Male Strippers and the Toll of Exotic Dance

Abstract

While researchers have looked at the impact stripping has for female exotic dancers, very little attention has been given to the consequences the profession has for male strippers. In this research, I draw from 22 in-depth interviews with male exotic dancers and 18 months of fieldwork at a strip club to examine the extent to which male strippers experience “the toll” of exotic dance. Specifically, I focus on dancers’ interactions with customers, their experiences with stigmas, the impact stripping has on their romantic relationships, how they negotiate boundaries with patrons, and the consequences stripping has for their self-esteem. Overall, I found that patriarchal privilege and the sexual double standard significantly mitigated the toll of the profession.

Keywords

exotic dance stigma self-concept sex work

Personal Reflexive Statement

As a sociologist, I come from a symbolic interactionist perspective and specialize in the areas of gender, sexualities, deviance, and social psychology. My research concentrates on meaning-making and the formation of identities. In particular, I have a commitment to understanding the subjective experiences of marginalized and stigmatized groups. I come from the standpoint that the experiences of those that society considers “deviant” are valuable and should be studied in their own right. Here, I discuss such a group: male exotic dancers. I argue that paying attention to the experiences of sex workers is an important step in fostering diversity and inclusion, as those in this profession are often underrepresented, lack visibility, and face stigmas. In this article, I present the experiences of male strippers in their own words and discuss the gendered ways in which they experience the occupation.

The topic of stripping has infiltrated popular culture in recent decades. One only needs to peruse the Internet to find how-to books on exotic dance such as The Art of Exotic Dancing for Everyday Women (Stauffer 2003) or The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Pole Dancing (Reardon 2007). Stripping has also been the subject of mainstream motion pictures such as Showgirls (1995), Striptease (1996), Magic Mike (2012), and Chocolate City (2015). Similarly, academics have been interested in various aspects of the profession in recent decades (Lavin 2013). While researchers have studied a variety of areas related to exotic dance, one of the most popular topics is the impact the occupation has for those who engage in it. Most of the research that concentrates on the consequences of stripping focuses on women who dance for men (WDM). For example, there are multiple studies that center on the ways in which exotic dance impacts women’s sense of self. Some research suggests that stripping can have a positive effect on WDM’s self-views (Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989). For instance, dancers may enjoy being desired by customers (Barton 2007; Ryan and Martin 2001) and delight in the “sexual attention” they receive (Wood 2000:26). Stripping can also be empowering for women, as it may give them the chance to enact their femininity during their performances (Wood 2000) as well as provide those who have been sexually abused as a child an opportunity to regain feelings of power (Wesely 2002).

Although some researchers discuss the benefits of stripping, the majority of studies on exotic dance highlight the negative consequences associated with the job or what Barton (2006, 2007, 2017) calls “the toll” of stripping. Much like other research on exotic dance, these studies primarily focus on WDM. For instance, some studies suggest that women may develop negative feelings from the objectification they experience while working (Wesely 2002). Additionally, some scholars argue that the interactions WDM have in strip clubs are illustrative of the general disempowerment women experience in everyday life (Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989) and that they are reacting to the exploitation they face in a “phallocentric society” (Wesely 2002:1183).

There is considerably less research on the impact stripping has for male dancers. This is not surprising, as the research on male commercial sex workers in general is scant (Bimbi 2007; Weitzer 2009), and academics have largely ignored the diversity of experiences in this population (Bernstein 2007; West 1993). Male sex workers who cater to female audiences are particularly underrepresented in academic research and public policies (Lee-Goneyea, Castle, and Gonyea 2009). The minimal attention given to this population is due, in part, to the challenges of studying them which include difficulty obtaining funding and combating the misconception that the topic is “sensationalistic” (Castañeda 2014:402). Arguably, the focus on female sex workers can be attributed to double standards regarding women’s sexuality, such as the notion that only women are sexual objects and capable of selling sex (Minichiello and Scott 2014) and that professions that deal with intimacy are strictly “women’s work” (Castañeda 2014:402).

Despite these obstacles, a handful of academics have looked at the experiences of male strippers, with some paying attention to men who dance for men (MDM) and others focusing on men who dance for women (MDW). These studies concentrate on dancers’ personal traits (DeMarco 2002), their feelings of objectification while performing (Scull 2015; Tewksbury 1993), issues of power (Calhoun, Cannon, and Fisher 1998; DeMarco 2007; Margolis and Arnold 1993), customer–dancer interactions (Petersen and Dressel 1982; Scull 2013; Smith 2002; Tewksbury 1994), and the ways in which the occupation shapes their self-definitions (Boden 2007; Calhoun et al. 1998; DeMarco 2002; Dressel and Petersen 1982b; Margolis and Arnold 1993; Scull 2015).

Although these studies provide a useful foundation for understanding the experiences of male strippers, they do not offer extensive insight into the various negative consequences that exotic dance has for men, particularly those who perform for female audiences. Examining the impact the profession has on MDW is important because stripping, like almost every other occupation, is gendered (Frank and Carnes 2010) and the differential social power bestowed to men versus women in the workplace can result in qualitatively different experiences. Further, the workplace is one of the primary arenas in which our gendered sense of self is created, maintained, and contested (Padavic and Reskin 2002). Strip clubs are particularly interesting sites to explore gender, as dancers often use hypermasculine or hyperfeminine presentations of self during their performances (Mavin and Grandy 2008; Scull 2013).

In the paper that follows, I discuss each aspect of the toll that female dancers experience as delineated by Barton (2006, 2007, 2017). These include dancers’ interactions with customers, their experiences with stigmas, the impact stripping has on their romantic relationships, difficulty negotiating boundaries with patrons, and the consequences stripping has for their self-esteem. I then use Barton’s notion of the toll as a frame with which to examine the gendered differences in the impact exotic dance has on male strippers. Overall, my findings reveal that, due to patriarchal privilege and the double standards regarding sexuality in the United States, male strippers were not as negatively impacted by the toll of exotic dance compared to the female performers described in the existing literature. This was because their status of being male afforded them more social power both inside and outside the club and mitigated the negative consequences associated with the profession. My findings speak to the ways in which social identity categories such as gender serve as a form of protection for male performers.

The “Toll” of Exotic Dance

In her work on female exotic dancers, Barton (2006, 2007, 2017) refers to the negative consequences associated with exotic dance as “the toll of stripping.” She identifies five factors that contribute to this toll. The first factor is dancers’ interactions with customers. Interacting with male patrons can be taxing for WDM, particularly those who have spent a significant amount of time in the career (Barton 2006, 2017). Male customers can be rude, disrespectful, and outright cruel (Barton 2007), which makes it difficult for dancers to create the artificial intimacy (Pasko 2002) that the job demands (Barton 2017). Women must often endure verbal abuse in the form of insults as well as physical abuse and harassment, such as men grabbing them, pulling at their clothing, calling them degrading names, and throwing money at them (Barton 2006, 2017). Over time, these offenses become difficult for women to tolerate and may cause some dancers to develop a general dislike for men (Barton 2007, 2017; McCaghy and Skipper 1969). Some performers report using drugs and alcohol to cope with these negative interactions (Lavin 2014; Pasko 2002).

