Intimacy,gender and ethnicity: Non-monogamous relationship dynamics among the Hui in Northwest China

Introduction

As one of 55 officially recognized ethnic groups, the Hui account for 0.79% of China’s population. The Hui are mainly concentrated in western China where there are 6.7 million members, constituting over 62% of the Hui population. The practice of Islam is a key characteristic of Hui identity, especially in Northwest China (Gladney, 1998). In contrast to the other Muslim ethnic groups, such as the Uyghurs, the Hui are more familiar with mainstream Han Chinese society, although their religion marks them as strangers (Lipman, 1997). Specifically, the Hui see Islam as a key factor in determining their views on marriage and intimate relationships. Through this, the Hui enhance their ethnic identity and blood purity (Gladney, 2009; Jaschok and Shui, 2000; Zang, 2007). Erie’s (2016) ethnographic fieldwork in Northwest China found both Islamic and state positions on polygyny to violate women’s dignity and human rights. While he uncovered how Hui women married and sought divorce as they navigate state and Islamic laws, questions remain about how the Hui distinguished polygyny from adultery.

This article explores how the Hui, who live in a double cultural milieu, the local Islamic culture and the larger Chinese Confucian culture, understand non-monogamous relationships. We look at how they interpret Islamic values and beliefs and how that interpretation becomes the basis for interaction in non-monogamous relationships. Using the snowball sampling method, we conducted in-depth interviews and focus group discussions with 41 Hui men and women in Qinghai province in northwestern China. This analysis contributes to our understanding on intimate relations across ethnicities in contemporary China, and to the growing body of work on the intersection between ethnicity and religious faith in marriage and domestic relations (Platt, 2017).

Ultimately, this article argues that, for the Hui, intimacy and sex outside monogamous marriage are enabled by their interpretation of Islam, and allows them to navigate the tension between adultery and polygynous marriage. Moreover, both genders’ interpretation of Islam is instrumental to satisfying their personal interests and sexual needs. For Hui men, Islam justifies their behavior and personal desires, while for Hui women, it shapes their understanding of specific circumstances, so that they uphold gendered practices, standing alongside their husbands.

Intimate practices of the hui in contemporary China

Unlike other Muslim groups in China, such as the Uyghur and Salar, who are easily identified by their languages, the Hui do not have their own language but speak Mandarin or other local Han-based dialects. They are more thoroughly assimilated into the Han majority than other Muslim ethnic groups because of their geographic distribution and history of cultural accommodation, through practices such as intercultural marriages (Dillon, 1999; Gladney, 2009; Zang, 2007). In Qinghai, where this study was conducted, Islam is a meaningful social standard that divides the Hui’s behavior into two possibilities: halal (lawful) and haram (sinful). This division is used to justify intimate relationships outside their legal marriages and to distinguish religiously permitted practices from prohibited practices, such as adultery. In the past decade, ethnic and religious policy changes have brought about an ascendancy in national integration and sinification of religions, especially where religious practice plays a prominent role in maintaining ethnic boundaries for Hui communities in northwestern China (Veselič, 2011). The Hui’s dedication to Islam reinforces their ethnic awareness, especially in situations where their beliefs run afoul of state laws (Mackerras, 2007; Erie, 2016).

