Context of Male Single Parenting in Nigeria

Introduction

This article examines the intersectionalities and existentialities of male single parents to contribute to knowledge on understanding shifting contours and dynamics of family formations, relations and current realities. These intersectionalities and existentialities include worldviews non/supports, challenges and gains/opportunities even though the intersectionalities and existentialities may be intricately intertwined with gender, feminity, masculinity and family processes and systems. Hence, although single parenting has its normativities, it also has the capabilities to throw up many antinormies in the context of social change, gender, modernity and postmodernity (Akanle and Ogunkan, 2021; Benocraitis, 2012). However, most family and gender studies scholars have tended to focus more on and have created analytical frameworks and narratives of single parenting along one gender lines especially when underdeveloped countries are of interest (Nwachukwu, 2006; Nwachukwu and Agbo, 2007; Schaefer, 2006) thereby leading to unbalanced understanding of the trajectories and ramifications of single parenting particularly in African societies with inherent patriarchy as though normativities and cultures of such societies are immutable (Akanle, 2021; Akanle et al., 2016).

On the contrary, this article demonstrates that men, a gender category not usually researched and narrated as playing single parent roles, may actually play leading roles in single parenting thereby calling to questions, family-related organizations, scholars, state/non-state actors and other stakeholders to pay significant attention to strategic changes emergent family contexts of usually traditional and underdeveloped countries. Underdeveloped countries, particularly of Africa, are usually plagued with traditionality and patriarchy that have been narrated to oppress and bully women thereby pushing the female gender into single parenting (Akanle and Ejiade, 2012). The research questions this article answers are: what are the worldviews of worldviews about male single parents, what are the experiential consequences of male single parenting? What are companionship deficits occasioned by male single parenting? What support systems are available for male single parents? And, what are the perceived benefits of male single parenting in context? According to Schaefer, (2006), Nwachukwu, (2006) and Nwachukwu and Agbo (2007), single parent family is a family where only one parent takes care of the children. Single parent family does not imply gender but mere refers to socio-numerical situation of child care in context of parenting (John and Shimfe, 2020; Pollit, 2014). Most existing studies on parenting in Africa have, however, tended to synonymize single parent families with those families where the woman provide care for children (Nwachukwu, 2006; Nwachukwu and Agbo, 2007; Schaefer, 2006), after the man exists the family, at least in presence term – physically.

Forces of industrialization, modernization, socio-economic pressures, technological exposures/the CNN Effects, local/international migration, urbanization and globalization play key roles in the ascendancy of single parenting in Africa (Akanle, 2011; Olutayo and Akanle, 2008). According to Nwachukwu (2006), these forces have had/are having tidal effects social structures, including family systems, in manners that throw up new formations, relations and organization (see also Nwachukwu and Agbo, 2007). Across Africa, and in Nigeria, for instance, ascendancy of single parenting is fast-paced and trending to the extent that about 35% of the population are from single parent families (Nwachukwu and Agbo, 2007). Today, the original traditional structures and functionalities of family as a social institution and relational system has been seriously altered and ruptured to the extent that the new forms are forcefully emerging. Such forms are now single parenting across social class and categories regardless of income and educational status (Akanle et al., 2018; Akanle and Nwaobiala, 2020a, 2020b).

While existence of single fathers (male single parenting) may not be entirely new in developed countries like the United States and studies have matured on the phenomenon in such contexts, same cannot be said of the situation in Africa. Researching the phenomenon in the United States, Grall (2009) using Census data, there is concurrent increase in the existences of both single mothers and single mothers within the same period in the United States. Interestingly, the rate of growth of single father phenomenon has overtaken single motherhood according to as a phenomenon even in the United States (Herrerias, 1995; Hofferth et al., 2012; John and Shimfe, 2020). While there is dearth of knowledge on this phenomenon in Nigeria, observations and experiences has led to advocacy for paternity leave in Nigeria to allow men stay at home and care for children where women are not available. The Federal Government of Nigeria in response to the reality granted paternity leave as a law in the country in 2021. Paternity leave would have been considered a taboo and unthinkable few years back. It is therefore timely for this research to further contribute empirical knowledge to the understanding of this phenomenon from developing society’s perspective.

