the sex kitten wife should be embraced by society. Kingston's use of these examples was a bit confusing. Readers are left wondering what her vision is for what a wife should be or how she would suggest we redefine the meaning of wife.
A notable shortcoming of the book is the lack of a multicultural lens. The majority of the book focuses on the experience of White, upper-middle-class, Western women. Race, religion, and socioeconomic status are not mentioned, and sexual orientation receives a single appearance. This is particularly problematic in that Kingston herself refers to wife as a “culturally bound” term. Without discussing any diversity characteristics, it is difficult to gain a complete perspective about how the meaning of wife can be culturally laden.
When examined in sections, the chapters do become more manageable. However, as a whole, the book is likely overwhelming to most undergraduates and lacks appropriate depth for most graduate students. We are unable to identify how this work could be used to inform psychologists because the book does not add new information or perspective to the field. Researchers and clinicians will not find this book useful, though one possible utility of the book could be the use of excerpts in a women's studies or psychology of gender course. Overall, the book was a somewhat tedious read. Though pop culture was referenced frequently, the amount was a bit daunting; in fact, we found ourselves lost in the details.