The second factor that contributes to the toll of stripping is the stigmas to which dancers are exposed. Research indicates that WDM are often the targets of a variety of stigmas (Barton 2007; Bell, Sloan, and Strickling 1998; Skipper and McCaghy 1970) and receive little social support (Bernard et al. 2003). These stigmas may make it difficult for dancers to apply for other jobs (Bell et al. 1998) as well as maintain employment in other occupations (Bernard et al. 2003). Stigmas may also present challenges for women when they attempt to access medical resources and when they are in search of housing (Barton 2007, 2017). Several studies demonstrate that WDM often internalize the stigmas that are applied to them (Barton 2006, 2017; Bell et al. 1998; Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989; Skipper and McCaghy 1970, 1971;Trautner and Collett 2010), which leads them to frame their occupation in a negative light (Skipper and McCaghy 1970, 1971).

The third component that contributes to the toll of stripping is the negative impact on dancers’ romantic and sexual relationships. Most WDM are not able to conceal their occupation from their partner (Bradley-Engen 2007). Therefore, the stigmas they face are not confined to the strip club but spill into their personal relationships. Exotic dance presents a unique challenge, as the job demands that women violate the social expectation that nudity and sexual arousal occur only within the context of a relationship (Bradley-Engen 2007). The violation of this expectation often leads male partners to act threatened, jealous, controlling (Barton 2017; Bradley-Engen 2007), and even demeaning. For instance, some women report being called degrading names such as “slut,” “bitch” (Bradley-Engen 2007:389), and “whore” by their partner (Barton 2017:101).

In her research, Bradley-Engen (2007:387) characterizes dancers’ romantic relationships as “abusive, exploitative, degrading, or stressful.” She also found that despite participants’ desire to have a mate who was respectful and financially stable, their partners rarely possessed these qualities. In fact, dancers often provide monetary support to male partners who are unsympathetic and disrespectful (Barton 2017; Bradley-Engen 2007; McCaghy and Skipper 1969). Over time, their partners’ ridicule fosters feelings of guilt and shame among some WDM. Despite their initial attempts to deny their partners’ negative portrayal of their occupation, many women come to agree with and accept the stigmas their mate applies to them (Bradley-Engen 2007).

The fourth aspect of the toll of stripping relates to the challenge of creating and maintaining boundaries with customers. Most dancers attempt to earn as much money as possible while minimizing the extent to which male patrons touch them. As Pasko (2002:59) notes, this involves maintaining a “pseudo closeness” with customers. Dancers must also be mindful of the rules set forth by club management while still tending to patrons’ wants and desires (Lavin 2013; Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989). Most strip clubs hire bouncers to enforce the rules. However, as Pasko (2002:54) observes, these regulations are largely “symbolic” and WDM may violate legal codes by touching customers.

When violating these rules, female dancers often perform acts with which they are not comfortable in order to earn more money from male patrons (Barton 2017; Wesely 2002). This may include touching customers more intimately than they usually would, allowing customers to touch them, dancing nude, and/or performing more sexually explicit acts such as manual stimulation or sexual intercourse. In addition to the financial incentives, dancers may be pressured from management to be more intimate with customers. This, combined with alcohol and/or drug use, often creates blurred boundaries, even for dancers who rigorously try to maintain them (Barton 2017). The lack of clear boundaries has the potential to make women feel as though they are sacrificing themselves for money (Wesely 2002) or that they have lost control over who they are (Wesely 2003).

The fifth and final dimension of the toll of stripping is the impact on dancers’ sense of self. Although women may initially experience an enhanced self-concept as a result of stripping (Barton 2006), these feelings often disintegrate over time due to a variety of factors (Barton 2007). For instance, some female dancers feel objectified because of their occupation (Barton 2007; Bradley-Engen and Ulmer 2009; McCaghy and Skipper 1969; Wesely 2003). These feelings may percolate into other aspects of their lives and make them feel vulnerable both inside and outside the club (Pasko 2002; Wesely 2002).

Additionally, being evaluated on their appearance may give women a distorted sense of self and cause them to feel insecure about their looks (Barton 2007:91). Further, some women begin to base their self-worth on their earnings (Wesely 2002), which can have a negative impact on their self-concept (Barton 2007; Bradley-Engen and Ulmer 2009; Wesely 2002). WDM utilize a variety of techniques to distance themselves from negative characterizations in order to protect their self-views. For example, some dancers distinguish themselves from their colleagues who are addicted to drugs (Lavin 2017) or those who engage in more intimate acts with customers (Barton 2017). They may also differentiate themselves from “career dancers” by emphasizing that their role as a stripper is temporary rather than a long-term occupation (Trautner and Collett 2010). Others distinguish themselves from their coworkers by emphasizing more socially acceptable roles, such as being a college student (Trautner and Collett 2010).

Literature on Male Strippers and The Toll of Exotic Dance

As noted above, the research regarding the consequences stripping has for female exotic dancers is extensive. However, the ways in which male strippers experience the toll of stripping have received less attention from academics. First, there are only a handful of studies that focus on dancer–customer interactions (Dressel and Petersen 1982b; Scull 2013; Smith 2002). This research suggests that male dancers are usually in control of their encounters with patrons and may even physically manipulate female customers for the purpose of embarrassing them (Margolis and Arnold 1993; Montemurro 2006; Scull 2013). There is also very little literature regarding the stigmas male strippers experience. The few studies that address this topic suggest both MDM (DeMarco 2007) and MDW (Scull 2017) face negative social reactions. However, they tend to be fewer and far less severe compared to the stigmas that female dancers experience (Margolis and Arnold 1993, Montemurro, Bloom, and Madell 2003; Scull 2017). This is likely due, in part, to the fact that male strippers are more likely to be regarded as entertainers, while female strippers are often regarded as sexual deviants (Margolis and Arnold 1993; Montemurro et al. 2003).

While some studies of male strippers touch on their relationships, they do not discuss them extensively. In fact, most research on male performers concentrates on their interactions inside the strip club, instead of their relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. In terms of maintaining boundaries, the few studies that address this topic indicate that this may be easier for male dancers than it is for female dancers, as they are able to control who has access to their body (DeMarco 2007; Scull 2013; Tewksbury 1993).

Like other aspects of the toll of stripping, the ways in which exotic dance impacts male dancers’ self-definitions are scant (Calhoun et al. 1998; Dressel and Petersen 1982b; Margolis and Arnold 1993; Scull 2015). The few studies that discuss it suggest that both MDW (Scull 2015) and MDM (Tewksbury 1993, 1994) feel badly about themselves when they receive negative treatment from customers. However, more commonly, male strippers receive psychological benefits, such as an enhanced self-concept, from being an exotic dancer (Boden 2007; Calhoun et al. 1998; DeMarco 2002, 2007; Dressel and Petersen 1982b; Margolis and Arnold 1993; Scull 2015). For instance, Scull (2015) found that stripping led to increased feelings of mattering, mastery, and enhanced male dancers’ self-esteem.