In considering the broader Chinese context, during the Imperial China period, polygyny in the form of concubinage was permissible although it was generally restricted to the wealthier classes. Polygyny contributed to patrilineal continuity and concubines were not merely sex objects, but a means of perpetuating the patriline, according to Chinese Confucian ethics. In contemporary China, however, marriage law reforms restricted bigamy and concubinage, and polygamy and polyandry were criminalized. Monogamy and the marriage registration came into effect in 1950 (Ye, 2002). In the 1980s, China witnessed dramatic socioeconomic changes and, with globalization, Western values such as sexual liberation and the freedom to love became more acceptable to the Chinese. Premarital sex, cohabitation, divorce, and even extramarital affairs became less taboo (Li, 2006; Wen, 2010). The 1980 marriage law advocated late marriage, family planning, and added articles on no-fault divorce. These changes indicated a shift in marriage ideals from conjugal stability to individual happiness and autonomy (Xia and Zhou, 2003). Behaviors such as pre-marital cohabitation and affairs became accepted in some social circles. Tian et al. (2013) have even observed the re-emergence of polygynous relationship patterns enabled by the migration of businessmen and rural migrant women in reform-era urban China. Here, young women provide sex and love in exchange for stability (Yan, 2008; Zheng, 2011) while male entrepreneurs articulate their aspirations and needs regarding sexuality, materialism, and self-interest through engaging in male-oriented entertainment and extramarital affairs (Osburg, 2013). Later, with the 2001 marriage law and 2020 civil code, moral ethics such as faithful relationships and mutual respect were reinforced. Monogamy continued to be the only legally recognized form of marriage while bigamy remained a criminal offense. Sex outside a monogamous relationship was still seen as immoral (Zhang, 2010; Xiao, 2009), and virginity and chastity in women were expected and valued as virtues. Public discourse portrayed the ernai (second wife or mistress) or xiaosan (third party) in a negative light, casting them as conniving women trying to gain monetary advantage and benefits (Li, 2006). In the Chinese context then, second wives and mistresses have been present and highly contested over time.

In China, there are ethnic autonomous regions where ethnic groups are allowed to practice a certain degree of cultural autonomy through implementing their own regulations, so long as those regulations do not conflict with national law. For instance, Muslims in Xinjiang and Qinghai are able to marry 2 years younger than their Chinese Han counterparts in those provinces. These modifications do not conflict with national law though as marriage as they still remain monogamous. For the Hui, however, Islam is central to their ethnicity and also acts as a powerful social force in their view. In intimate and sexual relationships in non-monogamous marriage, Hui men and women have locally interpreted Islam to establish the acceptability and properness of their relations. For instance, Qur’anic precepts regarding the sin of adultery are reified in the provisions of Islamic law, but the Hui interpret the meaning of those provisions differently. Indeed, the Hui localize Islamic law, specifically the Qur’an and sunnah, and use Chinese vocabulary, such as qu ernainai (to marry a second wife), to define their intimate relationships outside their legal monogamous marriage. ¹ In Chinese, an ernai refers to the mistress of a married man, and bao ernai describes a male taking another woman that is not his legal wife; however, the Hui in Qinghai use a different term: ernainai (second wife) instead of ernai. Unlike an ernai, who has no legal position in marriage, in a Hui family, an ernainai is often given a religiously sanctioned position as an additional wife.

As an exploratory study on non-monogamous relationships, this analysis seeks to build on the observations from the feminist critique of heterosexuality and Geertz’s (1973) view of ethnicity with group-specific interpretations of Islam. Their studies help to illuminate how the local ethnic culture endorses what the state disapproves as deviant intimacy and sex. Specifically, we examine Islam’s role in distinguishing the Hui’s non-monogamous relationships and separating them from sinful conduct in a double cultural milieu of Islam and Confucianism.

Theoretical framework

Generally, for feminists, gender is typically connected with sexuality and sexuality is gendered (Jackson, 2020). The relationship between the two is constructed to naturalize heterosexuality and masculinity/femininity within normative institutions and structures, such as monogamous procreative sex. Sex is an expected part of married life along with childcare, which makes monogamy essential and therefore socially privileged, especially where men and women are independent from each other. Intimacy in a spousal relationship is therefore viewed as secure and meaningful as attachment grows within affection. As this fits the image and vision of the broader social contexts—community, legal system, and nation and state, it is validated and encouraged. Further, other intimate activities that challenge the heteronormative framework of love are seen as deviant because varied motivations for intimacy make sex more complex, especially when it involves unrestrained and excessive passion in a non-normative context (Friedman, 2006; Brandon, 2010). Thus, sex is controlled and monogamy continues to be presented as the approved form of relationship since matrimonial alliances function to administer sex and its fertility, operating on the body together with legal, familial, religious, and other projects to normalize and institutionalize heterosexuality (Brandon, 2010; Barker, 2011; McLaren, 2002). In other words, (hetero)sexuality is understood to be socially constructed in the organization of marriage and families, work and economy, and, through numerous non-sexual practices such as gendered divisions of labor to create gender inequality. And, social differentiation between men and women in political, economic, educational, and familial fields varies across cultures (Jackson, 2020).

