Layers of loneliness: A qualitative study on social isolation in midlife using ecological systems theory

Emotional bonds with children and siblings as protective factors against social isolation

Even among those currently experiencing social isolation, emotional bonds with children and siblings can serve as powerful motivators for living. For Participant A, who has been raising her daughter alone after a divorce, her daughter is the reason she continues to live. Similarly, Participant C, who can only see his granddaughter through video clips, described these moments as a small joy that helps ease his loneliness. Participant G, who meets his siblings once or twice a year, expressed gratitude for the care he receives from his siblings, who make a point to call him and show concern:

If it weren’t for my daughter, I wouldn’t want to live right now. (Participant A)

My eldest son got married overseas and has a daughter. But when he sends me a few video clips, I watch them to soothe my loneliness. (Participant C)

I’m struggling just to get by, so we only talk and meet once or twice a year out of obligation. My older and younger brothers always call me on my birthday and check in on me. (Participant G)

The presence of a neighbor to talk to during moments of loneliness as a deterrent to suicide

Feelings of loneliness and isolation can lead to suicide as a form of extreme action (Lapane et al., 2022). Therefore, forming relationships with others and alleviating loneliness through social connection may serve as a preventive measure against suicide resulting from isolation. Participant D emphasized that having time to “smoke with a neighbor” has been the reason he has not attempted suicide by taking an overdose or jumping. This highlights the importance of building emotional support systems within the local community:

When I feel lonely, I smoke with a guy in the neighborhood and we talk a lot about life. If no one had been there, I would have either quietly overdosed or jumped, and I would have died. (Participant D)

Distant family relationships as a factor that intensifies loneliness

Participants E and F both expressed a deep sense of loneliness stemming from their inability to maintain contact with their children. In particular, given the participants’ economically vulnerable circumstances, expectations such as Participant E’s belief that “if I had assets, my children would have called” appeared to intensify feelings of loss. These strained family relationships contributed to a sense of “solitude (Participant F),” which, in some cases, extended to a broader sense of meaninglessness in life, as reflected in Participant H’s statement.

If I had assets, my children would definitely have called to ask, ‘Dad, how are you? Are you doing okay’, But since I have nothing, they don’t. (Participant E)

What makes me feel the loneliest is the kids. I haven’t been in touch with them for a long time. When I miss my children, that’s when the loneliness really hits. (Participant F)

Disconnected relationships with neighbors

According to social network theory, individuals who are not connected to their communities are likely to be isolated without access to essential resources and information. Moreover, individuals who lose solidarity with others may become more vulnerable to adverse circumstances (Granovetter, 1985). In fact, participants in the present study who had become disconnected from their neighbors commonly reported feelings of being “like a loner” (Participant B), “withdrawn and alone” (Participant C), and “lonely” (Participant H). The concern is that this disconnection does not merely result in emotional isolation, but may also escalate into thoughts of suicide:

No one around me really pays attention, and that made me withdraw and stop reaching out to friends or neighbors. Eventually, I started feeling like I was all alone. (Participant C)

Moving into the apartment was nice at first, but after a while, I started feeling incredibly lonely. (Participant H)

Community welfare centers as agents for positive change through emotional support and program participation

In South Korea, it is mandatory to establish community welfare centers within public rental housing complexes, with the goal of providing not only economic assistance, but also strengthening emotional support for vulnerable populations. Participant A, who visits the center because it is a place where she can “talk about difficult things,” and Participant B, whose symptoms improved through participation in a depression program, both illustrate the positive impact of counseling and practice-based programs at welfare centers for middle-aged individuals facing social isolation:

When I go to the welfare center and talk about what I’m going through, the social workers there ask if I’m okay and help me. Honestly, it’s much easier to open up to them than to my family. (Participant A)

I started to gradually get better after joining the depression program at the welfare center. (Participant B)

Witnessing a neighbor’s solitary death as a reflection of one’s own isolated life