This research speaks to some of the issues that male dancers face while on the job. However, these studies do not fully address male strippers’ subjective experiences as they relate to the toll of stripping. Given the gendered nature of sex work, it is important to explore whether male dancers face the same consequences as female dancers. In the paper that follows, I address the degree to which male strippers experience the toll of exotic dance by discussing each aspect of the toll presented above.

Setting and Methods

I used ethnographic methods and in-depth interviews for this research. I spent over 18 months conducting fieldwork at a strip club that I call “Dandelion’s,” which was located in the western region of the United States. While Dandelion’s primarily featured female strippers and catered to male patrons, on Friday and Saturday nights the management hired male strippers from a company I call “Erotic Sensations” to perform from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Although female dancers performed completely nude in a separate section of the club, male dancers were not permitted to dance nude.

Dandelion’s was dark and very loud. The air was usually thick with cigarette smoke accompanied by the occasional scent of cologne or perfume. The space contained four octagonal stages, two bars, and a large dance floor. Disco balls, strobe lights, and multicolored spotlights hung from the ceiling, and almost all of the walls were lined with mirrors. In the back of the club was a giant screen featuring either music videos or sporting events such as football games, basketball games, and Ultimate Fighter Championship matches.

The management at Dandelion’s regularly cultivated a fun, party-like atmosphere. For instance, the DJ cracked jokes, urged people to dance, and encouraged customers to let loose. He even poked fun at the managers by calling them “hornballs” or “perverts.” He would also yell things like, “Who in here is horny? Everyone should be horny right now! Scream if you’re horny!” to get customers excited. Dandelion’s also hosted a variety of themed activities, competitions, and events. For example, during the summer, they had a “Teeny Tiny Tan Line Contest” where the female customer with the most attractive tan was awarded US$100. They also featured a “Mullet Mayhem Trailer Trash Bash” where female patrons could win money for wearing the shortest “daisy duke” style shorts,¹ while men were encouraged to wear a mullet hairstyle. There were also events like the “Leather and Lace Fetish Party,” “Bikes, Babes, and Beer Night,” “Naked Dodgeball Night,” and “Midget Wrestling.”

Dandelion’s closely resembled what Bradley-Engen and Ulmer (2009) categorize as a “hustle club,” as employees regularly attempted to con customers into spending more than they had originally planned. Additionally, like other hustle clubs, some dancers used drugs, were subjected to sexual harassment, and stole from coworkers. However, Dandelion’s was also similar to what Bradley-Engen and Ulmer (2009:45) refer to as a “social club” because it was located in a blue-collar area and had a “good time” feeling. Like strip clubs in other research (Bradley-Engen and Ulmer 2009; Kaufman 2009), Dandelion’s had an atmosphere that was like the television show Cheers because, for many, it was not only a strip club but was also the local watering hole where people came to watch television and socialize.

Accompanying the homey atmosphere of Dandelion’s was the reputation of being run down and “low class.” Because it was one of the only clubs in the state that featured male dancers, it was a popular location for women to go for bachelorette and birthday parties. Nonetheless, many people scowled in disgust when talking about Dandelion’s as it had a reputation for being rundown and some people even described it as “a shithole.” Still, Dandelion’s was crowded on a regular basis. In fact, there were some nights when the establishment was so full that the bouncer had to restrict people from entering for fear of violating fire codes.

I attended Dandelion’s almost every Friday and Saturday night from September 2009 to March 2011. Overall, I observed 42 male dancers and engaged in over 60 informal conversations with male and female strippers, patrons, bartenders, cocktail waitresses, bouncers, doormen, cashiers, bussers, and managers. I received approval from the Institutional Review Board at Indiana University before beginning fieldwork and conducting interviews. Like many researchers who study exotic dance, I assumed the role of the “peripheral member” (Adler and Adler 1987) and, instead of sitting directly at the stage, I usually sat at a small table near one of the stages and did not actively tip. I introduced myself to dancers by approaching them as they were exiting the stage after a performance. To build rapport, I often conversed with them in areas of the club where other patrons were not allowed, such as the dressing room or the office, which was on the second floor of Dandelion’s. I was given access to these spaces by the manager of Dandelion’s when I initially introduced myself as a researcher and asked for permission to study the club.

In addition to field observations, I conducted 22 semistructured, in-depth interviews with men who were employed as strippers at the time of the research. Interviews lasted from 45 minutes to 4 hours. My interview schedule consisted of questions regarding embodiment, gender, relationships, and the self-concept. For instance, I asked participants, “Is male stripping different than female stripping?” “Do you ever feel like a ‘sex object’ while performing?” “Do you think people ever assume you are gay because you are a male stripper?” “What are the interactions with your female customers like?” “Do you ever hide your job from people you know?” and “Does stripping have a big influence on how you think of yourself overall?” to name a few.

Interviews were conducted in a private room in a variety of locations such as the respondent’s home, a hotel room, a library, an office, or the dressing room. I obtained written consent from all participants before each interview. I created pseudonyms for all of my respondents. I selected pseudonyms based on the type of name dancers gave themselves. These names were vastly different from one another, as some dancers selected more conventional names, while others picked ones that were more entertaining and sexual. If a dancer adopted a name that was conventional, I assigned him a conventional pseudonym such as “Scott” or “Rick.” However, if a dancer had a more entertaining stage name, I gave them a more elaborate pseudonym such as “Hercules” or “Stallion.”

Respondents’ ages ranged from 22 to 44 years, with a mean age of 32.5 years. This is older than the average age of female strippers, which is around 19 or 20 (Rambo-Ronai 1992). There were many levels of experience among my participants. Some had been stripping for as long as 22 years, while others had been dancing for only two weeks at the time of our interview. There were many ethnicities represented in my sample. Ten respondents identified as white and four identified as African American. The remaining participants described their ethnicity as Hawaiian, Hungarian, Laotian, Italian, Spanish, Latino, French and Native American, or Puerto Rican. All interviewees identified as heterosexual.

All interviews were recorded and transcribed in full. Because writing field notes would have been inconsistent with the norms at Dandelion’s, I used my cell phone to send myself text messages. Sending extensive field notes was not possible, so I texted partial sentences and key words to trigger my memory about specific events. I also carried a tape recorder in my car to record verbal field notes as I drove home. I then used the combination of my recordings and texts to write detailed field notes on my computer along with personal notes, methodological notes, and theoretical notes. I did not use any computer programs to analyze my data. Instead, I used a process similar to that described by Emerson, Fretz, and Shaw (1995). Specifically, I approached the data using gender as one of the four sensitizing concepts to identify significant themes. Next, I examined the data line-by-line in order to find patterns and similarities among responses while also searching for negative cases. Once I finished coding responses, I used memo writing to organize participants’ statements. This process enabled me to ground my interpretations in the perspectives and experiences of my respondents.

