Abstract
The inclusion of parental perspectives in research on physical and emotional sibling violence has been minimal, with parents of various ethnic backgrounds being particularly absent from the literature. Drawing on witnessed interactions with her own children and her personal experiences with a sibling in childhood, this article presents a view of physical and emotional sibling violence from the perspective of an African American parent identified by social services to be at risk for child abuse and neglect. Themes emerging from the interview center around the intersection of sibling violence and parental/family stress, parental normalization of violence between siblings, witnessing community violence, sibling versus peer fighting, and ways to address/prevent sibling violence. The need for more ethnically and socioeconomically inclusive research related to physical and emotional sibling violence is highlighted along with a discussion of practice implications as mechanisms for intervention.
Physical violence between siblings is a phenomenon that has received comparatively less attention in the interpersonal/family violence literature than other forms of violence such as child abuse, intimate partner violence, and elder abuse. However, in a national sample of children and adolescents, 37.6% had been the victim of at least one form of violence (physical and/or emotional) initiated by a sibling (Tucker, Finkelhor, Shattuck, & Turner, 2013). Current estimates approximate that one in three children aged 0-17 will likely experience sibling assault sometime in their childhood (Finkelhor, Turner, Shattuck, & Hamby, 2015). Along with eating disorders and posttraumatic stress disorder (Wiehe, 1997), poor self-esteem (Meyers, 2014), and aggression and emotional difficulties (Mathis & Mueller, 2015) in adults, the occurrence of physical and emotional sibling violence and aggression has been linked to depression, anxiety, and self-injurious behaviors (Bowes, Wolke, Joinson, Lereya, & Lewis, 2014); delinquent behaviors and depressed mood (Tucker et al., 2015); and substance use (Button & Gealt, 2010) in adolescents.
Coinciding with the minimal research and knowledge regarding physical and emotional sibling violence is the omission of parental perspectives regarding sibling violence (Perkins, 2014). Some research has asked parents to note negative and violent behaviors between their children (see Finkelhor, Turner, & Ormrod, 2006; Straus, Gelles, & Steinmetz, 2006); however, with the exception of Perkins (2014), research in the area of physical and emotional sibling violence has not included parental perspectives on witnessed violent interactions between their children. Additionally, research has not included parental perceptions of their own experiences when in childhood. It is important to obtain parental perceptions of sibling violence as it relates to families in order to better understand the phenomenon. Knowledge of parental perceptions and meaning of what constitutes sibling violence may help inform future interventions aimed at helping parents prevent, alleviate, and address violence between siblings.
Case Study and Parent Interview
As part of a larger case study, approved by the Institutional Review Board, that considered group facilitators’ perceptions of sibling violence as it relates to parenting intervention programs aimed at addressing child abuse and neglect (see Shadik, Perkins, & Kovacs, 2013), the authors planned to interview participants of the parenting groups to better understand their perceptions of physical and emotional sibling violence. Recruitment occurred by going to all parenting groups to discuss the study. To be eligible, individuals needed to be 18 or older, speak English, and have two or more children who had been violent with each other. Of the six parents who met study requirements and who agreed to participate, only one parent completed the interview process. It is possible that those individuals who decided not to participate were apprehensive about discussing the occurrence of physical and emotional sibling violence between their children given stigma they already faced regarding being identified for being at risk of child abuse and/or neglect. These individuals may have felt that discussing violence between their children could have potentially contributed to a further negative portrayal of themselves as parents. Furthermore, some of these parents were involved with the child welfare system and may have been overwhelmed completing requirements of the court system as well as other obligations.
Given the paucity of research including the voice of parents at risk for child abuse and/or neglect, the authors conducted an in-depth interview with Marie (a pseudonym), a parent in a parent intervention program for child maltreatment, to better understand her perceptions of sibling violence. The participant completed a demographic form and participated in an in-depth interview conducted by the authors that lasted approximately 1 hour. Marie received dinner, transportation costs, and a gift card as compensation for her time in the interview. Initial scripted questions focused on the participant’s perceptions and experiences related to what she had observed between her children as it related to sibling violence as well as considerations for ways to address this form of familial violence. After the interview was audio-recorded and transcribed, a thematic analysis was conducted with the researchers uncovering themes individually, then collaboratively discussing themes to come to a consensus regarding the final themes (Hill, 2012). Any discrepancies were processed to help ensure the voice of the participant was the focal point of the subsequent results.
Marie
Marie, a 32-year-old African American female, had three children ranging in age from 8 to 12. Her son was 12, and she had two daughters (8 and 9 years old). Marie was a college graduate who lived with an unmarried partner. Her income placed her below the poverty line, and she had been identified by social services as a parent at risk for child abuse and neglect.