This article aims to make important contributions to the effective understanding of male single parenting, the causes, problems and consequences in an African context – Nigeria. This research, through the aim, has the capacity to assist scholars and development partners in better understanding and designing support systems and programmes to assist single fathers in better managing issues faced by increasing phenomenon of male single parenting. Hence, this article points, empirically, to continued relevance, resilience and strategic roles of African kinship and social networks in support systems and relationships stabilizations, even within the very weak formal support and welfare frameworks on the continent.

Methodology

This article is based on an empirical study conducted between March and December, 2021 (a period of 10 months) in Ibadan, Nigeria as the primary setting. Ibadan was chosen for the study because of its relative and comparative advantage of being a modernizing location yet Ibadan has retained many of its definitive original traditional elements substantially even in the face of internally and externally induced social change. Ibadan is one of the few modernizing yet traditional settings in Africa. The choice of Ibadan therefore enabled objective understanding of manifestations of shifting family patterns, systems and roles relative to male single parenting in Africa in context of social change. The research design of the study was exploratory with qualitative method of data collection. Thirty in-depth interviews (IDIs) were conducted and these interviews were triangulated with autoethnography and primary insights of around a decade. During IDIs, observations were also adopted to enhance robustness of data and research process. The exploratory research design adopted was because of the novelty and originality of the research with the aim of achieving earthworm/detailed community and familial understanding of the problematic. These are core advantages of exploratory and qualitative design and methods and these were found very relevant to the study. Hence, not much work existed on the subject matter in context studied in this article.

The utilization of exploratory research design allowed the researchers to originally, strategically and creatively achieve inclusive and systematic approaches that enabled addition of systematic scientific depth, flexible strategies and inclusivity to fieldwork and research management to ensure relevant contribution to knowledge in this article. Sampling was purposive with an infusion of guided, tracked and well-informed snowballing. Background checks to ascertain correctness and usefulness was conducted on everyone included in the sample to prevent redundant data and findings. Inclusion criteria were based on relevance, availability, willing to participate, knowledge base and experiential legitimacy.

Population of study were male single parents with the inclusion of single mothers and children from single parents’ background as counterfactuals to balance data and findings. The inclusion of single mothers and children from single parent families was considered very necessary to ensure balanced view of the issues rather than relying on only accounts of single fathers which may be too partial for objective research. Interviewing single mothers and children assisted the research in getting whole views of the issues in manners that would have been impossible if perceived accounts of the single fathers were solely relied on. The counterfactuals and data-balancing approaches were considered very important to prevent vacuous and subjective knowledge. This approach was found very relevant and it was a very new contribution to knowledge in research single parenting in Africa. Primary data were gathered through qualitative technique of 30 IDIs. The breakdown gives a total of 10 IDIs with single fathers, 10 IDIs with single mothers and 10 IDIs with children from male single parent background. The reason for stopping the sample size at 30 (10/10/10) was because we reached the points of saturation and it was very challenging to reach more interviewees’ categories who were willing and knowledgeable to participate in the study. Hence, the issue of male single parenting is largely an emerging phenomenon in context and single fathers are somewhat hard to reach because many are not proud to self-identified as such and unwilling to grant interviews for fear of stigmatization.

All the interviewees were contacted through snowballing as there were not established lists and networks through which interviewees can be randomly selected in context of study. Semi-structured interview guide was developed and used to gather from interviewees through the researchers’ facilitated approach. The interviews were conducted at the time, convenience and locations of choice of the interviewees. Extreme care was taken not to belabour the interview processes and the interviewees. Thus, the range of time of interviews was 20–45 minutes. Interviews were conducted in English language and there was no need for translation as all interviewees were able to understand English language which was the language adopted for the study.

Secondary data were sourced from journal articles, books and reliable online sources. While the focus is on single fathers, inclusion of children and mothers enabled comprehensive understanding of single fathers not only based on information/data from single fathers but also counterbalanced data from significant other actors, including children and women. This approach yielded more reliable data and more dependable findings. The research was able to get data from key actors that matter to the problematic beyond the male single parents alone.