Male Strippers and the Toll of Exotic Dance

Below, I discuss the extent to which male exotic dancers experienced the toll of stripping, focusing specifically on the five aspects delineated above. Overall, I found that there were gendered differences in the toll of exotic dance, as the negative impact of the profession was significantly less pronounced for male performers compared to their female counterparts.

Interactions with Female Customers

Unlike female strippers, my participants generally had positive interactions with customers and shared stories about patrons with whom they had a good rapport, such as regulars and “sugar mamas.” Additionally, most male performers enjoyed the opportunity to have sexual interactions, such as oral or penetrative sex, with a number of customers. As I discuss below, one of the few challenges dancers faced while interacting with customers was performing emotional labor during instances when they were disgusted.

Regulars and sugar mamas

After visiting Dandelion’s for several months, I began to recognize repeat customers. These patrons are what Montemurro et al. (2003:345) refer to as “insiders” or what those in the service industry call “regulars.” Scott explained the benefit of having regulars:

They come in spurts. I’ve had one regular since my first week. She’s always been there, and I’m really good friends with her. She comes in once a month. I have regulars come in, but it’s not every week. You’ll see them for two weeks in a row, and then you won’t see them for like two or three weeks. It varies. But it’s really nice because it makes you feel…regulars are just really nice. It’s not just because of the money. Just seeing them makes you feel more comfortable on stage.

Although Scott mentioned that he had little concern for the money he earned from regulars, there were other dancers who focused on accumulating large sums of money from them. Regulars who could supply performers with substantial amounts of cash were known as “sugar mamas.” Heartthrob explained that one of his goals as a performer was to cultivate relationships with sugar mamas:

It’s always good to see those kinds of people because you make better money when you have a consistent customer base. You know you can get a lap dance from that person every time they come by. The ultimate goal is to get that one person…hopefully two or three…but at least that one person who just shells out all kinds of money for you. This doesn’t happen frequently, but these people are called sugar mamas. If you get a sugar mama, then you’re as good as gold.

Heartthrob talked about how lucrative relationships with sugar mamas could be:

She gave me so much money that I really didn’t have to dance for anyone else at all. She had a lot of money. It wasn’t her money though…it was her dad’s money. Her dad is probably the wealthiest person in the city where she’s from. She was the one that kept track of his accounts, so she had access to his money all of the time. It got to the point where she would drop about 400 bucks every time she came in to see me. Sometimes this would be twice a week. I didn’t even have to dance for anyone else…I would only dance for her.

My findings are similar to Dressel and Petersen’s (1982a:392) research on MDW, as they found that some dancers were “kept” by their customers who gave them gifts, clothing, jewelry, and large sums of money. Female dancers also have regulars (Bradley-Engen 2009; Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989), “sugar daddies,” (Erickson and Tewksbury 2000), and customers who fall in love with them (Egan 2006). However, unlike female dancers who receive diamonds, minks, cars, flowers (Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989), and even drugs (Lavin 2014) from customers, most of my participants did not receive gifts from patrons.

Sexual interactions with female customers

Not only did performers enjoy interacting with customers while onstage, many took pleasure in having sexual interactions with them both inside and outside of Dandelion’s. In particular, they emphasized the availability of sexual partners and the frequency with which they had sex with women they met while working. Hero expressed how stripping afforded him the opportunity to have a variety of sexual encounters whenever he desired. During our interview, he described a sexual rendezvous he had arranged for that evening:

If I wanted to bring somebody home every night, I could. I went out to lunch with two girls today that were here last night. I talked to them for a while and I just connected with them. Since I started stripping, I’ve been having threesomes. Once you’ve had threesomes, it’s hard to go back to regular sex. So I found these two girls that are best friends. I’m gonna try to work that angle, so all three of us can be friends (laughs). They’re actually in from out of town, and they’re staying at my house tonight.

Dandelion’s had once been a popular destination among swingers, which are couples who trade sexual partners. Although the club no longer catered to swingers at the time of my research, male dancers were often propositioned by couples for sex. Ace explained:

Yeah, we used to have a lot of couples try to take us home because this used to be a place for swingers. But we still get a lot of swingers here on Saturday. I’ve actually had a lot of girls approach me and ask me to have an open relationship. They ask me if their husband can watch us have sex and stuff like that. I’m like, “You know what? You’re awesome, but no” (laughs). I downplay it, you know, but without disrespecting them, because that’s their own business.

Sexual intercourse between dancers and patrons was forbidden at Dandelion’s. However, Heartthrob explained that many dancers violated this rule without facing any sanctions:

Some guys are going to chase more girls, be tonguing them, or telling them they want to sleep with them. Some take them out to the parking lot and actually have sex. I mean, they’ve done everything. I’ve seen guys get blow jobs while they’re doing lap dances several times…several times. It usually happens right there in the club. I’ve seen a guy get laid right there by the stage area. He just draped his jacket around his body, and the girl just lifted up her skirt for him. The customers could see it, and everybody was like, “Damn.” None of the managers at the club saw them. If they did, they didn’t say or do anything.

Dancers explained that some female patrons were eager to have a sexual encounter with dancers. For instance, Matt shared a story about a female customer who performed oral sex for all of the male dancers at Dandelion’s one night:

Brock came backstage and was like, “Dude, this girl just sucked my dick and swallowed my load.” Then another guy came back and he was like, “Dude this girl out there just sucked my dick and swallowed my load.” Then the third guy comes back and he was like, “Oh my God, this girl out there just sucked my dick and swallowed my load.” So we realized that this girl had come to the club and basically…and I know this sounds disgusting…but was just at the club to suck all these strippers off. She sucked off like four or five guys. But, that’s not that common. I mean, I’ve done that at bachelorette parties because back in the day we used to get away with it. You know, people thought it was cool.

Matt went on to describe how he often had sex with one or more women at bachelorette parties. He described one instance in particular:

Anyways, I went to this party one time and I did my thing, you know? I mean, I danced and I took the money. Then I took two girls in the shower. I just did them in there and I took my money. I mean, you pretty much get paid and get laid. You just take your money and you get it on with women all the time. And if anybody tells you that they haven’t, they’re lying. If you’re not getting laid, then why the hell would you be doing this job? Anybody that’s saying that they’re not getting laid is totally full of shit. Get laid, get paid, get attention.

In general, working at Dandelion’s presented dancers with countless opportunities to have sex with customers. In fact, the majority of participants acknowledged that they had sexual interactions, such as oral sex or coitus, with a patron at some point while working there. However, not all dancers wanted to have sex with customers. Aaron distinguished himself from other performers in this regard:

I consider myself to be one of the good ones about that. Like better about not doing it, because I am really trying to find a relationship. But I’d say that almost every single night the majority of the guys do hook up with a customer.

Despite the prevalence of sexual interactions with patrons, there was only one dancer who had sex in exchange for money. Prostitution was rare because the male strippers at Dandelion’s were willing to have sex with customers without receiving monetary compensation. When asked about prostitution Hercules said:

That doesn’t happen with the guys…they don’t get paid for sex. It’s more like, “Hey, we’ve connected on some kind of drunken level and let’s go have some fun.”