Chinese culture and history is generally based on Confucianist and patriarchal ideologies. While Chen (2017), writing about Chinese women’s lives in history, argues that Confucianism is inextricably linked to women’s oppression, gender historians (Ko, 1994; Mann, 1997; Li, 2006) have criticized this view as obscuring and oversimplifying women’s true stories and promoting “Orientalism” (Mann, 1997). Clearly, women’s social constraints were compounded by the patriarchal family system and Confucianism, especially Neo-Confucian doctrines. In contemporary China, public condemnation of adultery and concubinage, along with women’s movements to protest for women’s rights, had a strong impact on society. Alongside broad economic reforms, China witnessed significant changes in familial structure from that of extended patriarchy to nuclear families brought changes in values from those emphasizing patriarchal order to those of mutual fidelity and conjugal happiness (Tran, 2009; Yan, 2016). Marriage law reforms have also accommodated to the changing nature of social relations, affording protections and rights to women and men, promulgating monogamous marriage based on love rather than family interests, and discouraging (but not sanctioning) age-old practices like the “taking of mistresses.” At the same time, the state has also accommodated to ethnic customs and religious practices, but within the parameters of broader state laws. Although the ethnic and religious policy changes have shown an ascendancy of national integration and significant of religions, religious practices, since the 2000s, continue to play the most prominent role in maintaining ethnic boundaries in Hui Muslim communities where the Hui live together with other Muslim groups such as in Qinghai (Zhao and Leibold, 2020; Stroup, 2017). Religious and cultural practices are continuous, enduring, and playing a legal role in regulating local practices and managing intimate relationships among religious believers (Niu, 2021).

In general, there is greater tolerance for diversity in intimate experiences outside of marriage partially because of its market-oriented economy. For example, Rofel (2007) has seen Chinese citizens challenging sexual norms and embracing different desires based on their self-narrativization, and articulating love, consumption, and self-consciousness; however, the creation of self-imaged citizens is highly gendered and Han-Chinese-centered. That is, only heterosexual conjugal intimacy is seen as legal and natural, and monogamous marriage is the only allowed range to practice affection, commitment, and trust (Xiao, 2009). Additionally, even though the market economy has provided opportunities for both women and men with the relaxation of the hukou system, allowing those from rural areas to migrate to the cities, to find temporary employment, typically in gendered work, as domestic workers or construction respectively, the inequalities between men and women in the areas of politics, economics, education, and family is stark and continue contribute to discrimination against women (Li and Zheng, 2008; Gaetano, 2015; Jackson, 2020).

Returning to the Hui context, they adhere to gender roles that are socially constructed in a historical and bi-cultural context where Confucianism and Islam serve to reinforce an engrained ideology of gendered patriarchal domination and enforce appropriate standards of conduct for men and women. Such disproportionate differences as unequal relationships between husbands and wives and women depicted as domestic in gender roles are considered to be “natural” and “true,” passed down from generation to generation through traditional Chinese and Muslim norms, values, and practices. Hui women are subjugated and legitimated by both Confucian ideology and Islamic culture in various ways. They follow Chinese gender roles and obey the patriarchal authority of the household; they are valued by giving birth to a son; and, they have to accept their subordinate position given religious dictates (Niu and Laidler, 2015). Given the ethnic and geo-economic context they live in, for example in Qinghai, the Hui reference their Islamic beliefs to guide their behavior even though their views on heterosexual intimacy were built on traditional Chinese beliefs concerning manhood and womanhood and the sexual division of labor (Erie, 2016).

