Communologue in Family Therapy

Applications of Communologue

Communologue has been taught and applied to many settings around the world, ranging from the intimate (e.g., family groupings, support groups, and committees) to larger community settings (e.g., work settings, schools, and community groups such as the Imago communities) to international issues such as the Palestinian–Israeli Imago Project, and the work with Rwanda's delegation to the United Nations. Communologue was also adapted as the main means of communication in Imago conferences, and many other Imago settings that addressed issues such as aging (Brown, 2018; Ferstenfeld & Wahrman, 2017), polyamory (Color et al., 2022), the dual role of men in our current society (Wahrman, 2017), global Imago leadership (Shafner & Wieners, 2015), how to create connection and enhance safety in conference setting (Dixon & Wahrman, 2021), and the transition to working on Zoom at the time of COVID (Brown, 2021). In 2007, at the International Imago Conference in Vienna Austria, a very sensitive communologue was held between second-generation Jews and Austrians (Wahrman & Brehm, 2007). At the International Imago Conference in Portland in 2008, an equally emotional and sensitive communologue was held about racism (Wahrman & Parker, 2008). On March 8, 2011, as a special event for Women's International Day, the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, one of the main universities in the country of Israel, held a communologue about the relationship between Arab and Jewish women teachers, students, administrative and other employees of the Hebrew University (Gerias & Wahrman, 2011). The communologue process was generally well received and fully attended, adding to the feeling of safety and connection of the Imago community members, and other participants of the communologues in other settings. Done between two groups or more, the communologue facilitated the dialogue and understanding.

The Israeli Palestinian Imago Project was initiated in 2002 by Orli Wahrman, a certified Imago therapist, working at the time in the Israeli Center for Treatment of Psychotrauma, with the purpose of using the Imago tools and the power of couples, to bridge the gap between Palestinians and Israelis, and to create a safe place and welcoming atmosphere for dialogue and communologue between individuals, couples, and communities. The project was based on the words quoted by the students of the Dalai Lama, that “if one wants to bring peace, he must first bring it to his own home.” The idea was to bring together Palestinian couples and Israeli couples, have them go through the Imago couples’ workshop together (Lawson, 2008), and then take the deep connection, openness, safety, and understanding to the communologue process between the two groups: Palestinians and Israelis. Together with the Palestinian co-leader of the project, Prof. Mohammed Shahin from Al-Quds University, the project continued until 2008. (Fraisl, 2020; Wahrman, 2024). A similar project by the name “The Jewish-Arab Coexistence Group” was conducted between Jews and Palestinians who live inside the State of Israel, with Nohad Geries as co-leader, and is partially active still today.

In 2005, a young Rwandan woman, Immaculee Ilibagiza, was referred by Helen Lakelly Hunt to the Imago Peace Project to learn communologue as a means to help her fellow Rwandans, many of whom had had traumatic experiences in their country's period of genocide. The Imago Peace Project members taught communologue to Rwanda's delegation to the United Nations. After taking it back to Rwanda, the group came again for more communologue training and reported back that the process had been extremely useful.

Over the years, the Imago Peace Project has been involved in many other projects and settings, and there are many stories and learnings still waiting to be told. One of the platforms where communologue was taught, was at the Imago Professional Facilitator's training, a training course for different professions and nontherapists. Through this training, initiated by Evelin and Klaus Brehm from Austria, the communologue reached many new groups, clinical and nonclinical, in many fields of work, education, and other settings. Such an example can be found in Ludwig and Gimnig (2020) who presented the communologue as an exercise by the name “Bridging Circles” (p. 54).

The Structure of Communologue

Communologue is practiced while sitting in a circle. This structure emphasizes the equal value of all voices. Comunologue can also be facilitated on Zoom. Every participant gets the same amount of time to share. A timekeeper is nominated and gives a signal before the sharing time ends. The length of time is decided by the facilitator/s according to time constraints. Sharing starts with one person, and continues clockwise one by one, around the circle. In the Zoom setting, the facilitator creates a circle from the screen and calls the people in that order. If someone does not want to share, they can pass, and the facilitator checks back with them at the end of the round. An ideal communologue has three rounds and takes approximately 90 min. The ultimate number would be 8–12 participants. While the facilitator can certainly do it with less people, more than 12 can be pretty tiring, and probably best divided into two groups or more. The communologue could be about a certain topic, chosen by the group or by the facilitator, or it can be done without a specific topic or with a very general topic.