My findings are consistent with other research on male strippers that indicates acts of prostitution between customers and dancers are infrequent (Boden 2007; Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989; Tewksbury 1993, 1994). However, the research on prostitution among WDM reveals mixed findings. For instance, Barton (2007) found that female strippers are propositioned to sell sex, but few accept these offers. However, other research on WDM reveals that some dancers sell sex for money (Lavin 2014; Rambo-Ronai and Ellis 1989).

Emotional labor

Although most participants reported positive feelings toward their customers, some noted that they occasionally developed negative emotions toward them. In particular, there were times when dancers felt disgusted or irritated by women in the audience. Managing these feelings required dancers to perform emotional labor. Hochschild (1983:7) defines emotional labor as the “management of feeling to create a publicly observable facial and bodily display.” Dancers engaged in emotional labor when they masked their own feelings in order to effectively display the emotions that correspond to their occupational expectations. This involved restraining their genuine feelings of disgust and/or irritation in order to create and sustain a sexual mood. Those who study exotic dance often refer to this as “counterfeit intimacy,” as dancers must engage in fake or “counterfeit” displays of intimacy to earn money (Pasko 2002).

For instance, Scott talked about being disgusted by two regulars that he found unattractive. These regulars happened to be a mother and daughter:

This was a couple of months ago, but there were these regular girls who were just so unattractive to me. They were also pretty large. They would sit in the corner. It was actually a girl and her mom. It was very interesting. But they were just really unattractive. They were just huge…just very large, like spilling over the seats and stuff.

Hero explained that he was willing to endure personal discomfort in order to spare the feelings of female patrons. However, pretending to be attracted to what he considered to be homely and/or overweight customers eventually began to take a toll on him:

I do feel like I sacrifice myself when I’m dancing for somebody that I think is really not attractive. It sounds really bad, but something about it makes me feel disgusted. Like if somebody smells bad or something, like that really disgusts me. I hate saying it, but if somebody is just like enormously fat too. If they are really, really fat and they’re putting their hands on me, then it really grosses me out. I shouldn’t have to feel like that. I feel I’m forced to do it because I don’t want them to feel bad that I’m not dancing for them. I don’t want to hurt somebody else’s feelings, so I sacrifice myself so I don’t make her feel bad.

Blade did not work as hard as his coworkers to hide his emotions. In fact, his contempt for some female customers occasionally led him to express his true feelings:

There are the women that say to you, “Why don’t you smile?” I’m like, “I don’t feel like it.” I may be angry on stage. I may be tired. I’m not gonna start smiling and be something that I’m not. I’m not going to try to hide how I feel if I don’t feel good.

My participants are similar to female strippers (Barton 2007; Frank and Carnes 2010; Wood 2000) as well as female sex workers in general, as they too engage in emotional labor to maintain an atmosphere of professionalism (Chapkis 1997). While Frank (2002) found that some women like their regulars, Rambo-Ronai and Ellis (1989:296) note that, over time, they may become “disgusted” with customers who they view as “degenerates.” This also is the case for some MDM who characterize certain patrons as “old, ugly, gross, trolls, or unattractive” (Tewksbury 1994:325). Further, in her research on MDW, Clark (1985:53) found that some dancers tire of “kissing dirty old women.”

Stigmas

The next contributor to the toll of stripping is the stigmas to which dancers are exposed. As discussed above, female strippers often face a variety of severe stigmas and negative reactions (Barton 2006, 2017; Dressel and Petersen 1982a; Skipper and McCaghy 1978). Unlike the women discussed in this research, I found that male strippers only experienced three stigmas. First, participants faced general reactions of shock and disgust when they revealed they were a dancer to others. These negative reactions stemmed from the fact that stripping is considered a form of “dirty work” (Hughes 1951) or work that society considers unethical, obscene, or disgusting, such as being a veterinary technician (Sanders 2010), a refuse collector, a street cleaner (Simpson, Hughes, and Slutskaya 2016), or working in a sex shop (Tyler 2011). When Caleb revealed to his friends that he was a stripper, they were shocked and did not believe him initially. Once they realized that he was serious, they teased him and jokingly threatened to visit him at work:

All my friends were like, “You’re not working and it’s a Friday, so let’s all go out.” I was like, “Whoa, I can’t. I’m working at the strip club.” They were like, “Are you a bouncer?” I was like, “No, I’m a stripper.” They all started laughing and laughing, and I’m sitting there with a straight face. They were like, “Seriously Caleb, what do you do there?” I was like, “I’m a stripper.” They said, “Oh my God, we’re gonna come see you on Friday night.”

The second stigma performers experienced was being the targets of what Pascoe (2012) calls the “fag discourse.” The fag discourse is similar to what Thorne and Luria (1986) call “fag talk,” which are statements that elementary school students use to insult their peers. Individuals use the fag discourse to punish one another for violating gender norms but not necessarily to stigmatize those with the same-sex interests and desires. In other words, it is not usually applied to insult one’s sexuality but instead to regulate masculinity. Of course, the ways in which individuals use homosexually themed language is complicated (McCormick 2011). Therefore, although those who draw upon the fag discourse often claim they are not intending to stigmatize or denigrate those with the same-sex desires, others use it to intentionally disparage homosexuality.

Both seasoned and newer dancers were familiar with the fag discourse. For instance, Butta explained that, before he began working at Dandelion’s, a family member warned him that others would mock him as being “gay” for being a stripper:

One cousin was like, “Ya know, some people might call you gay. And I was like, “I think its guys that would be the ones to be like, ‘you’re gay.’” I really just think it’s because they’re mad because women actually come to see me and pay me. Instead of me coming to see them, they’re coming up to me. So a lot of people think of strip clubs and they automatically think that it’s “gay” (he makes quotes signs in the air). But there are women that people don’t even know about that love strip clubs. They love seeing men in different fantasies.

Some dancers experienced a third stigma that was similar to, but slightly different from, the fag discourse. Specifically, some were what Becker (1963) calls “falsely accused deviants.” Falsely accused deviants are individuals who do not engage in the deviant behavior in question, but they acquire the deviant label nonetheless. Dancers were falsely accused deviants when others labeled them as gay despite the fact that none identified as such. Further, like the instances when they were subjected to the fag discourse, when others categorized them as homosexual, it was done in a pejorative fashion. However, being a falsely accused deviant was different than being a target of the fag discourse because when others called dancers “gay” they were not only attacking their masculinity, they truly believed that they had same-sex interests. Matt explained that being asked about his sexuality was a common occurrence:

I think that might be in the women’s circle or something, I don’t know. But, I’ve actually had a lot of women come up and be like, “So are all of you guys gay?” And my answer is like, “I don’t think any of the dancers here are gay because if they were, then they would be over at Man Mania making a lot more money.”²

My participants occasionally used specific techniques in order to avoid stigmas, particularly those of shock and disgust. For instance, dancers engaged in what Goffman (1963) calls “passing.” Passing involves controlling the information surrounding one’s stigma in order to conceal it. It often includes what Goffman (1963:59) refers to as “dividing the social world.” This is when a person partitions their “world into a large group to whom [they] tell nothing, and a small group to whom [they] tell all” (Goffman 1963:95). Dividing the social world was particularly common for dancers who had children. For example, Heartthrob explained the importance of hiding his occupation from his young kids:

My daughters don’t know about it. I’ve never talked about it in front of my kids. Thankfully, I waited a long time to have them and I’m at the end of my rope with dancing, so maybe they’ll never find out…at least until they become adults. I just want to hide it from them because I don’t think it’s something a child needs to know at their tender age. It’s something that is adult material, you know? When they become mature enough to deal with or handle something like that, then it will be the time for them to know.