In China, Islam is not monolithic, but differs from region to region. Chinese Islam is always expressed with a deeply local understanding, and this localization is a re-interpretation of Islamic rules associated with the common values of each group (Peters, 2005). Through localized Islam, sex and intimacy outside of monogamous marriage is turned into something that is sanctioned by religion and approved in the local context. For instance, an “extramarital affair” in Han Chinese culture refers to sex between a married man and a woman who is not the spouse of that married man or vice versa. In the Hui community, as we will explain later, it is seen as polygyny or qu ernainai (marrying a second wife) so long as the Hui man followed Islamic procedures. Of course, unlike the ethnic Hui, the Han are essentialized as Chinese in China’s transformation of the nation from empire to state; while the Hui and other minorities are seen as primitive or backward ethnic groups (Gladney, 1994). To this end, the Hui are given the sociopolitical space to follow their patriarchal, religious beliefs and customs, which generally reject the Hui women’s experiences, perspectives, and cognitive styles. Such gendered views mark out the multiple limitations for Hui women that result in their tolerance for submissive positions, although their situated knowledge through their distinctive understanding and lived experiences help them maintain a sense of self-awareness and self-determination (Zang, 2007; Niu, 2021). Apart from the Hui’s minority status shaping their social boundaries and views, we have noted that Islam plays a large role in how they understand the world as well. To this end, it is important for us to understand Islam’s views on marriage.

In Islam, marriage is God-given and love is shared among family members with both heterosexual spouses cherishing each other while having self-confidence and inner happiness. To lead a life of chastity and fully develop one’s personality by having children (Engineer, 1999), sexuality is regarded as a gift from God and the right of every person (Boellstorff, 2005). Physical desire and moral virtue are two elements for building true love in marriage. Certainly, whereas marriage gives permission for sexual pleasure and cohabitation between two heterosexual parties, all other forms of sexual intercourse outside of marriage are prohibited and condemned. Therefore, the chastity and fidelity of Muslims, who are assumed heterosexual, are held as fundamental values (Ahmed, 1999). The Muslim family and marriage have long been viewed as a patriarchal unit that has perpetuated traditional beliefs and customs in Islamic nations (Azhar, 1995; Wadud, 1999; Engineer, 1999). In Islam, women’s sexuality and bodies are dominated and restrained in the institution of marriage. This oppression of women comes from the fear that traditional Muslim marriage is threatened as women can undermine marriage if they are not kept under control. Further, unlike other cultures, where women are seen as passive and subordinate, Islamic ideology sees women as strong and, thus, dangerous. As such, women must be controlled by men through sexual segregation and the various forms of Islamic marriage to maintain social order. In so doing, the masculinity of men is confirmed and the behavior of women is confined (Piela, 2012).

Among the various forms of Islamic marriage, polygyny has been a part of Islam’s history, although adultery (zina in Arabic) is a sin and, along with fornication, is seen as a grave crime against God (Kotb, 2004). Adultery is severely punished under Islamic criminal jurisprudence and female infidelity is especially sinful (Ahmed, 1999). Feminist scholars have noted that polygyny is commonly recognized as legitimate, reflecting women’s social status in marriage and the wider Muslim society (Nurmila, 2009; Amin, 2000). Indeed, the acceptance of polygyny shows how men’s desires are benign while women’s are dangerous. Some feminists (Amin, 2000; Mir-Hosseini and Hamzic, 2010) have argued that there is nothing in the Qur’an that implies the inferiority of women in any social context, but the male interpretation of the Qur’an and codified Islamic rules, more or less, are based on male interests. For instance, in the case of polygyny, satisfaction is driven by the willingness to benefit men over women in the name of God, even though the Qur’an does not offer such justification. In China, these Qur’anic precepts regarding women’s proper roles in marriage are reinforced by Confucianism, so Hui women are further bounded by the Confucian patriarchal system (Jaschok and Shui, 2000). Let us now move on to discuss the framework for our analysis and our research design using qualitative research methods.

Methodological note

In-depth interviews and focus group discussions were used in this study and conducted from June to December 2010 in Qinghai. Participants were recruited via snowball sampling of individuals who voluntarily agreed to participate. Observation was conducted on some interviewees with their partners in the summer of 2011, with observational follow-ups in 2015 and 2016. The first author continued to be in contact with some informants, having settled in the area and, thereafter, visiting and talking to the informants to clarify the findings.

Snowball sampling was used because it was difficult to locate research participants since members kept a very low visibility due to concerns for the legal, moral and social sensitivities of their behavior (Marshall and Rossman, 2010). The two authors have worked with hidden people in a range of cultural contexts, and drawing from these experiences, were able to find participants and put them at ease. In addition, the first author, a Muslim from the city of Xining, which allows her to create a sense of familiarity with the local situation.