Data collected were tape-recorded, transcribed verbatim, proof-read and analysed through Computer Assisted Qualitative Data Analysis Software (CAQDAS). Data gathered were entered into the software and subjected to content and thematic analyses. Best practices in research ethics were followed throughout the research process. Particularly, ethical principles of anonymity, informed consent, freedom from harm, non-coercion, non-inducement, beneficence and non-maleficence were painstakingly observed. Adherence to the global best practices listed above was the hallmark of the ethical frameworks that guided this research as approved and sanctioned by global ethics bodies. No one was coerced and/or induced to participate in the study. All participants were involved in the study willingly and free of charge. Hence, the more senior researcher holds Certificate in CITI (Collaborative Institutional Training Initiative) Programme Course, Responsible Conduct of Research, 2023–2027 and Certificate in CITI Programme Course, Nigerian National Code for Heath Research Ethics, 2023–2026.

A major challenge this study confronted was interviewees not wanting to give detailed information about themselves as issues of research interest concerned the personal life and experiences of interviewees. Many of the interviewees felt the probes and prompts were too personal and they were reminding them (interviewees), in some instances, of some unpalatable experiences they have had with their former partners. Judging by interviewees’ attitudes, many consider the interview sessions’ verbal autopsy of their family disorganization that was considered failures and often stigmatized in Africa. However, through painstaking professional competence, strategic interviewees’ engagements and deployment ethical assurances and protocols, the research team was able to breakthrough and get useful data that informed this study. It is noteworthy that we do not consider the challenges faced during fieldwork as limitations. We consider them as normal in innovative and original empirical researches. This is particularly so as we were able to manage the challenges effectively in manners that they do not negatively impact the research process. As a matter of fact, the challenges eventually enhanced the quality of the research and built the capacities and experiences of the researchers.

Data and results/findings

In this section, data and results from the fieldwork are presented to contribute to knowledge. It is noteworthy that appreciable care was taken not to stifle data with over interpretation and excessive narration. Thus, data presentation and analysis was carefully done to retain and protect the freshness, essences and originalities of data gathered for the article. Thematic data presentation and analysis approach was adopted along the causes, problems, perceived benefits and consequences of male single parenting while also contributing to knowledge on companionship deficits, life experiences and support systems of male single parenting in context. Based on the data analysis, the age range of interviewees is 30–67 years for male single parents, while the age range of women is 38–57 years. Age range of children from single parent homes is 21–28 years.

Causes, problems and consequences of male single parenthood

Results show that there are several reasons why single fatherhood is has become phenomenal in context. At the forefront of the causes of male single parenthood is the death of the wife and divorce as a result of misunderstanding between spouses. Traditionally, such misunderstandings are managed and/or prevented through customary systems that are internalized through socializations (Hikey, 2018). Social dynamics driven by globalization, modernity and westernization have, however, weakened the traditional and customary support and stabilizing systems usually leveraged to prevent divorce and irreconcilable differences and misunderstandings that now commonly break marriages and lead to single parenting.

There are many causes of the irreconcilable misunderstandings. These causes include financial stress, gender-based violence/intimate partners’ violence, realized incompatibility, drug addiction, abandonment, infidelity, health reasons, unwanted pregnancy, careers and international migration (emigration) of a spouse to seek greener pasture abroad (see also Omobowale et al., 2019) among others. According to a male single parent (Mr Ajisafe ¹ ), for instance, his wife left him with the children and emigrated without informing him of the migration decisions and plans:

My wife and I separated. She travelled to another country. For a woman to adamantly leave her children and husband alone and say she’s going in search of greener pastures when it is not like we are not financially okay, that is a big division already. (IDI/Male/47 years/2021)

According to Gbamila, a 30-year-old male single parent,

The mother of my child isn’t involved in taking care of our child because her parents wanted her to go back to school and become a lawyer which she did. Also her parents never wanted us together because of the tribe I belong to, so they made sure we cut ties and immediately our baby was born, they flew her out of the country to start a new life. Ever since then, I’ve been taking care of my child alone. (IDI/Male/30 years/2021)

According to the Kanawo,

Many factors are responsible for single parenting, ranging from death of the spouse to divorce. In my case, I am divorced and I was granted custody of our children. (IDI/Male/48 years/2021)