Although some participants attempted to conceal their occupation from their family, the majority of dancers explained that their family members knew about their job and were supportive of it. In fact, exotic dance presented few problems for their familial relationships. For instance, Caleb’s parents encouraged him to become a stripper and even came to Dandelion’s to watch his performances:

It was their idea, so they’re pretty cool about it. The other guys were freaking out and were like, “Who are those people over there?” I’m like, “Uh, that’s my mom and dad over there.” It was their idea to come. My mom and dad are super cool. They’re the coolest people that you could ever meet, and they just wanted to come to see.

Pierce also indicated that his mother had attended his performances:

My own mom has seen my shows. At revues she’s had front row seats.³ I wanted my mom to know that what I’m doing is classy, respectable, and there’s nothing wrong with it. At the end of the show she was like, “Baby, I don’t care if you dance for the rest of your life, because I saw what you’re doing.”

Scott mentioned that his mother not only accepted his occupation, but she was proud that her son was an exotic dancer:

She just thinks it’s really great. She is really excited that she has a good-looking son and is proud that she has a son who can do this. She’s so proud that she brags to her friends. I was just over there the other day helping one of her friends move. It was a bunch of old, church-going people. She said, “Everyone, this is Scott and he’s a stripper.” I was like, “Fuck, why did you have to say that? You don’t have to introduce me as a stripper.” I mean, I don’t want to be all narcissistic about it.

Overall, my participants faced fewer stigmas for being an exotic dancer compared to female strippers. However, like WDM, there were instances when they divided their social world in an attempt to pass around certain family members and to avoid any negative reactions their occupation might solicit.

Romantic Relationships

As discussed above, research on female exotic dancers suggests that stripping has the potential to cause problems for their romantic and sexual relationships. While my participants did not experience as many problems as WDM, they did talk about the ways in which stripping affected their romantic and sexual lives. In particular, dancers mentioned their partners’ feelings of jealousy, problems finding potential partners, and difficulty being faithful to their partner.

Feelings of jealousy

All of my participants were dating, married to, or had been in a relationship with a female stripper at some point in their lives. Ten of the 22 participants were in a relationship with a female dancer at the time of our interview. Caleb was one of these participants. He indicated that his girlfriend often expressed feelings of jealousy:

I have a girlfriend who’s also a stripper, and she hates the fact that I’m stripping. It’s like, it’s okay for her, but it’s not okay for me. She’ll never even come here. She hates it.

Preston told me that his current girlfriend often expressed annoyance and jealousy since he started stripping:

I’m dating a girl right now, and she doesn’t care too much for it. She said she respects it, but that she would never get serious with a male stripper. I’ve heard that from a lot of girls. I think they’re concerned with cheating, or you meeting someone that you are interested in, or having a one-night stand. It’s not so much the dancing or taking your clothes off, but what the repercussions could be from doing the job.

Although most participants highlighted the problems their partners’ jealousy presented, Sex Machine felt that these feelings played a positive role in his relationship. Specifically, he noted that jealousy motivated his girlfriend to keep her body in shape and prevented her from becoming “complacent:”

It challenges whoever I am with. It helps them become a stronger person. They become more secure in themselves because of what they had to work through in the relationship with me. Some females can be self-conscious about their own bodies. I mean, as time goes on and the years go by, she may be gaining weight here and there. Then they look at you and say, “He’s really good looking and he’s a good worker.” Then they think to themselves, “Am I still holding up?” So it’s positive because it keeps the female on her toes. The woman starts to take advantage of the man as she starts to get complacent. I think it creates a healthy relationship.

While my participants were occasionally aggravated by their partner’s jealousy, this was not as problematic compared to the negative treatment female dancers receive from jealous partners (Barton 2007, 2017). For instance, Barton (2017) found that, although most WDM do not have sex with customers, the demands of the job such as flirting, dancing, and generally presenting themselves as sexually available lead some men to become possessive and envious. Jealousy is also an issue for female strippers in lesbian relationships, as their partner may become jealous of other female dancers at the club (Barton 2017). In fact, jealousy can be such an issue that some WDM remain single for several years.

Problems finding potential partners

Like other research on MDW (Clark 1985), I found that working at Dandelion’s had the potential to benefit strippers’ sexual and romantic lives by providing them with ample opportunities to meet women. However, some dancers explained that being a stripper limited their ability to develop serious, long-term relationships. Scott indicated this was because most women did not want to date someone that worked in a strip club:

There were two incidences where I was dating someone, and I kept it from them just so that they could know me without thinking, “Oh, he’s a stripper.” Then I told them a week later that I’m a stripper. The two of them were totally fine with it. Then a weekend goes by and they want me to hang out with them on a Friday or Saturday. I had to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m at the club.” Then they say, “I can’t handle it. Just knowing all these women are rubbing up on you all night. I just can’t do it.”

Like Scott, Aaron worried that women might not want to begin a relationship with him if they knew he was an exotic dancer:

Maybe someone out there that could possibly be a girlfriend or a wife would look down on me because I stripped, you know? It’s just, you know, I don’t see any problem with it personally. I know a lot of female strippers, and I think good and bad and things about them. It’s not really a big deal to me, but to some people it might be.

Other dancers were less concerned with the potential threat stripping posed for their dating lives because they limited their romantic and sexual circle to those who were accepting of exotic dance. Hercules said:

I wouldn’t date someone that would have a problem with it. Even though I may find somebody attractive, that’s not going to overwhelm the fact that I need them to understand that this is a job. As long as I’m being truthful, it shouldn’t be an issue, so there’s nothing to hide.

Hercules is similar to some WDM who restrict their dating pool to those who are more accepting of exotic dance, such as insiders who also work in the sex work industry and/or strip clubs (Bradley-Engen 2007).

Difficulty being faithful to partners

Some dancers, such as Matt, conveyed that being a stripper made it difficult to be faithful to their wife or girlfriend:

I’ve cheated on all of my girlfriends. We have all cheated on girlfriends. I might as well be honest about stuff. I don’t know what other people said, but it’s true. All these guys have done it. If you’re gonna be in this job, you need to be single. If you have a girl, it’s gonna cause problems. Even if you don’t cheat on her, it’s still gonna cause problems because you have women rubbing all over you and stuff. It’s just not something that most women want their man doing.