Generally, the number of interviewees depended on accessibility. 25 Hui men and 26 Hui women were directly contacted, referred by participants, or contacted through other informants. Two of the 26 Hui women were unable to participate due to the refusal of their intimate partners and a third did not want to be interviewed. Among the 25 men, seven declined participating in this study. Ultimately, 18 men and 23 women participated, amongst of them, 12 men were involved in non-monogamous relationships and nine women involved in non-monogamous relationships. All participants were over 18 years old residing in Xining city and counties around that city. The 41 Hui participants in this study had diverse occupations, ranging from merchants and farmers to service workers and retired persons. Their educational backgrounds were also diverse, ranging from those with no formal education to university graduates. As Table 1 shows, among the 12 men involved in non-monogamous relationships, nine were self-employed. They ranged from 35 to 60 years of age. Among the nine women involved in non-monogamous relationships, six were unemployed and one was a peasant. The women who were additional wives of married men were relatively young compared to the legal wives, with seven in the 30–39 years age range. Among the seven legal wives, six were between the ages of 40 and 65.

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Table 1.

Male (n = 12) and female (n = 15) participants involved in non-monogamous relationships.

Sex	F	6 Danainai (pseudonyms: BaoBao, Jun, Xinjie, Xian, Nugeya, Sophia), 7 ernainai (pseudonyms: Fatima, BaiBai, XiuXiu, Jamilah, Jiang, Amiah, Youmna) 2 lovers (Cai, KK)
	M	12 (pseudonyms: Fucai, Jiuyun, Ali, Yusuf, Ishak, Wen, Mr. He, Santai, Koala, Mr. Mu, Mr. Ma, Gandun)
Age range	30–39	12
	40–49	7
	50–59	6
	60–69	2
Highest level of education	Illiterate	6
	Primary school	6
	Junior high school	9
	Junior college	3
	B. A	3
Employment status	Unemployed/peasant	12
	Self-employed/businessmen	9
	Cadre/retired worker	6

Before each interview and group discussion, the study procedures and confidentiality rights were reviewed with each participant. They were informed of potential risks and benefits of participating, and their decision to participate in the study would not affect the nature and quality of their lives and their intimate relationships. To ensure the safety of participants, interviews were carried out in safe and convenient public places, or in places that they designated. All participants have also been anonymized. After in-depth interviews and group discussions, a sense of trust was built between participants and the first author. With this mutual trust, the author asked to visit the participants’ families and some participants agreed. Ultimately, the author conducted observations with three interviewees’ families. The interviews ranged from 30 min to 2 h. During the visits, the author observed and interpreted their daily lives and interactions with each other. Notes during the observations were taken in Chinese to keep the original meaning of the conversations. Summaries of each interview and observation were written in English for analytical purposes.

An interpretative approach was used in data analysis to discover core conceptual categories and understand the Hui’s experiences of non-monogamous intimacy. Following several coding steps, the author compared the individuals’ interpretations and experiences to uncover and synthesize the main themes (Charmaz, 2006). By linking iterative materials, theoretical concepts such as negotiable Hui identity, the instrumental function of religion, and gendered intimacy were identified and developed for analysis and interpretation. In the next section, we will look at the perspective of Hui men about their polygynous experiences before turning our attention to the Hui women’s interpretations of those relationships.

Men’s perspectives on non-monogamous relationships

Although there is interplay and conflict between various interests, values, and beliefs held by the Hui, understanding Islam is a key pathway to interpreting how the Hui see and define their practices. Table 2 shows how some practices that are judged as crimes according to state laws, are acceptable forms of marriage according to the Hui interpretation of Islam and therefore deemed as private matters.

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Table 2.

Matrix of intimate and sexual relations among the Hui.

