Reflections on Appearance Socialization During Childhood and Adolescence

Social learning theory

Individuals’ experiences with socialization can be through direct (e.g., verbal instruction) as well as indirect (e.g., modeling) methods. According to social learning theory, modeling involves observing other’s behaviors (i.e., the model) and forming ideas about new behaviors without actually engaging in them. Not all observed behaviors are imitated or adopted. There are criteria that individuals use, which influence whether they actually emulate the behaviors they observe. One criterion is the amount of attention the model attracts (Bandura, 1977). One of the major determinants of attention is the frequency of contact with the model. The more contact an observer has with a model, the more likely the behaviors of the model are imitated. Thus, one could expect that appearance management behaviors modeled by family members early in life could influence young children and other family members or that those behaviors modeled by teachers later in life could influence students due to the high amount of contact.

Another influence on attention is the degree of power and nurturance of the model. Individuals who are perceived as possessing power by the observer or who provide support and advice to the observer are more likely to be attended to and consequently imitated than those who do not. Attention is also influenced by how similar the model is to the observer. Models that are similar are more likely to be attended to and imitated than dissimilar models (Bandura, 1977). Similarities could be based on a variety of characteristics including gender, age, ethnicity, or shared interests. Thus, within a family context, one could expect that parents and other important caregivers (e.g., grandparents, day care workers) serve as models for children because they are powerful and provide support. Older siblings may also be models for younger children within a household for the same reasons. Mothers may be more important models to daughters than sons because of shared characteristics (e.g., gender, interests; Sutton-Smith & Rosenberg, 1970). Similarly, in a school setting teachers may be models for their students because they also exert power and support. They may also be attended to because of the social rewards they can provide.

A final criterion influencing whether an observed behavior is copied is the observer’s motivation to engage in the behavior. Observed behaviors that result in vicarious reinforcement by important others are more likely to be copied than behaviors that are not reinforced because the reinforcement increases the observer’s motivation to engage in the behavior. Reinforcement can take the form of direct praise or compliments by important others (Brody, Stoneman, & McCoy, 1992; Kowal & Kramer, 1997; McHale, Updergraff, Jackson-Newsom, Tucker, & Crouter, 2000). Within a family context, parents might reinforce the appearance management behaviors of their children through compliments. Gillen and Lefkowitz (2009) found that young adults credited family members as a dominant source of positive comments about their appearance. A similar process may occur in a school context with teachers.

While it is evident that parents and adults exert an influence on children and adolescents, the opposite is also the case (Bell & Harper, 1977). As children mature they are also likely to interact with their parents and influence their parents’ beliefs about appearance. Of particular importance to the appearance management of parents may be information from children about fashion trends. Conversations about how to appear and what to wear can result in consensus between parents and their children or may result in conflict that needs to be negotiated or resolved.

Group socialization theory

Group socialization theory emphasizes the significant influence of peer groups on socialization during adolescence (Harris, 1995). As adolescents mature, they detach or separate from the influence of adult models and shift attention to others they perceive to be similar to them; subsequently, they take on the behaviors of those individuals. During this stage of development, it is peers who act as a source of behavioral standards, and it is acceptance by peers that is important (Arnon, Shamai, & Ilatov, 2008; Ata et al., 2007). Appearance management behaviors and the rules that guide them may reflect conformity to a group of peers and be sustained by forces that transmit group norms and promote loyalty to the group (Arnon et al., 2008). Adherence to the standards of peers may also serve as a source of conflict between parents and adolescents.

