Abstract
The author in this article explores seven day-to-day living experiences that expand understanding of the humanbecoming concept of fortifying wisdom. Poetry is used to enhance understanding of the seven living experiences of (a) the use of words, (b) the experience of the body, (c) love, (d) compassion, (e) faith, (f) hope, and (g) forgiveness.
A person’s evolving life story holds such living experiences as joy-sorrow, feeling disappointed, feeling unsure, being surprised, feeling joyful, feeling sad, and feeling cared for. If a person took just one of these living experiences and reflected upon it, there would emerge certain life lessons that involve the structuring of meaning with imaging what was understood and not understood about that experience, the reflections would involve valuing certain cherished moments of the experience and not cherishing other moments, and the person would language this imaging and valuing about the experience in speaking-being silent and moving-being still. Such structuring of meaning surfaces an appreciation for living the becoming visible-invisible becoming of the emerging now. From a humanbecoming perspective, a person living the emerging now moment is living quality. “Living quality refers to the individual’s core whatness; the stuff of a life. . . . It is the living cocreation with predecessors, contemporaries, and successors” (Parse, 2013, p. 112). There are three core knowings of living quality: fortifying wisdom, discerning witness, and penetrating silence (Parse, 2013). The author explores the living quality core knowing of fortifying wisdom.
Fortifying wisdom involves explicit-tacit knowing of what should be attended to and distanced from in choosing personal pattern preferences. Fortifying wisdom strengthens knowings while dealing with understandings-misunderstandings in moving with the emerging now. In an earlier article I wrote entitled “Wisdom’s Whimsical Ways” (Bunkers, 2014), it was noted that according to the prominent psychiatrist Blatner (2005), wisdom should be viewed as a verb. Blatner (2005) wrote, “wisdom may more properly be called wisdom-ing. It isn’t something one has or achieves, but rather what one does moment by moment” (p. 29). Similarly, from a humanbecoming perspective, fortifying wisdom is lived moment to moment with the humanbecoming community change concepts of “moving-initiating, anchoring-shifting, and pondering-shaping change” (Parse, 2013, p. 112). Parse (2013) stated that fortifying wisdom “dwells with the individual’s explicit-tacit knowings, as the individual is moving and at once initiating ways to strengthen personal value priorities” (p. 114). Thus, the following can be said concerning fortifying wisdom: Fortifying wisdom offers nursing a description of wisdom as: connected with the core whatness of a human being; fortifying wisdom as explicit-tacit knowings; fortifying wisdom as creating anew; and fortifying wisdom as fundamental in moving-initiating community change in developing value priorities. (Bunkers, 2014, p. 6)
Fortifying wisdom involves knowing-not knowing and understanding-misunderstanding while moving with what is not-yet. Krista Tippett (2016), author of the book Becoming Wise, organized her reflections on wisdom around five basic aspects of human day-to-day living. These experiences of day-to-day living included (a) the use of words, (b) the body, (c) love, (d) compassion, (e) faith, (f) hope, and (g) forgiveness (Tippett, 2016). We will explore these seven aspects of day-to-day living as we ponder the gifts of fortifying wisdom.
Words and Fortifying Wisdom
Words do matter—they shape our world and bring things into being. Certain forms of words carry significant influence and power. For example, there is the power of personal story. Rachal Naomi Remen, in Tippett (2016), wrote, “The world is made up of stories; it’s not made up of facts” (p. 26). Remen, a physician, tells young doctors they should learn to practice generous listening when asking persons to share their personal stories. Generous listening involves being curious and is “a kind of vulnerability—a willingness to be surprised, to let go of assumptions and take in ambiguity. The listener wants to understand the humanity behind the words of the other” (Tippett, 2016, p. 29). It is with this type of generous listening that one can understand the Other’s personal story. This type of generous listening also prompts meaningful questions that further develop understanding of the Other. The humanbecoming art of true presence is another way of listening that brings clearer understanding of the words of the Other. True presence is “a special way of being with others, attentive to moment-to-moment changes in meaning. . . . It is bearing witness and being with others in their changing pattern preferences” (Parse, 2014, p. 93). Bearing witness to another’s personal story strengthens one’s understanding of the Other.