Communologue always has a facilitator whose job is to maintain the sacred communological space, to teach mirroring and mirror until the participants can do it themselves, to encourage full sharing, to regulate speed and flow, to manage difficult sharing (e.g., questions, frustrations, and hurts), to maintain the tone of prevalidation, and to manage a balanced and shared use of time. The facilitator is responsible for the process and not the content. In conclusion, the facilitator's main role is to encourage full sharing in a safe way.

Engaging in the communologue process includes reading and adopting specially designed norms and guidelines:

Everyone is mirrored. This might slow down the sharing but will help develop a sense of each speaker feeling safe and being fully heard. Everyone can mirror, except the next one to speak who might need the time to reflect on what has just been shared. If the content is very emotional, the facilitator can mirror it. The mirroring inherently includes an empathic stance and tone of voice.

Communologue and Family Therapy

Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKely Hunt have developed the concept of the Space Between inspired by the I-Thou constructs of Martin Buber and by Harry Stack Sullivan who already in the early decades of the 20th century questioned the individual paradigm, and posited that the emphasis should be on what happens between people and not on what happens within them (Hendrix & Hunt, 2021).

The dialogical approach to family therapy seems to capture and expand these same concepts (Brown, 2012; Errington, 2015; Rober, 2005). The dialogical approach to family therapy is rooted in the belief that human beings are fundamentally social and relational, emphasizing the co-construction of meaning through dialogue, rather than focusing on individuals in isolation. The dialogical approach considers the relational dynamics within a family system and stresses the importance of understanding and respecting each member's perspective. The dialogical approach to family therapy is not interested or focused so much on the content. The emphasis is on the process; on how issues are addressed, and responded to in the dialogical space that is created (Seikkula et al., 2011). The therapists do not position themselves as the experts with predefined solutions but rather facilitate a dialogical space where family members can engage in open dialogue, revealing and examining the narratives and stories that shape their relationships. Within the framework of the dialogical approach, this concept of the dialogical family space is paramount. The transformation that occurs in the dialogical space between the members of the family creates new meanings and possibilities. (Brown, 2012). For example, to help adolescents feel trust and safety in the therapy room, the therapist listens to every participant with respect and a nonjudgmental attitude, taking care to be responsive to everyone, even the most disturbed or psychotic (Trimble, 2002). The therapist's main goal would be to stay present, continuing in sensible dialogue with the client (Errington, 2015; Rober, 2005; Trimble, 2002). These interventions and goals, as well as some others mentioned by Errington and other scholars, are all present in the communologue process. However, it is important to emphasize that the dialogical approach for family therapy is more a mindset from which these interventions are inspired and encouraged, modified according to the family, the situation, and the dynamics at hand. In addition, the therapist's role in the dialogical approach is a continuous and active one: to be gently responsive to everything that takes place in the therapy room, so that a safe dialogical space is strongly created and maintained.

Communologue is a defined dialogical process that is easily taught, followed by practice, and adjusted to the age of the participants, whether the children are young adults or older adolescents or younger children. The predicted structure, the slow rhythm, the mirroring, and the subtle validation and empathy woven into the mirroring calm the family members’ brains and allow them to be present instead of being immersed in survival modes (Crapuchettes & Crapuchettes Beauvoir, 2011; Hendrix et al., 2015). It then creates a magical safe dialogical space, where everyone is heard, respected, and listened to and new alternative meanings and feelings can emerge. The family can jointly explore and re-author their relational dynamics, and when this happens, the connection between family members is strengthened and anchored.

The therapist's role is to facilitate the forming of this relational sacred space, not necessarily to solve or suggest anything, but rather to create an atmosphere where problems might be solved or dissolved. Most ideas come from the members of the family. Sometimes the therapist can be responsive to what has been said, like in the dialogical approach, and also speak in the round, usually at the end. This could be especially important if it is a small family, or when the therapist believes he or she can contribute to seeing something in an alternative way. Communologue can also be done digitally if a member of the family is sick or abroad, either by inviting their presence on Zoom, or by setting the whole meeting on Zoom.