Types of extramarital relations	Hui acceptance	Danainai awareness	Public openness of ernainai/lover	Legal position of state
Normatively polygamous marriage	Hen jiaomen	Aware	Publicized	Illegal (bigamy)
Islam-sanctioned polygamous marriage	Jiaomen	Depends on husband’s disclosure	Semi-publicized	Illegal
Non-normative relationships	Bu jiaomen	Unaware	Hidden from public	No legal position

The Hui’s use of Islamic religious beliefs to identify what is jiaomen (religiously correct) is a function of how minority ethnic groups maintain their identity. Jiaomen is a noun in Chinese and simply refers to religion itself; for the Hui, however, it is used as both a noun and an adjective. As an adjective, the Hui use it to describe the extent of their religiosity. For instance, if a Hui takes Islam seriously and performs acts based on Islamic doctrine, that person is socially deemed as henjiaomen (very religious). The opposite of hen jiaomen is bujiaomen (not religious), which is judged by one’s failure to express Islam in their behavior. Jiaomen, covers everything between henjiaomen and bujiaomen, and refers to a person who may not practice Islam regularly but does, essentially, perform the proper actions and generally adheres to a religious lifestyle. For the Hui, behaviors that are jiaomen or henjiaomen are deemed halal (lawful), while those that are bujiaomen are haram (sinful).

In parallel with the degrees of jiaomen, there are three types of relationships outside of Hui official marriage that can be observed: normatively religious polygynous marriage, religion-sanctioned polygynous marriage, and non-normative relationships. The term “polygynous marriage” is compatible with local definitions of quernainai (marrying a second wife), which clarifies the relationship as a marriage. According to the Hui, qu, which refers to a man taking a wife in Chinese, is paralleled by nian nikah (marriage), which is the local definition of proper religious behavior to marry a wife in Islamic doctrine. Both qu and nian are verbs that refer to male actions. Nian nikah is obtaining permission for a relationship through a religious ritual ceremony whereby an imam (religious clergyman, locally called ahong) recites some Qur’anic text (suras) to bind the marriage legally. In this way, intimate relations outside of official marriage are equated with a legal marriage. In the institutional structure of polygynous marriage, legal and additional wives, unlike women in concubinage, are equal in their spousal relationships with polygynous men. The relationships of additional wives with men tend to be lifelong due to Islam’s disapproval of divorce. Besides equal treatment toward all wives, the respondents introduced three other principles involved in marrying an additional wife according to their interpretation of the Qur’an: to inform the legal wife and obtain her approval; to marry those who need help, especially poor widows with children; and to get religious permission for the additional marriage by having a nikah and religious wedding ceremony. On the basis of these three principles, Hui men evaluate their religious standing.

Women’s perspectives on non-monogamous relations

The discourse of jiaomen is led by men and intrinsically androcentric, leading to a male-dominant situation where men employ this discourse to define their intimate and sexual relationships outside of official monogamous marriage. Nevertheless, between recognition and disavowal, there are spaces for Hui women to negotiate and balance various interests to fulfill social obligations and satisfy the demands of local groups as well as consider their personal needs.

The ernainais (second wives) confirmed by nikah in this study were widowed, divorced single mothers, victims of spousal abuse, or victims of drug users. The majority (five out of seven) of these women were younger than their danainai counterparts, and they were poor, less educated, and often unemployed, had temporary jobs, or jobs with a low salary. Jiang was sexually assaulted by her father-in-law. Her husband did not care about her. She then divorced him and later met Wen, a married man. XiuXiu had had two registered marriages before she became an ernainai of a married Hui man. Her first marriage ended due to her first husband’s addiction to drugs. Her second marriage ended because the second husband viewed her as flirtatious. Fatima had a short, unregistered marriage that ended in a vocal “divorce” with kouhuan (religiously permission) due to the violent actions of her unregistered husband. After this, she went out to work and met a young man. They married according to religion and had a son, but the second husband was addicted to drugs. Then she got divorced again and became the ernainai of a married man. Jamilah divorced her husband because he spent all their money on gambling. Later, she met Yusuf. Amiah was a widow with two daughters and married a Hui man. After he beat her up, she left him and became the ernainai of a married man.

