Abstract
‘But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you’ (Matt. 6:6).
I used to think this teaching of Jesus was intended to undermine the tendency I have towards hypocrisy. Jesus contrasts being seen by God in secret with being seen by others in public. He applies this principle to praying, fasting, and almsgiving, three of the major signs of piety. He knows that I tend to do these things to put on a show before others, convincing them by these actions that I am truly pious. To avoid the temptation toward hypocrisy, Jesus tells me that the only one who should know that I am praying is God. Everyone else would think that I never pray at all.
However, my reading of Kierkegaard has shown me that there is yet another way to interpret this teaching, namely, as a way of developing an ever-increasing level of intimacy with God. Kierkegaard asks me to remember that in the midst of my most intimate human relationships, I should have another even more intimate relationship with God. Just as intimate relationships are formed when I become vulnerable and increasingly transparent before another person, so that I allow the other person to come to see and know me, possibly even better than I see and know myself; so also to create such intimacy with God, I should go into my room and close the door, so that I can become increasingly vulnerable and transparent before God. Just as the other must love me if I am to become increasingly transparent and vulnerable; so also the God who is love itself will not cause me to hide from the harsh glare of condemnation, no matter what I allow God to see. Just as my intimate relationships with others depend on secrecy, giving me the freedom and confidence to allow the other to see and know me; so also praying alone in my room to the God who sees in secret teaches me that God is not only love, but is also confidentiality itself, so that I can share with God what I would never be able to share with another human being, including my anxiety and my hidden suffering, as well as my deepest shame and guilt.
When I pray to God alone in my room, I learn that I really do not show anything new to God, for I learn that God already sees and knows me completely, by means of my conscience. Moreover, by praying in secret, I find that my prayer stops being words addressed to God, and becomes a silence in which I listen for the voice of God. So whenever I pray, I should go into my room and shut the door and pray to my God who is in secret, so that I might thereby develop my most intimate relationship with God.