Marie lived in a historically violent neighborhood in a midsized city in the mid-Atlantic with three children currently living apart. Marie had lost custody of her children due to the court’s ruling of child neglect, and two of her children were living with her mother and one child with an ex-boyfriend who was the child’s father. While only one individual, Marie provides a voice from a community (violent neighborhood) and context (underprivileged) that has not been previously included in the research on violence between siblings.
Marie’s Perspectives and Consideration for Future Research
Given the scarcity of research in this area, the information provided by this participant is pertinent to moving the discussion of violence between siblings forward. Furthermore, it is important to note that the following represents areas that Marie focused on and should not be misinterpreted as a representation of all individuals with similar circumstances. Although generalization of these ideas is unwarranted, the information that Marie provided is important as it has implications for needed research regarding the phenomenon of physical and emotional violence between siblings. Marie’s responses to the interview questions lead to the following themes related to physical and emotional sibling violence: parental/family stress, parental normalization of violence between siblings, witnessed community violence, sibling versus peer fighting, and ways to address/prevent sibling violence.
Parental Stress/Family Stress
Given the occurrence of child abuse and neglect in the home, which led to her not having custody of all of her children, Marie discussed the challenges involved with having each of her three children living apart. Marie felt that she could not impose her standards on her mother as her mother was assisting her by caring for her son. Thus, when her son was with Marie, she placed limits on the types of music he listened to and language he utilized. Since these rules were different than the rules of Marie’s mother, stress in the family ensued, which Marie believed influenced the interactions between her children when they were together. She noted that the children were not used to interacting regularly and living in the same home.
A lot of us in the parenting class don’t have our children (due to custody issues or foster care), they’re probably not living together, they’re separate. I feel their sibling rivalry has gotten worse cuz they’re not together.
Marie noted that it was “hard when all three [children] are together. My youngest daughter hits her sister. I don’t know what to do because I’m not used to being a mom yet.”
Additional challenges faced in the family included a lack of transportation, which limited Marie’s ability to visit the children who were not currently in her custody. Along with the challenge of trying to meet the needs of all three children, Marie felt that all of the children wanted her attention and she believed this created issues of jealousy for the two children she did not see as often, which is similar to what she experienced with her sister when growing up. Marie felt that she and her sister fought because she received more attention from their mother due to differences between the siblings.
I think it was because my mother gave more attention to me because me and my sister are totally different. I’m the nerdy one that made straight A’s and was headed to college and she was headed to jail. I got more of my mother’s attention than she did.
Regarding parental and family stress, Marie’s experience accentuates the need to consider family context and dynamics that may lead to the occurrence of sibling violence. Having children living in different homes, lack of skills in addressing violence between children, and insecurities due to perceived inadequacies of being a mother may lead to stress in the family. Given that family stress has been found to be a significant predictor of physical violence between siblings (Hoffman, Kiecolt, & Edwards, 2005), added stress may exacerbate physical and emotional sibling violence in families at risk for child abuse and neglect.
Parental Normalization of Violence Between Siblings
When asked about what she has witnessed between her children, Marie stated that her “older kids are overweight and the youngest picks on them and calls them fat. That’s just what brothers and sisters do.” Her normalization of what she had witnessed between her children was attributed to Marie’s experiences and interactions with her own sister both in childhood and as a young adult. She reported that she and her sister fought, both verbally and physically, and attributed this to both her and her sister’s desire for resources as well as attention from their mother.
I was 12 and she was 10 and we got to fighting, because it was the last juice in the ‘frigerator and I got it, and we were fighting and I tried to run for the door and she chased me and stabbed me in the back with a fork because I took the last juice.
When asked her thoughts about what she had experienced, she noted it was normative in the context of her sibling subsystem. As young adults, this violent behavior continued occasionally, with one incident occurring while she was pregnant.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, we [participant and sister] got in an argument—she wanted the door closed and I wanted it open. She came and pushed me out the door and I almost fell off the porch when I was 5 months pregnant. She came out that door and I went at her. I was 24, my sister was 22.
These experiences as well as other past interactions likely contributed to Marie’s normalization of the behaviors she had witnessed between her children.
Marie normalized the violent experiences she had with her sister when they were children. This normalization underscores the need to consider three important areas that have been mainly neglected in the research and literature on sibling violence. First, if some parents normalize this form of family violence, consideration of normalization within the context of families who have perpetrated or are considered at risk of child abuse and neglect is warranted. Second, it is unclear if normalization of violence in the sibling dyad may be more prominent in families of certain ethnicities. The lack of research on physical and emotional sibling violence in families of various ethnicities (Perkins, 2014; Rapoza, Cook, Zaveri, & Malley-Morrison, 2010) substantiates the need for future research to be more inclusive. Finally, if normalization of sibling violence occurs in families, there is a need to consider the intergenerational transmission of sibling violence (Perkins, 2014). Perpetuation of sibling violence across generations may not only inhibit more positive family functioning but also contribute to stress in the family system that could be ameliorated.