These women’s social status led them to situations where they faced suspicion for being single, which was harmful to their reputations. As such, some of them relied on their families of origin and lived with their parents. In the local cultural context, Hui women must not remain alone before marriage and after their marriage had ended, they cannot remain single for long. It is considered a sin and a danger for a Hui woman to remain single. The cultural expectations compel women in such a “disadvantaged” single status to try and remarry. It was also expected of them to constrain themselves from sin and danger under the protection of religious marriages in the specific religious and ethnic context of Hui although they would face negative evaluation as corrupting the heteronormative principles and restrained sexuality under the influence of Confucianism. To be an ernainai was logical for them as religion was central to help the extra wives acknowledge and participate in the cultural practice and self-evaluate their behavior accordingly. Local values set up a boundary for them, symbolically entrapping them in order to fulfill their self-consciousness as devoted Muslims and good women (Sharp, 2009).

Religious beliefs and traditional family values based on the Qur’an were not only embedded in the thoughts of these additional wives but also in thoughts and behaviors of the legal wives’, thus entrapping them to retain their cultural beliefs and family values (Sharp, 2009). To danainais—the legal wives—marriage became uncertain and no longer exclusive because of their husband’s action of taking additional wives. The uncertainty also came from having to worry about whether their marriages and life-long relationships could be sustained. Their worries included concerns regarding their disadvantaged position, especially as they were aging. As Sophia, the legal wife of Fucai, who married an additional wife, stated,

Since I married him, I have contributed my whole life to this family, to him, and to our children. He now wants to marry a young woman to display how manly he is. He has not taken care of me because I am old and useless.

Sophia’s concerns were shared especially by other two older danainais (Xinjie and Youmna). They needed to ensure that they would be taken care of and accompanied by their husbands in deciding whether they were able or willing to maintain their marriages. In this regard, they reluctantly accepted their husbands’ marriages to other women, but it was the only way they could think of to maintain their marriages. Youmna, the danainai of a polygynous man, claimed,

It is said that a man can marry more in the Qur’an. I cannot read and do not know what it exactly says about it. As long as the religion says that, then I have to believe it as true.

The women criticized the local interpretation of Islam while they did not disavow their religious identity as Muslims who believed in their God and practiced their religion accordingly. Some of them took a step beyond the local religion to demonstrate the wrongness of their husbands’ non-monogamous relationships within the state legal system. In this study, several legal wives (Sophia, Xian, and Jun) employed secular motives for divorce or punishment for their husbands’ acts. Their behaviors reflected the needs of women for gratification and social support at the moment and the opportunities and expectations presented by the current situation they occupied (Johnson, 2008). By initiating a divorce or a lawsuit, they made decisions according to their interests and concerns, resisting gender discrimination, and negotiating for justice and equity although they knew that their husbands’ non-monogamous relationships were ethnicized. Borrowing Sharp’s (2009) term of “transforming motives,” we see that the legal wives adopted transforming motives to escape entrapment and acted on threats to the symbolic boundaries of their social identities.

Compared to struggles of the legal and additional wives, women involved in non-normative relationships understood the immorality of their behavior as they found love, or whatever might have been missing in their legal marriages, such as care, consideration, or patience from their husbands. As they needed to reconcile their immorality with their desires, Islam presents a difficult solution to them. As KK justified herself,

It is immoral and I need to solve this problem. If I get divorced, I could accept being his second wife. At least, it is acceptable in the Hui community.

From this, we have seen that both men’s and women’s interactions and interrelations in specific environments have created various relationships outside official marriage for the Hui. The discourse of jiaomen represents communal norms that distinguish proper and legal intimacy (monogamous and polygynous marriage) from bad and deviant intimacy (adultery). To be jiaomen, the Hui engaged in non-monogamous relations had to fit themselves into religiously prescribed forms of polygyny to avoid being seen as adulterers. In this way, their adherence to Islam was needed to “make their lives more livable” (Ho, 2006, p. 549), especially for Hui men. Nevertheless, Hui men determine how religious marriage is constructed and sustained in the name of local culture and religion to benefit other men. Women do not play a role in determining the variety of relationships, but their participation in and acceptance of them have helped Hui men practice intimacy and sex outside their official marriages.

Discussion and conclusion

Religion and religious practice still dominate Hui individuals’ lives (Gladney, 1991). Religious faith represents the common values of the ethnic group, enables the Hui to maintain their social relationships and communal order as well as allowing them to culturally disengage from other groups, especially in northwest China. Islam is thus essential to understanding how they navigate intimate and sexual relationships outside their official heteronormative marriage.