While the dialogical process in family therapy, described by Rober (2005, 2011), Errington (2015), and others is a flexible, living dynamic, that changes from family to family depending on the unique circumstances of that family and its specific issues, communologue is fixed, and at most times, cannot be described as a flexible process. We believe the unique structure of the communologue and the safety it creates, are sufficient to involve the family in dialogue and alter the family's dynamics. In special cases, additional interventions can be used, including adding specific validation when it is needed, using the Imago full dialogue between specific members of the family, helping a member of the family share, using a sentence stem (Branden, 1995), the parent–child dialogue between parents and children (Hendrix & Hunt, 2021; Muro et al., 2016), play therapy for young children, and more.

Communologue and Active Listening

It can be argued that the main element of communologue, the mirroring, is similar to active listening, traced back to Carl Rogers and his client-centered therapy. Rogers emphasized the importance of empathy, unconditional positive regard, and genuine concern for the client (Kirschenbaum & Jourdan, 2005; Rogers, 1951). Active listening was integrated into family therapy as part of the broader humanistic psychology movement. Virginia Satir was one of the pioneers in adopting active listening techniques within a family setting. Satir believed that communication is the key to family health (Satir et al., 1991). Other models like Strategic Family therapy, Structural Family therapy, Narrative Family therapy, or some of the current therapies like EFT have also made use of active listening (Berg & de Shazer, 1993; Guilfoyle, 2015; Johnson et al., 1999; Minuchin, 2018). Active listening in marital therapy even became a topic of debate between Gottman and other scholars (Hafen & Crane, 2003). Similar to the dialogical approach's use of dialogue, it would seem that the active listening used in the approaches mentioned above is generally more proactive than “just mirroring.” These might involve restating a paraphrased version of the speaker's message, asking questions when appropriate, and maintaining moderate to high nonverbal conversational involvement (Weger et al., 2014). For example in EFT, active listening is not a passive or merely reflective process. It is an active engagement with the client's emotional world. In EFT's approach to using active listening, EFT therapists can facilitate a transformative emotional experience for clients, moving them from disconnection and distress to a place of understanding, connection, and secure attachment (Johnson et al., 1999).

Mirroring as a vehicle to cross the bridge to the country of the other, being present, studying their world with curiosity, and letting them know we respect and value their otherness, with the sole purpose of slowing the process, creating safety and opportunity for change, seems to be unique to the communologue process. Like the Imago Dialogue, the communologue process is more than a communication technique. It is a lived experience where the members of the family gradually feel safe enough to let down their guards, soften their defenses, feel deeply, and embed their connection. It is in this unique environment of a mutually created dialogical safe place, that they would be able to start examining their differences and otherness, later to be welcomed and accepted.

The Rosin Family

Yoav and Dina, are an Israeli couple in their early fifties, Caucasian, middle-class, of a Jewish faith, married for 32 years and a first marriage for both partners. Dina is a kindergarten teacher and Yoav has a small business. They have two children: Roi, their oldest son, age 30, is a young promising scientist, newly married to Liat, an artist. Idit, their younger daughter, age 26, is studying to be a yoga teacher and lives in a relatively small community a few hours’ drive from her parents. In the last 3 years, she has been in a committed same-sex relationship with Yael (27). The family came to see the therapist, a seasoned female, Caucasian family therapist because of the relationship with Idit, who had become openly lesbian in the last couple of years. This issue created tension in the rather traditional family. A few months before they came to therapy, Idit pulled away and stopped coming to Friday dinners that had been the family's tradition since the kids were born. She also shaved her hair and got a few tattoos. The therapist saw the family for six sessions of an hour and a half, once a week, and two individual sessions, one with the parents and one with their children.

The First Session

In the first session, the therapist introduced the communologue by beginning to mirror immediately and inviting them to sit in a circle, making sure the parents were sitting to her left, so she could begin going around the circle with them. After the therapist introduced herself, she invited each family member to speak a little about himself or herself without the reasons for which they came to therapy. The therapist mirrored each one. She then introduced the communologue norms and guidelines and gave them a one-page handout with the main principles.

In the second round, the therapist began to weave safety in the communological space, by inviting the family members to say something they liked and appreciated about their family. The parents talked about warmth, closeness, and care for each other. Roi enjoyed the family's vacations especially overseas, and Idit mentioned the parents were always willing to come pick her up when she was without a car, making sure she was taken care of. When the therapist took the process a step further and suggested a round of what they would like to change in the family, the atmosphere became tense. The father had a hard time waiting for his turn to speak, becoming angry at the therapist who stopped him gently from bursting in, acknowledging this difficulty.