On drug addiction as cause, Mr Ojolowo observed,

My wife and I separated due to the fact that she’s a drug addict and she was neglecting her duty as a mother so I had to take my daughter away since she refused to get help. (IDI/Male/60 years/2021)

Having children out of wedlock is also a major cause of male single parenting. A major trend among the youths is a phenomenon popularly known ‘baby mama’ or ‘baby father’ as the case may be. This refers to situations where young men/women make babies without been married legally or even traditionally. Parties can be both unmarried or one may be legally married to another man or woman while having infidelity/extra-marital affair with another younger person who upon having a child/children become baby mama/baby father. In other instances, younger people may have premarital sex that sometimes lead to childbirth but without serious commitments other than having fun. According to Mrs Dorilibunbir,

There are many causes that can lead men to be single parents. Could be by divorce. When a man divorces his wife, there is tendency for him to become a single parent before he remarries. Also, the death of a wife can lead a man becoming a single parent. Or some that say they have baby mamas and keep the women outside their matrimonial homes so they live as single fathers since the wife is not staying with them. (IDI/Female/56 years/2021)

Corroborating the point, another interviewee, Mrs Ajasaloyeaye, maintains

From my own point of view, most single parents that are men become single for various reasons. One of those reasons is the death of their wife. Another reason is incompatibility with their wives which inevitably leads to a split or divorce. If there are children from the union, some women have no desire to be stuck with the children and they leave all the responsibility to the father. (IDI/Female/51 years/2021)

From the depicting ethnographic summary above, it is evident migration and separatory decisions are sometimes not based on mutual agreements of couples. Disagreement is thus a major reason for male single parenting beside death of wife (wives) and divorce. On unwanted pregnancy, in many cases, one of the parties in the marriage may refuse to take responsibility over the child after there have been forms of disagreements. This is now commonly the case in Nigeria where paternity frauds and disputes, due to infidelity, are becoming rampant. This is as unsure men are demanding medical paternity test (DNA tests) to ascertain paternity of children. The (social) media space of Nigeria is awash with news of paternity frauds, including those involving celebrities and people in high social class.

Problems and consequences of male single parenting

This section examines problematic experiences of single fathers in the process of raising their children. From data gathered and analysed, findings show single fathers barely have time to take adequate care of the children as they have to combine work with patenting in poor systems without social welfare and formal government supports. Also, most of the single fathers also do not have any training and socialization to prepare them for parenting compared to their female counterparts (Hikey, 2018). The men are also inadvertently playing (parenting) roles they were not, in anyway, prepared for. The chances of successful parenting are therefore little for the male single fathers and it is not surprising they face numerous challenges and consequences. A lot of the research participants maintained men are actually clueless about single parenting.

According to single father (Mr Adigunonibaje),

The problem is being clueless about a lot of things, most importantly, taking care of the children. I have two sons and a daughter. When they were younger than this, they were really playful kids, if you leave them alone for few minutes without monitoring them, they would have scattered everywhere before you get back. The house was always messy and I couldn’t open up to my family members that this was what had happened to their mom. I’m having to face many challenges including are emotional ones. (IDI/Male/47 years/2021)

According to another single father (Oshoonimajake),

The major problem I faced as a single parent was having to play both the role of father and mother to my children especially to my female child. I couldn’t really identify what my daughter needs easily like I know what my son would need. (IDI/Male/52 years/2021)

Loneliness is another major challenge single fathers’ face. Many single fathers also agree having a partner/wife is a best way to parenting. According to Shakete (another single father),

Loneliness is a key consequence. Nothing can really fill the void that the absence of a woman leaves. It has also affected my productivity at work. I have to joggle between carrying the full responsibility of the children and meeting up with the demands of my work. (IDI/Male/48 years/2021)

Another major problem single fathers’ face is financial (fund) problem as they now have to cater for the needs of the whole family alone. In the words of a single father (Ajisafe),

. . . the financial aspect of it (the challenge), two hands would reduce the burden of the costs of bringing up a child. (IDI/Male/47 years/2021)