This is in contrast with Chinese law, which designates monogamous marriage as the only legal form of marriage, thus a married person involved in multiple marital relationships, such as polygyny, is a crime. Ethnically, however, the Hui understand and interpret their behavior based on their ethnic culture’s association with Islam. They assume that their non-monogamous behavior is free from state prosecution since they are able to deal with it within the local community, although some still encounter the law and are perceived as deviants. From this study, only one man was charged with bigamy, which is an offense under state law. The legal wife of the man sued him for his act of baoernai and according to state law, this was judged as bigamy. Nevertheless, Hui subculture offered values and resources for interpreting and accepting intimate and sexual relationships outside official marriage (Xiao, 2009; Niu, 2021). By Hui interpretation and its collective understanding of the Qur’an, Islam sanctions their behavior.

The localized discourse of jiaomen acts as a moral judgment distinguishing religiously sanctioned practices from other forms of non-monogamous relations. They deploy jiaomen to explain and categorize their non-monogamous relations as acceptable relationships. Jiaomen functions as part of the local knowledge system by constructing cultural patterns by which the Hui may then construe their behavior. This local knowledge arises from their social interactions and communications in their daily lives, which through an interpretative process enables an understanding of the meaning of these sexual relationships outside official marriage (Geertz, 1973). Jiaomen also provides a symbolic boundary within which the Hui may appreciate their religion and reify their ethnicity while holding on to national laws. Through this, they are able to exercise the quasi-autonomy of their own jurisdiction.

Religious sanction of their behavior, based on Hui interpretation and collective understanding of the Qur’an, does have an effect on the Hui’s perceptions of their local practices. The abilities of the Hui are represented in their negotiations and cooperation/resistance in certain circumstances in which they interpret and re-interpret their intimate relationships. They make socially devalued romance ethnically valuable, compromise anxieties with responsibilities to marriages, and negotiate intimacy and gender roles in the intersection of intimacy, ethnicity, gender, age, and economy. They stir at the boundaries between backward/civilized, good/bad intimacy and otherness/Chineseness in order to construct their individual identities and subjectivity.

In the local patriarchal context, however, the discourse of jiaomen was produced and perpetuated by the powerful (males in particular). Hence, the Hui’s religious position is gendered as it favors men and enables them to fulfill their desires and duties regardless of a woman’s concerns and feelings. However, there were different interpretations and disagreements on the local practice among the Hui men. Some men truly believed in their religious undertaking of additional marriages and view their actions as halal. Meanwhile, some other men mobilize Islam to justify their own sexual and intimacy interests.

If men occupied a dominant position in the Hui, then the individual rights and private spaces of women have received little to no attention as a group (Okin, 1999). By using terms such as “internal restrictions” and “external protections,” Kymlicka (1999) argues that the rights of individuals within a group—women’s rights in particular—are restricted in the name of cultural tradition and integrity. Because of their limited involvement in the educational, economic, and public spheres, Hui women have to believe that the male practice of non-monogamous relationships is allowed in the Qur’an. It is the wife of the man who has to show tolerance for remaining faithful while her husband takes another partner, as it is common to think that this is how a good wife should behave. Meanwhile, a Hui woman who participates in non-monogamous relationships is trapped in a male-dominated discourse and becomes an object of religious politics.

To this end, it can be seen that the Hui have carefully juggled the expectations of a broad Chinese culture and a specific local culture, and found themselves in the cultural and patriarchal context of China and Islam where they can generally fit in while also preserving their specific identity. A dual binary of Islamic and Confucian ethic is significantly related to the oppression of Hui women while Islamic culture was also viewed as a protective variable in enhancing the self-value and self-assurance of the women as well as accountable for non-monogamous actions of the Hui men. This research has described the standpoints and lived experiences of both the Hui men and women in a specific social, cultural, and ethnic context. Although non-monogamous relations have accrued a high level of research in both international and Chinese literature, no existing research has focused on the experiences of various heterosexualities of groups in the margins of ethnicity and social class in China. Further research would benefit from including studies of diversity in intimate relationships among different ethnic groups, especially in regard to women of those ethnic groups situated at the intersection of socioeconomic status, ethnicity, heteronomative gender, and sexuality.