Conflict resolution

A few researchers have focused on the resolution of parent–child conflicts. Kurdek (1994) and Branje, Doorn, Valk, and Meeus (2009) identified five conflict resolution styles in parent and adolescent relationships: positive problem solving, conflict engagement, withdrawal, compliance, and exit. Positive problem solving consists of compromising conflicts by understanding each other’s positions and by using constructive reasoning tactics. An example could be if a parent and adolescent were arguing over whether the teenager could get an inked tattoo, the parent might suggest the adoption of a temporary tattoo (e.g., henna) to experience the effect of having a tattoo without the permanence of ink. Conflict engagement is actively engaging in the conflict by being verbally angry, attacking, and abusive. Continuing with our example, the parent and adolescent may simply keep arguing over getting the tattoo. Withdrawal is avoiding the problem and becoming distant. Applied to our example, the adolescent simply avoids the parent and does not discuss the desire to have a tattoo. Compliance is accepting the other person’s position without asserting one’s own position. In this instance, the teenager does not get a tattoo and follows the directive of the parent. Exit involves ending all contact without resolving the conflict. Stronger than withdrawal, exit would involve ending the relationship over this issue. Researchers have documented that conflict engagement, withdrawal, and exit as conflict resolution styles increase risk for involvement in delinquent behaviors by adolescents. In contrast, positive problem solving decreases the risk of delinquent behaviors (Rubenstein & Feldman, 1993; Sanders, Dadds, Johnson, & Cash, 1992; Van Doorn, Branje, & Meeus, 2008).

Family member influences on appearance management

A dominant appearance rule within U.S. society and one that is globalizing (Brewis, Wutich, Falletta-Cowden, & Rodriguez-Soto, 2011) is that it is better to be thin than fat as thin people are linked with positive attributes such as health, beauty, and intelligence (Caputi, 1983), while fat people are linked with negative attributes such as ugliness, undesirability, and laziness (de Vries, 2007; Grogan & Richards, 2002). Correspondingly, researchers have documented that family members, especially parents, use various means to encourage dieting and exercise in their children either to lose weight or to maintain an appropriate weight (Benedikt et al., 1998; Moreno & Thelen, 1993; Ogle & Damhorst, 2000, 2003; Pike & Rodin, 1991; Thelen & Cormier, 1995). Striegel-Moore and Kearney-Cook (1994) found that parents who dieted were likely to encourage their children to diet. In subsequent research, Thelen and Cormier (1995) also found both mothers and fathers encouraged their grade school children to manage their weight. However, both daughters and sons indicated that their mothers encouraged weight control more than their fathers did. Levine, Smolak, and Hayden (1994) reported that weight management behaviors of adolescents were connected to experiences with weight-related teasing and criticism by family members.

While both mothers and fathers may be influential in appearance management behaviors related to weight, in areas of appearance management other than weight control, Striegel-Moore and Kearney-Cook (1994) reported that more mothers than fathers shared that they had done “something” to improve their child’s appearance. Additionally, mothers reported praising their children about their appearance as well as being pressured by others to improve their child’s appearance more than did fathers. These researchers also found that parents’ evaluation of their children varied depending on the age of the child. The researchers noted that adolescents received the least amount of praise, were the targets of the most criticism from parents, and were the targets of most efforts to change appearance.

Mothers in particular are an important source of influence on daughters’ appearance management behaviors. Mothers are typically viewed as the appearance gatekeepers of the family (Smetana, 1988; Striegel-Moore & Kearney-Cook, 1994) and have reported feeling social pressure by others to improve their child’s appearance (Striegel-Moore & Kearney-Cook, 1994). Evidence that interaction about appearance occurs between mothers and daughters comes from Liechty, Freeman, and Zabriskie (2006) who found mothers and daughters shared beliefs about appearance. In addition, it is mothers who likely serve as role models or actively encourage specific appearance management behaviors in their daughters. Paxton et al. (1991) found that adolescent girls who reported having a mother who dieted were likely to diet themselves. Benedikt, Wertheim, and Love (1998) found daughters’ moderate weight-loss attempts and body dissatisfaction were significantly linked to mothers actively encouraging their daughters to lose weight. Additionally, they reported that daughters who engaged in extreme weight-loss behaviors (e.g., fasting, skipping meals, crash dieting) often had mothers who used these same methods to manage their weight. In earlier research, Pike and Rodin (1991) found mothers of adolescent girls with high levels of bulimic symptomatology reported dieting and more disordered eating attitudes than did mothers of daughters with low levels of bulimic symptomatology. Subsequently, Moreno and Thelen (1993) reported that mothers of bulimics encouraged their daughters to exercise and diet and tried to restrict their food intake as methods of weight control.

