Abstract
From founding members of the International Academy for Marital Spirituality (INTAMS) in Belgium comes this timely new collection of brief essays on marriage. The authors (mostly European theologians) present for the next generation a spirituality of marriage grounded in experience. Among the essays are real gems—particularly those by Thomas Knieps-Port le Roi, Enda McDonagh, Ilse Cornu, and Elizabeth Davies. Notable themes include the enduring otherness of a spouse, the ongoing yearning for unity, the adventure of entering into a lifelong covenant, the reality of suffering, the need to accept imperfection, and the profound gift of being in relationship with one person for a lifetime.
In the introduction, editor Brenninkmeijer-Werhahn writes of a younger generation “searching desperately for testimonies, practical guidance, and points of orientation” (2) and promises a book that “illustrate[s] the value and difficulties of a lifelong relationship in its various facets” (3). More than most theological works on marriage, this book delivers. It takes seriously theoretical discussions of marriage as it relates to the Trinity, domestic church, and total self-giving, while attempting to show what Christian marriage looks like from the inside.
Some of the book’s best moments come when authors use literature (for instance, Revolutionary Road, The Odyssey, On Chesil Beach) and down-to-earth language (such as “stickability,” that quality that helps couples choose to seek reconciliation again and again because “we cannot imagine life without this person” 188). The most successful authors push beyond traditional formulas, using what they have come to know through experience to describe marriage in its fullness and advocate for its endurance.
Twenty-five years after the founding of INTAMS, it remains difficult to say true things about marriage. Theologians, like artists, novelists, and filmmakers, speak more easily of courtship, adultery, and divorce than of the “in-between” of marriage, where the ordinary and profound coexist. Those who are willing to make themselves vulnerable in attempting to speak of the “in-between,” even when words will always seem inadequate, do a great service for the church.