Another use of words that intersects with our lives in living fortifying wisdom is poetry. Marie Howe, a poet, stated, “Poetry holds what can’t be said. . . . The great poetry I love holds the mystery of being alive” (Howe, in Tippett, 2016, p. 44). Poetry can express what otherwise may be inexpressible. Following is poetry regarding words:
Think on this.
The Body and Fortifying Wisdom
The wisdom of the body cannot be ignored. Our bodies are made of matter that is connected to humanuniverse, and the body is either nourished or ignored by living our ways of becoming. Annie Paul (2006) wrote about the skill of learning karate and how when trained in the techniques of karate the “body becomes a receptacle of wisdom, a living, breathing, thinking entity capable of sidestepping the head’s importunate demands instead of enacting them” (p. 406). Tippett (2016) wrote the following: Our bodies tell us the truth of life that our minds can deny; that we are in any moment as much about softness as fortitude. Life is fluid, evanescent, evolving in every cell, in every breath. Never perfect. To be alive is by definition messy, always leaning towards disorder and surprise. How we are open or closed to the reality that we never arrive at safe enduring stasis is the matter, the raw material, of wisdom. (p. 67)
Our flesh and blood hold many mysteries for each individual’s becoming. Our flesh and blood hold surprises for our living quality.
Think on this.
Love and Fortifying Wisdom
Tippett (2016) wrote concerning love, “we’ve lived it as a feeling, when it is a way of being” (p. 104). Tippett suggested we can answer the question of what is love? We can answer it by reviewing the story of our lives. To love means to live our connectedness with others and to thrive in relationship. Living with and valuing the Other is an act of love (Tippett, 2016). Several years ago when I was teaching in the undergraduate program at Augustana University, I taught a January interim course entitled Women and Love. The course focused on mature interpersonal relationships and the main book assigned to read for the course was philosopher Eric Fromm’s (1956) book The Art of Loving. Many young women were drawn to the course, but there were also several young men who participated in the course as well. The course explored relationship building and assertiveness training as well as the different ways love is actualized in societies. The class also included guest speakers who told their life stories involving love in their lives. Two of the guest speakers included a mother and daughter who had left their Hurderrite colony, thus being condemned to eternal damnation by their clan. These two women shared the love and pain they experienced in that process of leaving the colony and creating a new life for themselves. The final exam in the course was an assignment to create in an art form the student’s own personal perspective on love. These art forms were presented to the entire class. These were amazing presentations. One student wrote poetry describing being reared as an adopted child, another presented a dramatic reading on his experience of love and hate in the world, and another wrote and sang a song concerning how she overcame abuse. All of the personal presentations involved stories of the students’ lives and how they lived love.
Eric Fromm (1956) also stated that love was “an activity, not a passive affect; it is a standing in, not a falling for. In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving, not receiving” (p. 21). Fromm believed that in the act of giving, an individual experiences vitality, potency, and joy. He suggested the most important form of giving is giving of the self to another, not a sacrificing of self for the other, but a giving of interests, understanding, knowledge, humor, and even sadness. Fromm defined love as mature interpersonal union (Fromm, 1956). Following is a poem on love.
Think on this.
Compassion and Fortifying Wisdom
What is compassion? Tippett (2016) suggested compassion and hospitality come linked together. In periods of pain and despair, “compassion goes about finding the work that can be done” (p. 123) with and for others. The word compassion comes from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean to suffer with. Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share brokenness, fear, confusion and anguish” (Nouwen, McNeill, & Morrison, 1982, pp. 3-4). The importance of presence in understanding compassion is accentuated by Nouwen et al. (1982) in the book Compassion: Reflections on the Christian Life. These authors posed the question: “When do we receive real comfort and consolation?” (p. 11). Their answer is very clear: “What really counts is that in moments of pain and suffering someone stays with us. More important than any action or word of advice is the simple presence of someone who cares” (p. 11). The humanbecoming concept of true presence highlights the importance of being with and bearing witness to another’s living experiences of pain as well as joy. True presence is lived in face-to-face encounters of dialogue and discussion, true presence is lived in silence where messages are given and received without words being spoken, and true presence is lived with a lingering presence involving remembering and reflecting on an encounter moments, days, or years later. The point is true presence honors the dignity of others with words or silence as persons live their value priorities.