At his turn the father stated that he wanted to change the tense atmosphere at home, saying that he has been walking on eggshells around Idit. He was unable to relax and was very concerned for his wife who was feeling depressed and hopeless, after having done so much for her children throughout the years. While the therapist was mirroring with empathy, the mother looked at the father with gratitude in her eyes. She said she wished she could go back to the relationship she had with Idit when she was younger as they were so very close then. She felt terrified of the distance between them. Roi said he would like his parents, mostly the mother, to be more accepting of Idit and her girlfriend. Idit was very emotional, blaming her mother as being a racist, primitive, and very insensitive person.

When the therapist explained a communologue rule that when we want to say something about someone else, we are asked to say: “This is what I tell myself about you” Idit laughed first, the family members followed, and the tension eased. In the following sessions, whenever they needed to use this sentence, they all laughed, and the atmosphere became more relaxed. Despite that moment of relief, the atmosphere was sad and tense. Idit said she felt she did not belong to the family; she would have preferred her girlfriend's family who was loving and welcoming. She felt she was being constantly judged for her lifestyle and her decisions. Toward the end of the session, Idit said something about an incident that had happened at home in which she was very hurt. The father snapped at her. The therapist tried to calm the atmosphere by mirroring and showing empathy to all members of the family. Finally, the therapist expressed appreciation to the family for their decision to attend therapy and for being curious and interested in what each of them was sharing. The therapist continued giving the family appreciation at the end of each session.

Two Separate Sessions (With the Parents and the Children)

Since the first session ended with some tension, the therapist decided to have two separate sessions to continue preparing the family for the process. Both meetings served the purpose of joining and making a commitment to the goal of improving relationships in the family. During these meetings, the therapist learned that the grandmother on the mother's side was the only one from the extended family to whom the mother had told “about this disgrace.” In addition, the therapist heard the father seems to be more open, but when embarrassed, he makes jokes. It is in these moments that Idit feels hurt even more than from the mother's direct approach.

Second Family Session

In the second family session, the communologue went deeper. The therapist started with a short centering to get them present and ready and then had them appreciate whoever they wanted. Each member chose someone else in the family to appreciate, which made the round very meaningful. It seemed they were eager to give and receive and the mother was glowing when she received an appreciation from the father.

The family then had a round of what they would like to talk about today. They all agreed they would like to hear Idit. This time Idit spoke more softly, revealing emotions of hurt and pain. As in the communologue the speakers talk to the middle of the circle to avoid forming a dyad in the group, Idit talked to the whole family. The therapist could see how this helped lift the burden from the mother's shoulders, allowing her to be more present and empathic. Idit claimed that even though she has been “out of the closet” for a number of years, and in a committed relationship with Yael for more than 3 years, the mother keeps ignoring the issue altogether and treats her partner like “a normal girlfriend.” With the therapist's help, Idit explained that she was telling herself the mother is disgusted by her and she feels rejected, sad, and angry. Her words were followed by a few quiet moments. Her brother who came next, validated both Idit's pain and the mother's experience of having to accept something that was so alien to her generation. The mother shared her numerous efforts to accept her daughter's choices. She claimed that no matter how much she tried, she felt it was not enough. She cried. There was silence in the room, and then the mother asked if she could add.

The therapist consulted with the family and received the family's consent. Then the mother spoke about her own childhood. How her mother was very tough, having strong convictions about what children should or should not do, and how angry her mother would become if she ever tried to stand up to her. She described how hard she had tried to please her mother, most of the time to no avail. To receive love from her mother, she had to give up on herself, similar to what she was doing now in her attempts to please. She then turned to Idit and said to her “she'se realizing she's giving her the same treatment that she endured from her mother.” Up to that moment, she was unaware of the connection between her reactive behavior toward her daughter, and the inner experience created in her past.

As the therapist mirrored the mother's words, Idit had tears in her eyes. The therapist invited the mother and daughter to look into each other's eyes. In her turn, Idit said she had never heard those things, that she listened with curiosity and compassion, and she then understood more and felt closer. She thanked her mother for sharing. In the next communologue round, Idit said she was feeling unloved and perhaps she had those tattoos done to retaliate somewhat. Her brother said he likes her tattoos, and that his wife said “they are art.” This brought Idit to tears. The therapist ended the session by asking the family to say one word of feeling and mirrored all feelings.