Financial challenge is a big issue to single fathers as they have no one to share the cost of raising the children with. Aside financial challenges, conflict of interest and communication gap are other problems single fathers face. This was corroborated by a male child (Babyokuya) who was raised by a single father:

. . . then another thing is money. If they are two, they can support each other with finances. But the person will be the only one taking care of the finances. (IDI/Male/22 years/2021)

Most of the male single parents complain they are not able to manage communication effectively with the children because they are mostly not available. According to a single father – Ajisafe,

We usually have conflict of interest about many things. Our children are already adults, one is done with university, while the other two are still in university and the last child is in the final class secondary school. So, telling them this is how to do certain things is difficult. So most of the time we disagree and these disagreements make us fight. Also, financial burden, having to take care of these grown adult is a lot on me. (IDI/Male/47 years/2021)

According to Shinoigala (a single father),

Communication gap is really a problem. I wasn’t so close to my kids. Due to the nature of my work, I hardly stay at home. I’m always traveling from one place to another, they had their mother’s attention every time. (IDI/Male/51 years/2021)

Most of the single fathers consider male single parenting very tedious, burdensome, cumbersome, time consuming, leads to distrust and mistrust, too expensive. According to Majekodunmichukwu (a single father),

I have faced a couple of problems being a single parent. The financial burden of raising children alone is really straining; it would have been easy if my wife was around to support. Also catering for the kids has been very tedious. My kids are still young so I have to do most of the household chores myself. I wasn’t used to cooking, cleaning and other things I have to do now. Also, it is emotionally straining. (IDI/Male/46 years/2021)

The challenges faced by single fathers are also succinctly captured by a single mother (Shikemihajiya) below:

The man has to take up the task of playing the role of both parents to his children. He has to drop a lot of his habits and some of the activities that he would usually participate in to become more available to his children. I think single fathers have more challenges raising their children than single mothers, especially in this part of the world. In the Nigerian culture it is believed that the job of raising children belongs to the women and the man’s job is to provide (money/resources). Most men need companionship and cannot be alone for a long time. Another challenge single fathers face, especially fathers of female children, is having difficulties in ensuring that their children are properly educated in female hygiene and sex education because they know almost nothing about these things. (IDI/Female/51 years/2021)

Another single mother (Gratiakunmi) alludes to the scripture to elucidate the belief that men need companionship more than parenting and have difficulty raising children:

There are many problems they face. Even the Bible says it is not good for a man to live alone. Living as a single parent without companionship is a problem. Sometimes, it is the finances. It is not all things that men can provide. If they are living singly, it can be possible not to get somebody to support them. So, they keep living in abject poverty. Then, in bringing up children, it is not easy for a single father to bring up a child. It is a difficult task. It is only mothers that know how to bring up children. So, the children may develop and may sometimes be vagabonds or run away from home, living the father to be alone. There are problems that may even get to mental issues. So, there are many problems that single fathers sometimes face. (IDI/Female/56 years/2021)

Children of single fathers also corroborated the opinions of the single parents above. When the children raised by single fathers were asked to explain problems of men as single fathers raising children alone. Their responses were not significantly different those of other previous interviewees. They children opine single fathers have serious problems having to perform the roles of mothers in families.

Perceived benefits and support systems of male single parenting

A very intriguing finding made during study was the perceived benefits some interviewees believe are accruable to being single fathers and it is opined that it will be a major contribution to knowledge to explore this. This is particularly important against the background that more attentions have been on the negativities of single parenting. While it is not intended that single parenting should be unnecessarily glamourized and celebrated, it is important to understand possible undercurrents driving this social reality – male single parenting. While interviewees consider male single parenting is and driven and caused myriads of factors, difficult, consequential and problematic Many of the male single parents do not actually find anything beneficial in being a single father as they complain bitterly about the problems that comes with been a single father. This is consistent with problems and challenges they already gave earlier in this article. Interviewees generally contend that the problems and challenges attached to been a male single parent actually outweighs the perceived benefits associated with it if Cost–Benefit Analysis of Male Single Parenting (CBAMSP) is done.