Rick also found it challenging to remain committed to his girlfriend:

There are times when I’m a complete chump in terms of honoring a relationship. I just decided in my own life that there’s a certain line that I can’t across, and I’ve crossed it. It could be something like where a party gets out of control, and I have sex at a party. I don’t have to go back and see those people and so I do stuff like that…just getting my own rocks off. I feel guilty when I do that.

These findings contrast with the research on female strippers which suggests that most do not have sex with customers (Barton 2017). However, because the job demands that women feign sexual interest in patrons, their partners often feel as though they are violating the expectations of monogamy and accuse them of cheating (Bradley-Engen 2007). Further, their partners often feel humiliated and emasculated by having a mate who strips and may use specific techniques such as name-calling to induce feelings of guilt and shame. Accusations of cheating and the general disrespect WDM experience lead some to agree with their partner’s point of view and come to believe that they are unworthy and unfaithful (Bradley-Engen 2007).

Overall, as is the case with female strippers, my participants indicated that exotic dance presented problems for their romantic relationships. However, these challenges were not nearly as severe for male dancers as they are for female performers. In fact, most of my participants felt that, despite these challenges, working at Dandelion’s had improved their dating and sexual lives. Further, my participants were not subjected to verbal insults such as “slut” (Bradley-Engen 2007:389) and “whore” (Barton 2017:101) from their mate(s).

Boundaries

As discussed above, one of the significant aspects of the toll for female dancers is negotiating boundaries with customers while performing. Unlike WDM, my participants rarely had trouble establishing and maintaining boundaries with patrons. However, there were instances when dancers were subjected to slaps, pinches, pokes, and other forms of physical abuse. Nonetheless, for the most part, performers were in control of their interactions with customers. In fact, I often witnessed dancers, rather than patrons, engage in forms of aggressive touching. This included groping and grabbing customers, making customers grab dancers or themselves in a sexual fashion, and holding women in ways that rendered them physically powerless.

Although touching women in this manner was against club policies, dancers continued to engage in these acts without regard. In fact, I observed them touch women in sexually forceful ways so frequently that I was surprised to learn that these behaviors violated the rules. Dandelion’s “official” policy was that male dancers were required to remain at least 6 inches away from customers, have 50 percent of their body on the stage at all times, and keep their groin at least 12 inches away from the customer’s face. The rules also forbade dancers from kissing patrons on the mouth, touching their breasts or crotch, simulating sexual acts (such as humping the stage), grabbing customers by the head or neck, or simulating fellatio. Ostensibly, violating these rules would result in both the stripper and the patron being expelled from the club. Nonetheless, my participants violated these rules on a regular basis. Scott explained:

We’re not supposed to simulate any sort of sexual act. We’re not supposed to hump someone’s face, or take a girl’s head and make it look like she’s giving us head, or bend a girl over and act like we’re fucking her from behind. So there are those types of things that we are supposed to get in trouble for, but we don’t. I mean, that stuff happens all the time.

Matt stated that it was normative for both dancers and patrons to engage in behaviors that were supposedly forbidden by club management. To illustrate his point, he described an incident that occurred a few weeks prior to our interview:

Two girls came up to my stage and they were hot. And they really liked me too. So, one of the girls puts her feet on the stage. She’s wearing a skirt and I see that she’s not wearing any panties. And when I look, I see her friend’s finger in her crotch fingering her. I mean, we have rules against stuff like that, but there are ways to get away with it. It doesn’t happen as much as it used to. I remember way back when…I remember just taking girls upstairs and fucking them.

Dancers were rarely sanctioned for violating rules because bouncers and management usually ignored the side of the club where men performed. Further, although there were cameras placed strategically throughout Dandelion’s, they did little to deter dancers from breaking the rules. In fact, the only “punishment” male performers received from engaging in forbidden sexual acts with customers was that they were prohibited from interacting with patrons in private areas of the club, such as the lap dance room or areas that were roped off. Aside from this minor sanction, the management of Dandelion’s rarely enforced club policies or meted out punishments when dancers violated them. This is similar to the rules that operate at strip clubs featuring female dancers, as management often ignores rule violations, particularly those that maximize profits and are not considered to be detrimental to the club’s “bottom line” (Lavin 2013:368).

Self-Esteem

While stripping occasionally presented threats to dancers’ sense of self, overall, performing at Dandelion’s greatly enhanced their self-views. This was because dancers enjoyed the objectification they experienced and reactions from female patrons made them feel good about their body. Overall, the positive attention they received from patrons increased their confidence. Aaron explained that being desired by more than one woman at a time made him feel good about himself:

When you find that you are the object of somebody’s affection, even if it’s just lust…not just one, but multiple females…it’s a really good feeling. It makes you feel really good. So I usually feel really good after I’m done performing.

Some dancers had become so accustomed to receiving attention from female customers that they felt discombobulated when they were expected to approach women outside of Dandelion’s. Aaron was one such dancer:

That’s one of the things that’s happened…when I go out to regular public clubs I feel like I’m way out of place because I don’t have the attention that I’m so used to having at the strip club. So it feels really strange. It’s weird, but it’s the attention…here you don’t have to go look for it, it comes to you.

The vast majority of my respondents reported they had developed a more positive self-esteem since becoming a stripper. Most often, this was the result of receiving flattering comments from female patrons. Preston explained:

Some females offer me money to take me home. It’s flattering. They say that I’m sexy and comment on my body. I’ve questioned things about my body, but the women may look at it differently…so it’s flattering. Like, I broke a lot of my teeth out because of ice hockey, so I’m kinda self-conscious about my teeth. But people tell me that I have a beautiful smile. So there are those sorts of things that you might be more concerned about, and when they comment on those things, it helps build your self-esteem. I think I have more confidence about my body since dancing.

My participants are similar to MDW who also experience an “ego trip” while stripping (Dressel and Petersen 1982a:393) as well as WDM who report a sense of pride while dancing (Skipper and McCaghy 1971; Sweet and Tewksbury 2000).

Discussion and Conclusion

The bulk of the research on the impact of stripping focuses on female performers. The ways in which the profession affects male dancers has received little attention from academics. Here, I explore the extent to which male performers were negatively impacted by the same factors that contribute to the toll as discussed by Barton. Exploring the ways in which male dancers experience their profession is important, as it helps us understand some of the gendered aspects of exotic dance and how the occupation affects male and female performers differently. Overall, I found that the negative impact of the profession was significantly less pronounced for male performers compared to their female counterparts.

The difference in the consequences of stripping for men compared to women is a reflection of the patriarchal privilege that men experience and is the result of the sexual double standard (SDS) that exists in the United States. The SDS refers to the phenomenon where women are devalued and stigmatized for expressing an interest in sex (Montemurro, Bartasavich, and Wintermute 2015) and for engaging in the same sexual acts as men (Marks and Fraley 2005). Generally, men are expected to be active, dominant, and even aggressive initiators of sexual interactions (Fasula, Carry, and Miller 2014) while women are expected to be passive, receptive (Montemurro et al. 2015), gatekeepers (Fasula et al. 2014) who regularly engage in “scripted refusals” when they are the target of sexual advances (Muehlenhard and McCoy 1991:449). Male exotic dancers benefit from the SDS, as their presentation of their sexual selves in the public context of a strip club was largely rewarded rather than punished, as “the right to be sexual remains the domain of men” (Montemurro et al. 2015:154). This was evidenced in a variety of ways which I discuss below.