A significant number of public rental housing residents are single-person households with minimal social relationships, making solitary deaths within these communities both frequent and ongoing. This study highlights the need for policy and practice-level interventions addressing the shock and fear experienced by those who witness such events. Participants reported projecting these deaths onto themselves, with one noting that witnessing a neighbor’s solitary death triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Findings indicate responses must extend beyond the incidents to consider broader risks and psychological impacts among residents, emphasizing preventive and supportive measures:

When I hear about someone dying alone, I just think—how bad must it have been? And I feel the same way. I think that when I get old, and I’m sick, and have no children, maybe that’s how I’ll go too. (Participant D)

There was a solitary death nearby . . . After seeing that, I thought, “That could be me,” That’s when the depression began. If I could die without pain, I would. It would be a lie to say I never felt suicidal. (Participant E)

Negative perceptions of neighbors in public rental housing: A rejection of being identified as “one of the.”

Participant E avoided interacting with neighbors, and Participant H deliberately distanced themselves to avoid “becoming like them.” Such avoidance reflects a defensive response to perceived social discrepancies: while isolation often stems from lacking social bonds, it can also arise when one’s desired social connections differ from reality (Peplau and Perlman, 1979). In this sense, the act of avoiding other residents may be interpreted as a form of defensive response—a fear of social exclusion driven by the anticipation that their sense of being “different from them” will not be socially accepted, despite sharing the same residential environment:

I don’t like running into people in the neighborhood. When I see them, I instinctively turn away. I just avoid them. (Participant E)

After talking with someone for a while, the conversation always turns negative—just gossiping about others. If I join them, I’ll become just like them. So I’ve never gone over to that side of the complex. (Participant H)

High satisfaction with improved housing conditions following relocation to public rental apartments

The participants in this study had relocated to public rental apartments built in the area to ensure residential stability for individuals previously living in insecure, nonstandard housing such as vinyl greenhouses, semi-basement units, or small dormitory-style rooms (goshiwons). Compared to their former living environments, they reported experiencing significant improvements in daily life, particularly due to the clean and comfortable conditions of their new homes. Participants A and C expressed high levels of satisfaction with their current residences, contrasting their past experiences in “miserable” and “undignified” spaces with their new apartments, which offer “open views” and “well-maintained” communal areas:

After always living in basement rooms, I moved up to the 20th floor for the first time. The view is nice, and at first I even started going outside again. I guess it’s because I used to live in such miserable places—I’m pretty satisfied here. (Participant A)

The apartment has nice landscaping, and you can hear kids running around—those things are really nice. When I lived alone in a house before, I felt a deep sense of self-contempt, but now that I’m in a more open space, I feel like my mind has opened up too. (Participant C)

Disconnected relationships due to the enclosed nature of apartments

Although public rental apartments offer high levels of resident satisfaction in terms of clean-living spaces and well-designed communal areas, their inherent structural enclosure of apartment complexes may contribute to the weakening of neighborly relationships, potentially leading to or increasing the risk of social isolation. Both Participants B and H expressed a sense of loneliness due to the lack of connection with neighbors, despite being satisfied with their new housing itself. Notably, Participant H reported that the intensified loneliness eventually led to a suicide attempt. These findings highlight the urgent need for preventive support measures to address the isolation and loneliness experienced by residents of public rental housing:

Back where I used to be, there were people around, so I didn’t feel lonely. But here, even though it’s a new house and an apartment, there is no one around, and I felt very lonely. (Participant B)

Even after moving in, I was happy—but after living here for about a year, the loneliness started to hit. I was stuck in my room all the time, and I ended up doing something bad. (Participant H)

Inadequate transportation infrastructure as a barrier to mobility

Transportation infrastructure is closely linked to mobility rights. For residents of public rental housing—many of whom are physically limited or from low-income backgrounds—well-developed public transportation and special mobility services such as paratransit for people with disabilities are essential. However, reality often falls short. Due to physical limitations and the financial burden of transport fares, Participant C was unable to visit the welfare center, while Participant H experienced difficulty accessing even basic services such as hospitals and pharmacies. These cases reveal the structural barriers that persist despite individuals’ willingness to overcome social isolation:

I can’t move like other people. So even if the center is there, I can’t make use of it. (Participant C)