For interviewees who noted and identified benefits of male single parenting, a major benefit given is the opportunity to take decisions faster as there will be no other party to challenge decisions and opinions which tend to slow decision-making in families down. The men then tend to be in charge of everything which some egoistic men may cherish especially after been socialized in the patriarchal system of Africa for many years. They cherish the fact that they do not have to take permission from any spouse before they do whatever they want. They do not have to take permission from any wife to carry out anything. This view was interestingly forcefully noted by children from male single parents’ families. According to Majalebamiwi, a child from male single parent:

It is easier to make decisions because he does not have to consider the other person as he is both the mother and the father.

Even though this opportunity to make faster decisions is considered benefit, it is a double-edged sword as it can also be problematic by leading to poorly thought out decision that may have negative consequences. The men however consider it advantage. This element of perceived benefit is also better understood against the background that these single fathers are mostly from turbulent marriages where unity and ease of joint decision-making have been problematic over the years. Some other interviewees also find male single parenting beneficial because they believe they have more time with the children and quality time to interact with the kids as opposed to when they had wives. According to Shinoigala (a single father),

The upside is that there is opportunity to spend quality time with children. We are getting to know each other really well and I’m starting to be a really good friend to them as well. One step at a time. (IDI/Male/51 years/2021)

Mr Ajisafe, for instance, found the situation beneficial because he has been able to interact more with the children:

Bonding and getting closer to the children more than ever. There are also some certain things I’ve learnt that if not for this situation I wouldn’t know what they are about and they are good lessons. I’m a more disciplined person now. (IDI/Male/47 years/2021)

A lot of the single fathers also believe been solely responsible for the parenting make them feel very responsible and accomplished and take full compliments and glory for the eventual success of the children. They feel they will not share the glory with the wives or anyone when they children succeed in life unlike if they were in marriages where the women will turn the hearts of the children against them (the fathers) and take all the glory as African societies traditionally believe women take the sole responsibility for proper child parenting. Another major perceived benefits found is that being a single father allows the man has freedom to do anything he wishes to do at any time. While this position is common among men and women, it is interesting that even children observe this. The children observe that their single fathers became free after becoming single parent and they consider it a benefit. According to Oyinboibadan (child of single father),

Freedom, I think that’s one thing I think they do enjoy and the fact that there’s less conflict about certain decisions like disagreeing about the school the child has to go to or those minor things that really cause trouble among couples usually reduce drastically. Also, the children find it easier to bond with the father as well, they become really close friends and he becomes involved in the life of his children the more. (IDI/Female/22 years/2021)

On support systems of single fathers, opinions of single mothers were thematically analysed in the first instance for objective-balancing leveraging. Most single mothers opine the society is usually more lenient with single fathers and treat them more nicely when compared to the single mothers. Single mothers assert that single fathers get supports if they relate well with people. The single mothers, however, maintain that single fathers only get emotional supports mostly and rarely get financial supports. The single mothers submit that single mothers get more helps/supports than single fathers in society because men are expected to be able to figure out and fix their problems themselves since they are men and the society expects them to be competent in providing for their families whether they are single parents or not. According to Mrs Dorilibunbir (a single mother),

Sometimes, if they relate well with others, they may get support. Single mothers get more benefits than single fathers, because they- society- look at single mothers as caring for the children, and would need support. They may get benefits from parents, friends, relatives or government. Single fathers are sometimes neglected. (IDI/Female/56 years/2021)

According to Mrs Ireneiwolomonu (a single mother),

Single fathers won’t want their egos bruised by asking for financial help. I think single fathers get help emotionally from their family and friends. People often blame them for not being capable of keeping their homes. Emotionally, he may receive support as people would understand that he might struggle with doing the tasks that are originally meant for the woman. However, financially, I do not think they provide support. (IDI/Female/53 years/2021)

This comparatively lower level of existential supports for single fathers was also noted and emphasized by children raised by male single parents. According to Salaochigan,

Literally, I’ve not seen any support from anywhere as long as my own family is concerned. As a man, my dad would not even want to appear venerable and helpless. He is a man and will continue to be that. One thing he has taught me is to always portray strength wherever. If you have to be going to ask for help and support people will tend to see you as weak. (IDI/Male/28 years/2021)