Community Violence/Witnessed Experiences of Sibling Violence
Marie believed that community violence was a potentially relevant factor for the occurrence of sibling violence.
I think it has to do with the environment. I’m thinking about my friends who have more kids but they don’t live in a rough part of town and their kids aren’t as bad and violent as kids that grow up in the projects. I’m guessing that the kids that grow up in the projects see a lot of violence and that’s why they’re more violent.
Marie stated that she has seen other siblings in her neighborhood be violent with each other and believed this contributed to her own children being violent with one another. In each of the two cases she described, the older brother was hitting the younger brother and the younger sibling did not retaliate.
I was sitting outside and looking at kids across the street and a bigger size boy kept popping his brother in the back of the head and kept doing it and a lady said ‘stop hitting your brother in the back of the head like that,’ and he kept doing it. That is not sibling rivalry, that is just abuse.
When asked how she determined that the situation was abuse, she stated it was that the older brother repeatedly hit sibling and how hard he was doing it. She felt that the younger sibling’s lack of retaliation was also a factor.
The little boy wasn’t doing anything back, he was just sitting there. If he was hitting back, that would be sibling rivalry.
Witnessing violence in the community was an aspect Marie did not want influencing her children’s relationships, yet she acknowledged the potential connection between these two forms of violence. Marie noted violent incidents she and her daughters witnessed in their apartment complex and discussed that her youngest daughter had been violent with her siblings as well as other family members and peers at school. She attributed these actions to the violence in the community and surrounding environment her youngest daughter witnessed, which eventually led to her daughter’s diagnosis of PTSD and spending time in a residential placement to manage her aggression.
Coinciding with the phenomena of parental/familial stress and normalization of sibling violence is the exposure to community violence. Marie talked extensively about the environment and community in which she and her children lived and believed this contributed to the sibling violence she witnessed between her children. Her children had been exposed to community violence and had also witnessed other children experiencing physical sibling violence. Research has found the association between sibling aggression and father-to-child physical aggression to be higher in the context of increased community violence (Miller, Grabell, Thomas, Bermann, & Graham-Bermann, 2012). However, research on the intersection of community violence, child abuse, and sibling violence is scant. The need for research to better understand the intersection of community violence and sibling violence is necessary in order to consider interventions to help families experiencing family violence.
Fighting Siblings Versus Fighting Peers
The distinction between peer and sibling violence as well as the connection between peer and sibling violence were aspects Marie discussed when talking about the interactions between her children as well as the relationship between she and her sister. Marie stated that although her children rarely got along, they would stick up for each other against someone else and noted that she had never seen her son “put his hands on his sisters. If somebody is threatening his sister he takes up for his sisters.”
Sibling violence was noted as being different than peer violence when Marie referred to her relationship with her sister:
When there were times I was supposed to be fighting other girls I would run from that, but when it came to fighting my sister, I’d fight her. I was scared to fight other girls that were my age, but when it came to my sister I would fight her. A lot of the times when we were younger she would use to beat me up all the time. I’m the oldest, but she used to beat me up.
Marie also mentioned her youngest daughter getting in fights at school and felt that might be associated with the fighting Marie witnessed between her two daughters. She noted the similarities between her children and her experiences with her sister when she was a child where it was acceptable for siblings to fight but not for others/peers to fight or threaten a sibling.
Within the interview, Marie discussed her experiences with getting into fights with peers while in school and fighting with her sister. Interestingly, she also noted the differentiation she made between her children fighting peers at school and her children fighting with each other at home. Despite the fact that fighting between peers and siblings can be violent in either context, there are fundamental differences between the two phenomena due to the differences in the relationships between a child and a sibling and a child and a peer (Finkelhor et al., 2006). With research indicating a connection between sibling and peer violence (Johnson et al., 2015; Menesini, Camodeca, & Nocentini, 2010; Tucker, Finkelhor, Turner, & Shattuck, 2014), a better understanding of stress and community violence in the contexts of both peer and sibling violence for families of various socioeconomic status’ ethnicities is needed.
Ways to Prevent/Address Sibling Violence
Marie reported feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how best to handle the violence between her children. She reported being open to suggestions.
There’s so many different ideas on how to discipline your child, something that has to do with discipline. Something has to happen, I just don’t know what. A way a parent can sit down and talk about family values, valuing your family.
She reported desiring knowledge to communicate more effectively with her children and prevent problems before they start.
Yeah, to sit down and be able to talk to your kids cause a lot of parents don’t know how to sit down and talk to their kids. Sit down and talk to them about valuing their family and their relationships. That’s the hardest part, trying to find the right words to say to my kids without doing what my mother did [participant’s mother would yell] “you need to get along, stop fighting.”