Third Family Session

The third family session started in the same manner, with a short centering and appreciation of a family member. The family members were much more active, making sure everybody was getting appreciated. They all reported an improvement in the family's interactions. The mother asked Idit if she would like to invite Yael for Shabbat dinner and in response, received a hug.

The topic of this meeting was a surprise; the whole extended family planned a joint weekend in Cypress for the end of the month. It seems that the family was rather torn by different positions and attitudes regarding the political and social situation in the country. The father suggested cancellation or postponement of the vacation; he loves peace and quiet and it did not seem possible at that time. Idit said she does not want it canceled and that she had actually talked with Yael about the possibility of her joining the family, for the first time. Roi suggested they should agree on leaving emotions and conflicts outside the gathering.

When it was the mother's turn to speak, she said she had realized this process had given her the courage to speak up. She said she did not believe her husband could manage to do what their son had suggested. She said it was true that her husband likes enjoying life and relaxing, and yet he can easily get triggered and then try to hide his feelings by making fun of the issue involved. This might lead to someone being hurt and all hell would break loose. When it was Idit's turn to speak, she identified with her mother's fear and shared her experience of her father making fun of what is important to her including her sexual orientation. Idit then shared the story she had tried to tell in the first session but had been stopped by her father. That was a precious moment for the mother and daughter together.

It seemed that the father did not feel criticized or judged because he seemed to be deeply listening. When his turn came, he followed the mother's example from the previous meeting and shared where he learned this behavior of making fun and jokes about sensitive or controversial topics. The father apologized and took ownership of his behavior. Idit said she felt a big relief. She was afraid the father would turn his back on her, telling her she is too sensitive and makes a drama of everything, or would blame her. She looked at him with bright eyes and thanked him. The family did not solve the question of whether to go or not to go on the family vacation, but the communologue experience deepened their understanding of each other and strengthened their relationships, increasing the safety and the connection in the family.

Fourth Session With the Extended Family

Before the fourth family session, the therapist received a phone call from Idit asking if both Yael, her partner, and her brother's wife could join them. The children had already talked about it with their parents. The communologue was very emotional. This time the therapist suggested each member would say an appreciation for the family. Both the father and Roi mentioned a change in the atmosphere, Liat, Roi's young wife, talked about how well she was accepted and treated like a family member. Idit thanked her parents for inviting Yael to the Shabbat dinner, and Yael thanked the parents for inviting her.

The therapist thought they were ready to try doing the mirroring themselves and invited them to try. Idit suggested the topic “How our family is dealing with me being attracted to women and having a girlfriend?” She said she was trying to come forward and be courageous. The family agreed. The mother was the first to talk about her initial shock and fear of the unknown, and her unconscious decision to ignore the situation so that maybe she would not need to face it. In the communologue's second round, she apologized for not opening her heart to Yael. She said that “when your heart is so full of anxiety and fear, you cannot give a hug to anyone.” The mother also apologized to Idit for not seeing her needs. The father shared that he had come from a homophobic background and told a story that ran in his family about a remote gay cousin who had a very miserable experience and eventually took his own life. He said he was worried about the difficulties Idit and Yael might encounter later on, especially in what seems to be a changing atmosphere in a world that is becoming more conservative and religious. The younger generation also shared showing vulnerability and openness. A minute before the end of the session, the father told the therapist they decided to go to the family weekend, and that “If we get into trouble, we now have a tool to deal with it.”

Final Session

In the next session, the family told the therapist they had accomplished what they came in for and they felt they could take a break for the summer. After the centering and the appreciations, the therapist suggested a round of: “Something I received/took away from our meetings and something I still see as open and would like to discuss.” The father said he learned how to really listen and refrain from being so emotionally reactive. He shared that at the beginning he thought this would not work, and between himself he made fun of the mirroring, and the “no cross talk” and the idea that “people make sense all the time.” He later saw how valuable these rules were. The mother shared that the communologue sessions awakened many memories both from when she was a young mother with one and then two children and from her own childhood. She said the therapy showed a lot of respect for the participants and created a safe space for all members. She shared how judged and shameful she felt before we started, and how these feelings shifted gradually and gave way to her feeling respected. She now realized the other members of the family were sincerely interested in her, wanting to hear and know more. She said she felt important, which was a new feeling for her. Roi said he understood some things that had occurred, but what really made our meetings worthwhile for him was the new closeness between Idit and their mom. He also thanked both parents and Idit for being such a great family for Liat, including inviting her to take part in the process.