First, unlike female dancers who tire of the poor treatment they receive from customers (Barton 2006, 2007, 2017), most of my participants genuinely enjoyed their interactions with female patrons, particularly regulars and sugar mamas. Additionally, dancers reveled in the opportunity to meet a variety of women and have sexual encounters with them. Although flirting and having sex with customers was not what initially drew my participants to the job, it quickly became many dancers’ favorite aspect of the occupation. Male strippers faced few reprisals for having sex with customers due to the SDS that rewards and bestows popularity upon men for having casual sex with multiple partners (Kreager and Staff 2009; Milhausen and Herold 1999). In short, rather than taking a toll on dancers, their interactions with customers were seen as a perk and a point of pride.

My findings are consistent with other research that suggests MDW enjoy the career for the opportunity to meet sexual partners (Clark 1985; Dressel and Petersen 1982a, 1982b; Montemurro et al. 2003). However, my findings contrast with the studies of female strippers, as they are not typically attracted to customers (Barton 2007) and rarely use their occupation for sexual gratification. In fact, some studies suggest that the mistreatment female dancers receive from male patrons has negative social psychological consequences and that some dancers become so accustomed to such treatment that they begin to believe they are deserving of it (Barton 2007).

Second, unlike female dancers who face a variety of stigmas, male dancers received fewer negative reactions. Further, these stigmas were not as extreme or far-reaching as those faced by female dancers who often internalize the negative opinions others hold of them (Bell et al. 1998; Lavin 2017; Skipper and McCaghy 1970, 1971). The gendered differences regarding dancers’ experiences with stigmas can be attributed to the discrepancy in expectations regarding the sexual behavior of women compared to men, as women’s sexuality is often policed, surveilled (Montemurro et al. 2015), and judged harshly. In fact, when women are perceived to openly express their sexuality they are likely to receive a bad reputation and are often the recipients of negative labels such as “slut” (Muehlenhard and McCoy 1991:449), “whore,” “skank,” or “hoebag” (Farvid, Braun, and Rowney 2017:555-56). These labels become more intense for women who are exotic dancers as the SDS dictates that men, but not women, are allowed to engage in open, public displays of sexuality (Montemurro et al. 2015).

Third, as is often the case for WDM, exotic dance presented some problems for male performers’ romantic relationships. However, it also improved their sexual and romantic lives as it provided them with numerous opportunities to meet potential partners. Overall, the problems my participants faced in their relationships were not nearly as detrimental as the variety of issues female dancers report. For instance, some female performers develop a reduced sex drive as a result of stripping. This can make their partner angry and jealous, as they believe their mate is willing to give sexual attention to strangers, but not to someone with whom they are in a committed relationship (Barton 2017). This sentiment is a reflection of the SDS which dictates that women provide sexual attention only in the context of a loving (Fasula et al. 2014), committed, monogamous relationship (Milhausen and Herold 1999), while men are expected to give sexual attention to multiple partners and to be unfaithful (Crawford and Popp 2003).

Fourth, unlike female dancers who have difficulty establishing boundaries with male customers, this was not a problem for my participants. Of course, like other male strippers, my participants experienced mistreatment at the hands of customers (Dressel and Petersen 1982a, 1982b; Petersen and Dressel 1982; Tewksbury 1993, 1994). Nonetheless, like other male dancers (Tewksbury 1993), they were generally in control of their interactions with women at the club. In fact, it was often male performers rather than female customers who violated physical and personal boundaries. I regularly witnessed my participants grab and subdue women in ways that appeared to render them powerless, confused, and embarrassed. Dancers were able to handle female customers with ease as their physical prowess and the symbolic dominance ascribed to them as men granted them more freedom to control women in the audience.

My findings are consistent with other research that indicates male dancers exercise power and control over female patrons and are easily able to physically manipulate them (Margolis and Arnold 1993; Montemurro 2006). This also is in line with research on MDM (DeMarco 2007; Tewksbury 1993), which suggests that dancers control who has access to their body. As Tewksbury (1993:174) notes, male strippers are not “…merely objects available for the taking, as might be expected with female strippers.”

Lastly, the impact that stripping had on dancers’ self-esteem was much different for male performers than it is for the female dancers discussed in other research, as the vast majority of my participants developed an enhanced self-concept as a result of stripping. In fact, while a few of my respondents cited other reasons for staying in the career such as enjoying the lifestyle and being able to spend time with coworkers, most of them continued to strip because it provided an avenue through which their self-concept could be enhanced.

My findings contrast with research on female dancers’ self-concepts. Although there are studies that suggest being objectified can be positive for female dancers’ self-views (Ryan and Martin 2001), these feelings begin to wane for strippers who have been in the occupation for many years (Barton 2006, 2017). This is due, in large part, to the stigmas to which they are exposed. These stigmas are the result of the SDS, as women who openly display their sexuality and/or present themselves as desirous or sexual (as female strippers are required to do while performing) are often seen as abnormal, damaged, and as having emotional problems (Farvid et al. 2017). They may also be labeled as lacking self-control, as having a disregard for safety and hygiene (Fjaer, Pedersen, and Sandberg 2015), and as having a “diseased” or “marked” body (Hess, Menegatos, and Savage 2015). Female dancers often internalize these labels which, in turn, has a negative impact on their self-views (Barton 2006, 2017; Lavin 2017).

Overall, my findings demonstrate how gender can serve as a protective mechanism for male dancers, as the toll was significantly less severe for my participants compared to their female counterparts. In fact, I found that exotic dance was a highly enjoyable and rewarding occupation for the majority of my participants. Like other male strippers, they found the job to be fun and entertaining (Bernard et al. 2003; Dressel and Petersen 1982a) and some performers indicated that they enjoyed stripping so much that they would do it for free.

My findings make a contribution to the growing body of literature on male sex workers by extending the discussion to an underresearched population. Overall, my research highlights that the experiences of exotic dancers can be contingent upon social identity categories such as gender. Additionally, my findings support other researcher’s claims that the experiences of male sex workers are polymorphous and diverse (Castañeda 2014). My research contrasts with the more problem-oriented literature on male sex workers, such as male prostitutes, which often focuses on the pathologies, diseases, and other problems they experience such as drug use, violence (Hubbard 1999; Minichiello et al. 1999), mental health issues (Koken and Bimbi 2014), and exploitation (Bimbi 2007). Although these are the important areas of inquiry, my research suggests that we should also devote attention to other aspects of their experiences, as sex work is not always oppressive, damaging, or exploitative.

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: Support for this study was provided by a Student Research Grant Award from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

Notes

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