Marie noted that attending a parenting group was helpful, as she was with other parents struggling with similar issues.
Yes, it helps you . . . I’m not the only person going through this. It’s helpful to talk to another mother or father going through the same thing. They might have ideas you haven’t thought of. I think that [sibling violence] would be an awesome topic for one of the classes.
The desire for assistance in addressing problematic and violent interactions between her children was apparent in Marie’s responses. Mechanisms to address sibling violence in parenting intervention groups was viewed as a potentially beneficial aspect that could be incorporated into existing curriculum.
Marie’s responses also highlight the need to provide resources for parents at risk for child abuse and neglect. Along with not knowing how to approach the topic of sibling violence with her children, Marie mentioned that discussing physical and emotional sibling violence with other parents would be a helpful resource for addressing and hopefully preventing violence between children. Resources aimed at primary and secondary prevention of physical and emotional violence between siblings may help families who have experienced or are at risk for child abuse and neglect alleviate some familial stress while also providing parents with mechanisms to address occurrences of problematic interaction between children (Shadik et al., 2013). Effective parental intervention has the potential to be empowering for parents while systemically helping parents to think of other ways to address stressful familial situations.
Practice Implications and Conclusion
The preceding themes that emerged from the interview with Marie highlight aspects related to families at risk for child abuse and neglect, where physical and/or emotional sibling violence is present that needs to be considered. While these are the perspectives of only one participant, the perspectives provided through this voice highlight important aspects of sibling violence related to etiology, maintenance, and treatment. Given the limited research in this area, Marie’s voice draws attention to relevant themes and areas needing consideration in future research. Efforts to research the likely bidirectional relationship between parental and familial stress and sibling violence may lead to interventions to help parents and families address this form of family violence in order to create a more cohesive familial unit. Understanding why parents may tend to normalize violence between siblings (Wiehe, 1997) may shed light on how to best intervene through parental psychoeducation so this form of family violence receives the attention that is needed.
Research has found community violence, peer violence, and sibling violence to collectively be related to psychological distress in children and adolescents (Finkelhor, Shattuck, Turner, & Hamby, 2015), which warrants continued examination of how these types of violence intersect. A better understanding of how sibling violence relates to community violence may help in prevention and intervention efforts. Research suggests that in childhood and adolescence, being a victim of sibling violence predicts the likelihood of experiencing peer victimization (Tucker et al., 2014). Finally, efforts to address sibling violence through a multifaceted lens including psychoeducation, interventions, and policy are essential to not only mitigate the effects of sibling violence but also alleviate it as an occurrence in families (Perkins & O’Connor, 2016).
Previous research suggests some groups of children are more likely to be aggressive with their siblings, including children who witness domestic violence (Radford, Corral, Bradley, & Fisher, 2013) and those who experience physical punishment (Eriksen & Jensen, 2009). Higher rates of physical aggression between siblings have been associated with negative parenting traits (Tippett & Wolke, 2015). This suggests that efforts to enhance parenting skills and healthy communication between family members may help minimize aggression between siblings. Providing more preventative and educational services for families is likely to enhance family functioning, which may result in less violence between siblings, and greater well-being for family members. It is important for clinicians to seek out opportunities to provide workshops and services to families before problems begin or become entrenched.
Practitioners frequently work with those who have experienced traumatic or abusive experiences. Whether in outpatient counseling, substance abuse treatment, parenting classes, or other contexts, it is important that clinicians begin assessing for the occurrence of sibling violence. Those providing services to children being bullied in schools or communities should assess for violence at the hands of siblings. Incorporating questions about sibling relationships into intake assessments can assist practitioners in better understanding family dynamics, which can help to determine if education or intervention is warranted should sibling violence be present. If families are normalizing sibling violence, due to their own past experiences, or due to believing violence between siblings is normal, education can be a valuable step in improving family dynamics. Psychoeducation aimed at helping family members understand family violence and its impact (Adams, 2006), in this case specifically regarding physical and emotional sibling violence, may be important first steps toward helping families increase healthy communication, set appropriate rules, establish boundaries, and understand consequences.
Going forward, more research on physical and emotional sibling violence is important for increasing our knowledge base in this area. Understanding dimensions of sibling violence as well as how socioeconomic and racial/ethnic factors impact its prevalence and occurrence are key next steps. Programs and agencies serving families regarding child maltreatment should consider assessing for sibling violence and helping families address this type of violence if it occurs. Providing appropriate and relevant services to these families may help limit the level of violence within already stressed family systems.
Footnotes
Disposition editor: Sondra J. Fogel
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: Monetary support for this study was provided by the Community Service Associates Program through the Division of Community Engagement at Virginia Commonwealth University.