Focusing specifically on the processes of reciprocal socialization concerning their bodies between mothers and daughters, Ogle and Damhorst (2000) interviewed 20 mother–adolescent daughter pairs. These researchers noted that in some instances mothers did serve as models for their daughters’ dieting behaviors. Mothers who had used dieting to control weight or to change their appearance (i.e., modify shape) often had daughters who were short-term dieters as well. Conversely, mothers who had never dieted had daughters who did not diet. However, Ogle and Damhorst (2003) pointed out that modeling alone may be insufficient to predict the dieting behavior of daughters. They reported that daughters who were serious dieters had mothers who were not chronic dieters. What these daughters did have, however, were mothers who encouraged them to lose weight. They concluded that their findings highlighted the role of verbal reinforcement in determining whether a behavior by another is modeled.

Even though there is a body of research that points to the influence of mothers on their daughters’ appearance management behaviors, especially the management of weight, some researchers have not found that daughters model their mothers’ weight-related concerns or behaviors. For example, Thelen and Cormier (1995) found no relationship between mothers’ and daughters’ concerns about weight and weight-related activities. In earlier research, Moreno and Thelen (1993) found bulimic undergraduates had mothers who did not demonstrate disordered eating behaviors.

Media influences on appearance management behaviors

The media as a socialization agent has received considerable research attention. In various forms, the mass media transmit messages regarding the desirability and undesirability of certain appearances (Chowdhary, 2006, 2011; Ricciardelli, McCabe, & Banfield, 2000). Because some appearances are preferred over others and featured in the media, we argue that the media is a source of appearance management rules. For example, women featured in magazine advertisements are almost exclusively one body type (i.e., thin). As a result of only thin women being featured, this body type could be interpreted as an expectation or rule for women (i.e., women should be thin) that shapes appearance management behaviors (i.e., I must manage my behaviors to be thin or to look thin).

Adolescents in particular seek out magazines, internalize the messages presented, and use the media as a source of information about how to appear as well as how to improve their appearance (Littleton & Ollendick, 2003). For example, Adomaitis and Johnson (2008) found that young adult women were influenced by the media. These young women reported using models in advertisements as a point of comparison. Most of these women either aspired to have the physical characteristics depicted by the models or commented on their inability to achieve those characteristics.

Members of the community and their influence on appearance management

A few researchers have indicated that school environments are an important context for learning about appearance (Evans, Rich, & Holroyd, 2004; Gillen & Lefkowitz, 2009). For example, Evans, Rich, and Holroyd (2004) found in their research with adolescent girls in the United Kingdom that school coaches encouraged some girls to lose weight to improve their performance in sports. Gillen and Lefkowitz (2009) conducted a study aimed at determining what appearance messages young adults received from parents, peers, school, and the media. The message that appearance was important was noted frequently by participants. Other messages identified included that one should exercise, meet the ideal for one’s sex, look presentable/respectable/clean, limit accessories, wear fashion that is “in,” eat healthy, and avoid being fat. Some participants noted that appearance was not that important, but rather it was what was inside or one’s health that was important. Even though parents, peers, and the media were frequently credited as the sources of appearance messages, 75% of the study’s participants identified their school as an important setting for learning about expectations for appearance.

How does socialization concerning appearance management occur?

Ogle and Damhorst (2003) utilized their mother–daughter interview data to document how mothers and daughters communicated with each other about the body and its management. The most common method of interaction about body-related behaviors between mothers and daughters was direct verbal communication. The authors also identified three other approaches to communication about body-related issues. These approaches were labeled avoidance/guardedness, modeling, and laissez-faire. The first was characterized by a desire not to overemphasize appearance-related issues and to avoid hurting each other’s feelings. The second was characterized by a conscious attempt by mothers to model the attitudes and behaviors they desired their daughters to adopt. The last was characterized by the perception that input from each other about the body was unnecessary.

While three approaches have been identified in conversations between mothers and daughters, other researchers (Cash, 1995; Rieves & Cash, 1996; Schwartz et al., 1999; Yoo & Johnson, 2008) have noted that teasing is yet another method of appearance socialization that can shape thoughts about the body and appearance management behaviors. For example, Cash found that most of the teasing experienced by adolescent girls was related to their weight or facial attributes, and most of the teasing was done by peers. Yoo and Johnson (2008) found that adolescent girls made changes to their appearance (e.g., changed a hairstyle, changed what they wore) as a result of being teased. Additionally, researchers have documented that teasing about appearance experienced early in life can have long-term effects. For example, Grillo, Wilfrey, Brownell, and Rodin (1994) reported that teasing experienced during adolescence was linked to body image concerns during adulthood. Similarly, Cash reported that women who had undergone appearance-related teasing during adolescence shared that their current thoughts about their body had been shaped by this experience.