When I go to pick up my medication, I have to use a cane. I’ve even fallen on the bus. So I use taxis, but they’re too expensive—I just can’t afford it. (Participant H)

Public assistance benefits that support basic livelihoods

Most participants in this study were beneficiaries of Korea’s National Basic Livelihood Security System. Depending on their circumstances, beneficiaries may receive full or partial support for living expenses, medical care, education, and housing. For socially isolated middle-aged individuals who are cut off from private support systems such as family or friends and are unable to work due to health issues despite being of working age, these public benefits play a critical role in maintaining their livelihoods. Participants A, B, and F commonly expressed a sense of “relief” and appreciation for being able to receive this governmental support. Given their isolation and inability to work, it is evident that without such assistance, their circumstances could easily lead to solitary death:

The living allowance is a bit insufficient, but I can still manage. That’s how I’m surviving now. (Participant A)

I think the country’s welfare system is really well developed. That gives me a great sense of relief. (Participant B)

When it comes to living or medical benefits, I think Korea has improved a lot. I really appreciate that. (Participant F)

Social stigma toward public rental housing residents and welfare recipients

Controversies surrounding urban development plans that incorporate public rental housing into general residential areas often stem from concerns about residential stigmatization (Kim, 2005). Statements by Participant C—who associated public rental housing with a “beggar-like life”—and Participant D—who reported feeling marginalized due to negative perceptions toward welfare recipients—reveal that such stigma is not merely theoretical but a lived reality. This societal stigma surrounding public rental housing may also compel residents to hide their living circumstances, potentially increasing their risk of social isolation:

Just because I live in public rental housing doesn’t mean I should live like a beggar. I may not be able to work now, but I’ve lived my life with pride, and I’ve never lived in a filthy way. (Participant C)

People in the general public tend to hold unfavorable views toward welfare recipients. They assume we might avoid paying or try to take advantage of the system. It’s those kinds of judgments that make you feel excluded. (Participant D)

Experiences of divorce as a life transition

For many participants, marriage—and its subsequent breakdown—marked a major turning point in their lives. Divorce often shifted them from a life shared with family to one of solitude. Participants A, B, and F all described experiencing significant emotional and psychological challenges following divorce, including prolonged depression (Participant A), stress-induced illness (Participant B), and suicidal ideation tied to feelings of shame and worthlessness (Participant F):

Things didn’t work out with my child’s father, so we got divorced. I ended up taking antidepressants for nearly ten years. (Participant A)

I felt incredibly hopeless. After spending my whole life with my spouse and children, I suddenly found myself alone. I kept thinking, “Why did I live my life this way,” That sense of shame would consume me when I was alone. I kept hearing a voice in my head saying, “You should die.” (Participant F)

A life trapped in a self-imposed cage to conceal perceived failure

According to Self-Discrepancy Theory, emotional vulnerability arises from a misalignment between one’s actual self and self-guides. The greater the discrepancy between the ideal self—a reflection of personal aspirations—and the ought self—internalized social expectations and moral obligations—the more likely individuals are to experience negative emotions such as guilt, self-blame, and diminished self-worth (Higgins, 1987). Participants in this study had previously experienced a sense of success in their personal or professional lives before becoming public assistance recipients. This made it particularly difficult for them to reconcile their current status with their past identities. As a result, they reported behaviors reflecting social withdrawal, including “feeling ashamed and losing pride” (Participant C), and “not asking for help” (Participant F). As Participant F noted, they came to live “trapped in a cage of their own making”:

I used to work in finance and ran my own business. Now, everything is so different—it’s really hard to accept. I guess it’s a kind of inferiority complex. I can’t help but think, ‘I used to be better off than you’, and that really hurts my pride. (Participant C)

I’ve cut everyone off, and that only makes me feel lonelier. It’s embarrassing to contact people I used to know, and I can’t bring myself to ask them for help. I guess I’ve trapped myself in my own cage. (Participant F)