Along with the importance of presence in offering a compassionate stance, Nouwen et al. (1982) suggested action is also important. “Action with and for those who suffer is the concrete expression of the compassionate life. . . . Such acts do not stand beside the moments of prayer and worship but are themselves such moments” (Nouwen et al., 1982, p. 119). Such action can include confronting what needs addressing in a dire situation, it can include expressions of art work that depict the suffering of the poor and the persecuted, and it can include joyful expressions of gratitude for being involved in giving and receiving with others (Nouwen et al., 1982). Following is a poem depicting compassion:
Think on this.
Forgiveness and Fortifying Wisdom
Forgiveness involves connecting-separating with self and others. There are several perspectives involving the understanding of forgiveness. These perspectives consist of what one would consider the relating of the self to the Other. For example, choice theory suggests forgiveness is a choice that can be an effective behavior for a productive lifestyle. Azmy and Robey (2019) defined forgiveness as “a coping response to interpersonal conflict that represents a positive alternative to seeking revenge or simply distancing oneself from an offender” (p. 21). Forgiveness is a choice the offended makes and is independent of others. Replacing anger or revenge with forgiveness allows relationships to continue and reconciliation to occur (Azmy & Robey, 2019).
Griswold (2007) developed a theory of forgiveness that promoted a conditional nature of forgiveness that involved both the offended and the offender. He stated, “forgiveness comes with certain conditions or norms, else it would collapse into forgetting, or excusing, or condonation, or rationalization, as the case may be” (p. 47). The conditions of forgiveness include certain steps the offender must go through. These steps include “(1) taking responsibility, (2) repudiate the act, (3) repent, (4) commit to self-transformation, (5) understand the injury, and (6) give an account of their actions” (pp. 50-51). According to Griswold, forgiveness is not a gift but is a moral transaction occurring over time.
In opposition to this conditional nature of forgiveness, Jankelevitch offered a theory of forgiveness involving a universal act of charity. For Jankelevitch, “forgiveness is a form of charity and is constituted by three defining characteristics: it is an event, a graciously given gift, and is an authentic relation to a specific other” (Ball, 2019, p. 616). Jankelevitch claimed forgiveness is an act of generosity that forgives the inexcusable (Ball, 2019). Similar but not the same as Jankelevitch’s theory of forgiveness, the philosopher Kierkegaard saw forgiveness “as for-giving, a gift given prior to contrition or atonement” (Kirekegaard, in Ball, 2019, p. 620). Kierkegaard viewed forgiveness as a form of agape love and a charitable act—thus, a virtuous act. Following are my thoughts on forgiveness:
Think on this.
Faith and Fortifying Wisdom
Fear, longing, mystery, a questioning spirit, the vastness of possibility, perplexity, hiddenness, moral imagination, doubt, surprise, and wonder are terms Tippett (2016) uses in describing the experience of faith. Tippett suggested, “Einstein saw a reverence for wonder at the heart of the best of science and religion and the arts” (p. 164). In regards to faith and religion, Boone, a Christian theologian, stated, “Faith is the believer’s steadiness of mind or conviction with respect to those things she hopes for. . . . Faith is the commitment and conviction that sticks to Christ no matter what” (Boone, 2020, p. 145). Robert Cole, who wrote a book about the spiritual life of children, wrote, “The spirit of religion, I think, is what children connect with—the questions, the inquiry, the enormous curiosity about this universe, and the hope that somehow those answers will come about” (Cole, in Tippett, 2016, p. 166).
From a humanbecoming perspective, Doucet (2008) conducted an inquiry into the living experience of having faith. Doucet found that having faith “is discerning conviction with perpetual alliances arising with fortitude amid adversity” (p. 347). Examining these core concepts of having faith expands understanding of this experience.