Data Analysis

Two researchers independently read each essay several times and organized data by grouping together all related responses that addressed each research question. After this initial independent review, researchers compared their groupings and discussed differences of opinions until they achieved agreement. Both researchers employed Van Manen’s (1990) line-by-line approach to identify major concepts, thoughts, and ideas in the data by underlining each detail of the response to a research question. Responses concerning each research question were then coded into an Excel file. Reviewing coded data together, both researchers then grouped similar responses into categories. They then developed themes by grouping together similar categories. The third researcher was involved in finalizing the themes and all three researchers discussed differences in categorization until agreement was achieved. The only exception to this process was using Kurdek’s (1994) conflict resolution styles to initially categorize participants’ responses about conflict resolution.

Participant Characteristics

Participants were undergraduates (female: n = 40, male: n = 3) enrolled at a Midwestern University within the United States. Participants’ ages ranged from 20 to 38. The majority was Euro-American (93.7%) followed by Asian American (4.0%) and Hispanic American (2.3%). Participants had at least one sibling (80.0%) and grew up with both parents (76.7%). Slightly over half of the participants grew up in rural areas (61.9%), while the remaining grew up in urban areas (38.1%).

Appearance Management Rules

Seven categories of rules emerged from the data. The categories were labeled aesthetic, context, role, social position, hygiene, modesty, and functionality. Aesthetic rules were the most frequently mentioned appearance management rules. This category of rules reflected the idea that people should manage their appearance and select dress that enhanced their attractiveness to others or that created a favorable impression. Aspects of appearance management that were addressed in these rules included information about appropriate body size, cosmetic use, and coordinating clothing items. These aesthetic rules are illustrated by the following:

While she never called me fat or made direct comments about my physical appearance, every day I got some sort of reminder that I couldn’t afford to eat that, or I shouldn’t wear that, or that she was the same way when she was little and knows from experience that I’d be happier if I were thin. [ID 37]

Specific details such as wearing black socks with black shoes, wearing all black and having the blacks match were stressed, and also wearing coordinating jewelry were stressed by my mother. She believed a more polished look would lead to a more favorable impression made by others. [ID 33]

The next category of rules was labeled modesty. These rules addressed how much exposure of the body was suitable when appearing in public. Areas of the body that were the focus of these rules were often breasts and buttocks: “She always kept a close eye if my sisters and I were dressing too little……. . My mother always said that girls are graceful and we don’t need to show off our bodies to prove how beautiful we are” [ID 29].

A few participants shared functionality rules. These rules reflected policies concerning comfort in dress. Comfort entailed both physical and psychological comfort:

The one piece of advice that she stood by the most was that I should wear what I felt good in. A lot of times that did not make me the most stylish girl in the room, but at least I felt comfortable. [ID 31]

Origin of Appearance Rules and Socialization Techniques

Appearance management rules were learned from various socializing agents including significant others and members of the community in which the participants resided. They were learned as a result of direct instruction, observation, and through the experience of being teased. Mothers were the most frequently mentioned individuals who influenced socialization about appearance, followed by siblings and friends. Rules from the aesthetic and context categories were frequently mentioned as learned from all three categories of socializing agents. Rules representing all categories were taught by mothers using direct instruction. Mothers were particularly influential with communicating aesthetic rules. Participants also learned rules indirectly through observing their mothers. The following quote exemplifies this: “My mom worked out every day and was always thin and fit. I think that this had an impact on me which still is present in my life today” [ID41].