Micro-level: Individual economic and psychological stabilization

At the micro-level, interventions aimed at enhancing individuals’ economic and psychological stability are required. Prompt and targeted support is crucial for unemployed middle-aged men living alone who face economic hardship. The findings show that employment loss and financial instability both trigger and intensify social isolation among middle-aged single-person households, with cascading effects on self-esteem, social withdrawal, and suicidal ideation. Participants’ accounts—such as feeling that “life completely collapsed” after divorce and job loss or believing one “should die” when left alone—emphasize the depth of emotional disintegration accompanying prolonged isolation. The findings indicate that counseling and support services provided by community welfare centers can reduce social isolation among middle-aged adults; however, those at the highest risk of isolation often face substantial barriers to accessing these services. This is evidenced by participants’ accounts describing their initial contact with social workers as a critical turning point that facilitated immediate crisis support and a clearer recognition of their personal circumstances in the process of recovery. Accordingly, interventions that disrupt the pathways through which economic instability leads to social isolation and heightened suicide risk are essential.

Furthermore, policy measures such as greater flexibility in the duration of basic livelihood benefits, adequacy adjustments to benefit levels, and integrated interventions linking medical care with income support for individuals facing employment barriers due to chronic illness or mental health conditions are required. In South Korea, the Emergency Welfare Support Program provides temporary assistance to low-income households experiencing sudden crises that threaten their livelihood. However, limitations in the number of times this support can be received restrict its effectiveness in addressing the chronic instability experienced by many in this group.

Meso-level: Community-based relationship restoration

At the meso-level, community-based practices that facilitate the restoration of social relationships are required. Middle-aged individuals at risk often face psychological vulnerabilities, such as depression and social withdrawal, especially after family disruptions, leading to avoidant behaviors that hinder forming new ties (Park and Choi, 2020). Participants’ statements such as “I instinctively avoid people” or avoiding others to prevent “becoming like them” illustrate how midlife individuals experience depression and social withdrawal after divorce, family disconnection, and job loss, leading them to avoid forming new relationships altogether. The analysis suggests that policy interventions aimed at restoring community ties should adopt a staged approach.

Participants perceived social workers as individuals they could “open up to more easily than family,” indicating that social workers can serve as an initial point of reconnection for socially isolated middle-aged adults. Accordingly, early interventions should prioritize stable, trust-based relationships through regular one-to-one counseling or small-scale emotional support programs within community welfare centers. Building on this foundation, individuals may be gradually linked to voluntary small-group or peer-based activities. Participants’ accounts further caution that premature exposure to broader social networks may intensify avoidance, highlighting the need for medium- to long-term, relationship-centered interventions. In addition, to mitigate isolation arising from limited access to information—as identified in this study—it is necessary to improve information accessibility through a range of strategies that combine traditional outreach methods with digital platforms such as social media. Such efforts are expected to enhance awareness of available services, including psychological counseling, financial assistance, and, where necessary, transportation support.

Macro-level: Structural accessibility and stigma reduction

Finally, at the macro-level, there is a need to emphasize practices and policy initiatives that strengthen accessibility to support systems and reduce stigma. Institutional measures to improve physical accessibility—such as transportation support and the provision of counseling spaces near residential areas—should be implemented for individuals with mobility or transportation barriers. These efforts can enhance physical accessibility, ensuring that social work services are more effectively available to those most at risk of isolation.

Finally, efforts must focus on reducing the stigma surrounding public rental housing and poverty. The analysis indicates that identification as public rental housing residents and public assistance recipients elicited shame, social withdrawal, and sustained psychological strain, contributing to reduced self-esteem and heightened depression. Fear of negative judgment led some participants to avoid social relationships or delay help-seeking, thereby deepening social isolation. These findings support prior research conceptualizing stigma not merely as an internalized response but as a structural mechanism that reinforces social exclusion and inequality (Bane and Elwood, 1994; Link and Phelan, 2001; McCormack, 2004).

Notably, midlife emerged as a critical stage intensifying stigma, as participants described heightened scrutiny associated with “not working at this age” while living in public housing. This reflects normative expectations linking economic self-sufficiency to moral worth in midlife, thereby deepening social isolation and vulnerability. Grounded in principles of social justice and human dignity, such efforts are essential for reducing stigma and fostering inclusive community environments that support agency, social participation, and meaningful relationships.