Finally, Idit shared that she now feels much better, and what she had said at the beginning about not feeling like a member of the family, was no longer true. She then thanked her parents for devoting the time and money for our sessions together, thanking her dad for allowing himself to be vulnerable and setting aside his cynicism and inclination to make jokes. She thanked her mother and said she felt as if she got her mother back. The family members who were referred to or were thanked mirrored the final shares. It seemed it came naturally for them, including the questions at the end: “Did I hear you?” and “Is there more?.”

Follow-up

After two and a half months, the therapist contacted the parents to hear how they were doing and if there was a need for more sessions. The parents reported a continuous change in the atmosphere at home, the communication and connection between all the family members. They mentioned using communologue to deal with complex situations and that they played with taking turns in being the facilitators; keeping the sharing-time boundaries, making sure there was no reactivity, and that family members use “I” language and use “This is what I'm telling myself about you..” when they wanted to talk about others.

Strengths of Communologue

Communologue can be used with almost every issue the family brings to therapy, ranging from topics that involve the whole family like money issues, opening secrets, difficulties in communicating, getting ready for a big event, and to problems an individual brings to the table and affects other members of the family. For example, if a family comes to therapy because their 12-year-old son is addicted to porn and this issue challenges the family, the son might need to get extra help to deal with his addiction, but we pose that the son would be more willing to do so after engaging with his family in communologue. Thus, being able to express and understand himself, and at the same time hear the other family members and learn of the different ways in which his addiction influences their lives. Another strength is the safety that is built during the communologue process, which takes the family to deeper layers of understanding of each other, and this deep understanding fosters more feelings of closeness and connection.

Another strength of the communologue process lies in its ability to pave the way for shy people or young children to gradually take their turn to speak. In another setting, they might feel more anxiety and become resistant when the therapist tries to engage them. In the communologue intervention, they have an equal turn, they can pass and have another opportunity at the end of the round, and they can feel invited and valued. Communologue is highly effective in families with adolescents because its structure gives them an opportunity to speak up while at the same time sets boundaries and teaches them to manage their reactivity. As all members of the family are present at the communologue, some ripple effects happening in other fields of the family's life and its members will show up. Finally, the communolgue is relatively easy to learn and follow and the family can experiment in facilitating communologues between sessions, and after the end of therapy.

Limitations of Communologue and Suggestions for Therapists

Although communologue was found to be very effective in creating safety and working with multiple problems in family therapy, there may be some limitations. One limitation is when the members of the family do not feel safe. This can be when there is domestic violence or abuse, for example. In such situations, communologue might be used after some other steps have been taken to stop the violence or abuse. Another situation where the family members might not feel safe could be while facing a conflict of power between parents and children. In the communologue process, the parental roles in the family are supported and respected, while at the same time, the parents receive equal time to share as do their children and they must also abide by the same rules. This might create resistance, especially in traditional cultures, in which parents might fear losing their authority. In such cases, the therapist needs to address these issues at the beginning or during the communologue intervention, by reassuring the parents that listening to their children and validating them does not mean they have to agree with them and that it will not result in them losing their place and authority. In these families, even more than in more modern families, the therapist can encourage the parents to talk about their upbringing during the communologue, so that their children will have a better understanding of the generation gap and where their parents’ beliefs and values originated from. In cases where the parent holding the power has difficulty hearing what is being said or does not wish to listen, the therapist can slow the process even more, making space for the parent to be heard and understood so that he will gradually soften. The power difference could also be of a gender nature, and therefore being sensitive and familiar with the family's culture can help the therapist adjust the communologue to that specific family and its culture.

Another issue the communologue therapist has to be aware of is what might happen in between the sessions when a member of the family might become reactive toward another, and especially when the people who are in power become angry or upset about what other family members have expressed during the communologue. The therapist can take preventive measures by inviting the family to hold their reactivity at home, the same way they learn to do in the communologue sessions. Another challenge could be for therapists who come from therapy models where the therapist is expected to give directions, instructions, or interpretations. In communologue, the therapists are invited to keep their wisdom in their heads and create a safe environment that would allow the family to find the answers themselves.