Participants learned appearance rules from their older siblings through both direct instruction and observation. The dominant rules learned from siblings were about aesthetics:

“She was wearing deodorant, shaving her legs, wearing makeup, and coloring her hair …. it took Lucy’s personality to convince me to start doing these things myself, even if I was just in fourth grade” [ID 24]. The dominant rules learned from friends were about conforming and fitting into a social context, “I wanted to fit in with all other girls and in an effort to do so, I conformed to the way they dressed” [ID 3]. Participants learned rules from friends through observation and the experience of being teased, “I didn’t have a ton of clothes and one day one of them said, ‘didn’t you already wear those jeans this week?’ I learned that you couldn’t wear the same clothes in one week” [ID 8].

Participants learned appearance rules from individuals in their community primarily through observation. The most often cited individuals were those in schools, followed by community members of participants who were often raised in rural towns. A few participants cited individuals who represented a specific cultural background as key to their socialization. With reference to schools, participants wrote primarily about context rules (e.g., “to be similar as possible to my friends” [ID 32]) and aesthetic rules (e.g., “do not be overweight” [ID39]). With regard to small towns, the dominant rules were about context (e.g., “coming from a small town, conformity is seen as best and anything out of the ordinary is scrutinized.” [ID41]). Finally, the influence of individuals from specific cultures was tied to aesthetic rules (e.g., “a rounded body is a sign of well-being.” [ID 25]).

Experiencing and Resolving Conflicts Over Appearance

We analyzed participants’ responses for the types of conflicts experienced over appearance management, who they were in conflict with, and how these conflicts were resolved. Participants did experience conflicts over their appearance management. After comparing and negotiating themes, six categories of conflicts emerged. We labeled these categories as: aesthetic (e.g., dress that enhances your attractiveness), fashionable (e.g., acceptable dress for a given time and place), financial (e.g., lack of monetary support for purchasing dress), role (e.g., dress that reflects your social position), modesty (e.g., dress that is not body revealing), and context (e.g., dress that fits a specific situation). Conflicts identified were not necessarily over an appearance management rule. For example, an argument over what comprised fashionable dress or amount of money to be spent on fashion was not tied to how or when to wear a clothing style or if it should be worn at all.

The most frequently mentioned conflicts were over aesthetic rules, followed by fashionability, context, financial conflicts, modesty, and role. Examples of illustrative quotes from each category follow: “I did not like mom’s choice of new clothing” [ID 41] (aesthetic), “I always wore a dress but none of [the] girls there wore them” [ID 34] (fashionability), “I wanted to buy branded clothing but mom could not afford it” [ID 13] (financial), “Mom wanted me to be a girly girl and wear dresses during festivals. I was not a girly girl. I followed my brother” [ID 1] (role), “I was forced to wear respectable and unrevealing outfits” (modesty), and “I did not like that I was not allowed to wear shorts in the chapel practice” [ID 31] (context).

There were a few participants who shared they did not experience any conflicts concerning their appearance management. Of those participants who reported conflicts, mothers were the most frequently mentioned individuals reported as being the source of the conflict followed by themselves (i.e., an internal conflict), friends, siblings, parents, and community members. Conflicts with mothers seemed to be a part of the maturation process. As daughters matured they found themselves less and less in agreement with their mothers about what clothing items were attractive. Some participants shared they experienced internal conflicts with themselves due to conflicting rules learned from various socializing agents or conflicts between their own values and appearance rules taught by socializing agents. Appearance conflicts were also experienced between participants and members of their community.

Participants resolved their conflicts in a variety of ways. A frequently mentioned resolution style was simple compliance, followed by positive problem solving and withdrawal. Kurdek’s (1994) other two conflict resolution styles (i.e., conflict engagement and exit) were not noted. Many participants resolved conflicts by either accepting the other person’s position without asserting their own position (i.e., compliance) or a process that entailed understanding each other’s viewpoint and by using constructive reasoning tactics (i.e., positive problem solving). A few participants used withdrawal and avoided or ignored the conflict. As a result, these participants shared they grew apart from the individual who was the source of the conflict. Examples of conflict resolution styles are exemplified in the following statements: “I wore mom’s choice of new clothing to make her happy” [ID 41] (compliance), “I understood mom’s heartbreak because of my behavior and resolved to be a more creative shopper, finding more exclusive brands on sale or unique off-brand items” [ID 13] (positive problem solving), and “I ignored their teasing because my classmates accepted my styles” [ID 12] (withdrawal).