Discerning Convictions
Discerning conviction was described by the participants in this inquiry as having confidence in imagining cherished possibilities concerning what could be. One participant stated, “Having faith is a sense of peace. It’s all imaginary. It helps me organize my emotions” (Doucet, 2008, p. 348). Discerning conviction occurs with perpetual alliances.
Perpetual Alliances
Perpetual alliances were described by the participants as timeless moments when they connected with someone who had passed on while at the same time they were present in the here and now (Doucet, 2008). One participant described being at a celebration for a minister. She stated, “In this huge auditorium when they [the community] had [the minister] come up on stage with his wife, I smelled my dad [deceased]. He was there and he’d come to participate in it” (Doucet, 2008, p. 348). In having faith, the mystery of connecting with perpetual alliances was lived with fortitude amid adversity.
Fortitude Amid Adversity
Fortitude amid adversity involved moving on while experiencing loss and pain. One participant stated how empty he felt when he had lost several loved ones. He said he felt “like there’s nothing inside me” (Doucet, 2008, p. 349). He went on to say he had the choice of “living in despair or with new life” (p. 349). Having faith for this man meant participating in new life (Doucet, 2008). In this inquiry, Doucet pointed out that for these participants having faith involved holding certain beliefs that they cherished while engaging with absent presences and present relationships as they bravely lived with suffering. Following are thoughts on faith:
Think on this.
Hope and Fortifying Wisdom
Hope, according to Tippett (2016), is a choice that values the truth. “It is a renewable resource for moving through life as it is, not as we wish it to be” (p. 237). Hope involves the faith in possibility and the courage to move on in times of tribulation. Bunkers (1999) in an inquiry on hope for those working with homeless persons, which was part of a nine-country study on hope, described hope as “envisioning possibilities amid disheartenment, as close alliances with isolating turmoil surface in inventive endeavoring” (p. 247). Envisioning possibilities amid disheartenment was described by participants “as considering opportunities for tomorrow while at the same time realizing the discouragement that the world is not what they want it to be” (p. 244). One participant stated, “Even when I get depressed I know that I’m not the only resource at work here” (pp. 244-245). Close alliances with isolating turmoil “reflects the paradoxical rhythm of being close to others while at the same time experiencing distancing unrest in close relational activities” (p. 247). One person stated, “sometimes you might sit across from someone who won’t even speak to you. That’s OK; they still feel good that you with the yellow name tag have come to sit with them” (p. 247). Inventive endeavoring was described by participants “in their stories of how they lived out their hope in creative works” (p. 248). Another participant shared, “I’m using my skills to help other people as much as I can” (p. 249). Hope involves creativity and conforming-not conforming as one moves on with new challenges and unique opportunities.
In the same nine-country inquiry on hope, Parse (1999) identified the following insights concerning how individuals worldwide live hope:
Envisioning a different way of becoming accompanies discomfort and adversity.
People experience and describe an awareness of change as ongoing.
Expectancy is persistent and ever-present.
Engagements with others and ideas fortify moving on.
Opportunities and restrictions prevail with wishes for something yet-to-be. (p. 290)
Hope is a linchpin for our personal resilience and goodness. Hope seeks what is possible and innovative in life. Tippett (2016) wrote, “it is a privilege to hold something robust and resilient called hope, which has the power to shift the world on its axis” (p. 267). Following is a poem concerning hope:
Think on this.
Coda
Recognizing the importance of personal story and poetry while acknowledging the power of the human body are part of the understandings-misunderstandings of my fortifying wisdom. The messages of love, compassion, and forgiveness as well as the revelations of faith and hope are woven into the fabric of the explicit-tacit knowings of my fortifying wisdom and living quality. Writing these reflections on fortifying wisdom has given me the opportunity to ponder the words of J. Ruth Gendler (1988), who wrote about wisdom in The Book of Qualities. “Wisdom has a quiet mind. She likes to think about the edges where things spill into each other and become their opposites. She knows how to look at things inside and out” (p. 16).