For Oyinboibadan (another child from single fathers),

He (single father) is the only one that is supporting himself financially. My dad is close to his siblings and they get to talk. He also talks to us the children and we support his decisions. We get to listen to him rant and things that affect him. Basically, most support comes from his children because he is quite conservative about things and does not really open up to outsiders. (IDI/Female/22 years/2021)

While a few of the single fathers claim they get support from people around, some of them said they do not get support and some are not interested in seeking support. The little support they get are basically emotional support with little or no financial support. Single fathers insist seeking support will lead to series of disappointments from people. For Mr MabayomijeOluwa (a single father) who captured modal view of the single fathers:

Truthfully, you must try and ease your burden yourself and yourself alone. Looking for support here and there will just disappoint you. Because you might be down emotionally, financially and even spiritually, when you are expecting something from someone and when it is not forth coming, you will have to cheer yourself up and do something for your children. (IDI/Male/49 years/2021)

The lower level of supports single fathers receive is also observable in their companionship deficits occasioned by male single parenthood. It is not easy at all for single fathers to enjoy robust companionship at least not to the extent they normally should enjoy if in marriage. Single fatherhood has the capacity to alienate single fathers from significant others emotional relations. This is particularly so as marital breakdowns that lead to single fatherhood ultimately often lead to stigma for the single fathers. This is more readily so in Africa where capacity to manage and remain in marriages is usually a measure of management competence, success, honour, dignity and responsibility. Anyone out of marriage, for whatever reasons, is thus commonly seen as irresponsible and dishonourable.

In many instances, unmarried, divorced and/or separated people are not given higher positions in organizations, societies and communities. This deep-seatedness and cultural legitimization of this situation/reality finds parallel in the Yoruba proverb: aponle ko si fun oba to ko ni olori (there is no respect/honour for a king without a queen (wife) In fact, in traditional Africa, kings will usually not be installed without a wife. If a bachelor is chosen to be king, he is expected to be married before installation or immediately after because it is considered dishonourable for a king – or any responsible man- to be unmarried. It is also commonly believed that anyone that cannot maintain a family does not have the capacity hold leadership positions in societies as the marital collapse is seen as a clear demonstration of his leadership incompetence.

Single fathers usually get companionship from friends, members of religious organizations and their children. Many single fathers also relax alone and seek companionship in their children as they serve as sources of joy to them. Mr MabayomijeOluwa (a single father) observes,

I relax alone. To avoid unnecessary stress in your life, you must try to be your own companion and also try to relax with your children. There was a time I took my children for shopping and recreation and they were so excited to just play games and have ice cream. I just sat down and watched them have fun. So, if I now say I want to take someone with me to that place, people might begin to think a different thing. You just have to be friends to your children first so when you decide to go out and be friends to someone else, no one can dispute your intentions. (IDI/Male/49 years/2021)

Children raised by single fathers agree their fathers find companionship in them and their male friends but they all make mention of the fact that they find it difficult to welcome any other woman who is not their mother to the house thus making external companionship and remarrying difficult for single fathers.

Discussion of findings

There are various causes of male single parenting and this include divorce, death of one parent (in this case, the wife), harsh economic conditions, increase in birth to unmarried women or what can be termed as having children out of wedlock and abandonment among others. Findings on the causes aligned with those of Nwachukwu (2006) and Amato (2007).

Findings on problems and consequences of male single parenting are consistent with those of Otite and Ogionwo (2006) and Chen (2006) who also found proofs to support problems and consequences found in this study even though recent data contributed to knowledge in this article provide more comprehensive and contemporary problems and consequences. For Chen (2006) stress and frustration are among major issues faced by single parents

While the existing studies focused single parenting generally and among women particularly, this article contributes to knowledge on the little researched experiences of male single parents. Single fathers generally find single parenting worrisome burden which has its own advantages including opportunity to make decisions faster without the wife because they do not need to consult their wives whenever a decision is to be made. Male single parents find companionship more in their kinship and social networks but financial supports are nearly unavailable to them. This is a major problem in poverty invested setting of Africa without any social support systems from the state. Many male single parents refuse to remarry or engage in romantic relationships to protect the interests of their children who are also protective of their fathers and jealous on behalf of their divorces/separated mothers.

Against the background of functionalism as a theoretical framework, the family as a social institutions plays important roles in the society. Dysfunctionality is, however, now emergent in the face of globalization, westernization, modernization, industrialization, urbanization and social media. When the family unit consists of just one parent taking care of the children and performing the roles of both parents, the burden of responsibility might be overwhelming on that particular parent. The single father tends to overlook certain responsibilities that are essential for the smooth running of the family. Based on findings of the research, most single fathers often do not know how to relate with the female child. This is dysfunctional to the family and inimical to the society. It is convoluted socialization processes with possible consequences of dangerous social gaps that will affect the social equilibrium and sustainable functioning of the family and society in the short and long run (Hikey, 2018).

Male single parents tend not to know how to attend to all of the needs of their children especially the girls/ladies. They also find it difficult to bond emotionally with the kids while they also often neglect house chores, because those are seen as the roles of the mothers. These needs and roles that are often ignored by the fathers yet the roles are usually what are expected of the mothers, in Africa, and they sometimes have detrimental effects on the upbringing of the child or socialization of the children. Without the mothers, the family institution is generally affected, which also affects other institutions. Within the framework of functionalism, when there is a dysfunction in one social institution as being seen in male single parenting, the dysfunctionality will of necessity affect other social institutions in stabilizing the society going forward. The family must therefore play its expected roles by maintaining and achieving stability and unity (Akanle et al., 2018; Akanle and Nwaobiala, 2020a). Even though some male single parents claim that there are benefits, these perceived benefits come at huge costs to the family institution and the society at large within sustainability considerations and concerns.

The dysfunctionality of the parents in the family can affect other institutions, such as the religious institution. In most societies, the mothers are often the upholders of religious practices and customs since the fathers are often the bread winners and rarely have time for any religious activities and practices. When there is an absence of the mothers, the family unit has nobody to help uphold those religious standards and it affects their morals, beliefs system, their practices. It also affects how they relate with members of the society. Dysfunctionality of the family and male single parenting can also lead to dosing and overdosing on hard drugs, so as to forget their worries, becoming chain smokers, becoming alcoholics and engaging in deviant activities like; cultism, ritualism and cybercrime.

Conclusion

This article shows that there are different and many forces and elements that may change the structures, stability and functionalities of families, and these must be well studied and appreciated as shown in the case of male single parenting here. This article, thus, makes very important contributions to knowledge on better understanding of the causes, drivers, consequences, support systems and management of male single parenting in Africa.

In this article, we suggest the need to be overly intentional about understanding emergent changes occurring in families of poor countries particularly Africa. The family is undergoing pressures in Africa on the occasion of social change vehemently driven by both internal and external factors and forces. One of such changes is male single parenting that we empirically examine in this article. Male single parenting is forcefully emerging in Africa and there is a need to pay more attention to this in scholarship and practice. Ibadan, Nigeria is chosen as empirical case study to draw attention to a more general and fundamental issues in Africa actually. While studies abound on women/female single parenting, there is dearth of data and knowledge on male single parenting in Africa and poor settings. Thus, the need for this article to understand associated issues that are important in understanding social change, Africa, family, sustainability and human behaviour for now and the future. From this article, it is possible to better understand causes/drivers of single fatherhood, challenges and consequences, their lived experiences, perceived benefits and their support needs and systems, in socioeconomically settings, among others.

The need to better understand male single parenting is also because it has implications not only for Africa and the family but also for other social institutions and the world at large. If some men opine they stand to get some benefits from removing their spouses, this phenomenon may become legitimized even when it throws up more dangerous and seriously fundamental challenges that are inimical to the society and the world at large in the long run. If women and other genders believe that they can abdicate their child upbringing and other familial roles to the other party – men/other (Bemiller, 2008; Blurmmer, 2007) – this may also become normative even when it should be antinomy. Male single parenting has the tendency to breed criminals, drug addicts, drug barons, murderers, kidnappers, gang members, cultists, thieves and social misfits in the long run due to abdication of familial responsibilities, incompetent playing of familial roles and outright familial neglects (Bondenhorn, 2006). The time to pay more attention to male single parenting is now for the benefit of everyone and everything!